I went to the doctors earlier today, and I knew they were going to tell me off for having missed appointments over christmas (I was ill), and then re-arranging one to go to Vegas. I still went there quite confident my recent pains were the remains of infection that just WONT go away.
My reasoning is this, The pain got worse after I stopped antibiotics, it hit me on a flight to Vegas, and gave me upset stomach and gurgling. A few days later it subsided. So I get to the oncology ward, my usual bouncy quite happy self, and they make me wait JUUUUUUST long enough to be bored and not quite so happy.
I head in, and get said bollocking, and they mention the sample they took of my wee had no sign of infection. My first though is why would it? The infection isn't in my bladder... but then surely and infection infects all of you?... But then I was on the antibiotics at the time I gave the sample.
Anyways, all this stuff is swirling around my head instead of sleep. That and discomfort in the lower abdomen and around sensitive parts. I'm writing this out to hope maybe it will leave my head. But how are you supposed to sleep when all you can think is "what if?"
What if I have to shave my head?
What if it spreads to the other ball, no kids?
The worst part about it all is I just want to curl up and hug.
I dont get like this often, I mean its SUPER rare. Normally I want to be the life of the party, and Ive been especially horny and outgoing lately too.
I'm scared. I admit it. Its 4am and I cant sleep.
I wonder whats on BBC news 24.
(Edit, Jan 09: What was interesting about this blog was who didn't respond to it)
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
Questionaire 2.
1. Who was the last person to call you babe?
I fucking hate that word. So probably Ryan, after I told him under no circumstances is he allowed to do so.
2. When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart?
No I leave it by my car, or occasionally get a few and race around the car park. Not done that in too long.
3. If you had to kiss the last person you kissed, would you?
Yeah, I tend not to kiss idiots or people I don't like. That would just be silly. Although the last thing I kissed was a dog (ON THE HEAD on account of the cuteness). Don't go getting weird ideas. Weirdo.
4. Has someone ever sang a song to you?
Plenty of bands have, and I'm under no illusion the rest of the crowd thought it was for them too... but I KNOW it was for me. Such is the joy of narcissism.
5. Do you play Sudoku?
It sounds like a martial art for coronation street cast members... but no. I like to try and fit amusing words into the gaps and then leave them on trains... Like I thought it was a crossword and fucked up.
6. If abandoned alone in the wilderness would you survive?
Define wilderness. If you dropped me in the sahara desert with no water I'd be screwed, but in Woods a couple of miles from the A1, shouldn't be too hard to find a petrol station and steal a mars bar.
7. Have you danced in the rain?
What a stupid thing to do. Why? Why would you?
8. Would you consider yourself a jock/prep/goth/emo/gangster?
skater-jock-prep-goth-emo-gangster... about covers it actually
9. Ever been to the beach?
Which beach? I've been to "A" beach, in fact many beaches.
10. Do you like cheese?
It really depends. Its a temperamental sod. I mean sometimes its really rewarding, and adds to nearly any meal, but then there is the really sweaty stuff. I just don't get it. You blue stilton eaters are wrong. WRONG AND SICK
11. Have you ever been to the emergency room?
Yeah, I... I swallowed a 10p.... :(
12. Do you like hot or cold weather more?
hot, no cold... no... hot... Hot climate, plenty of air con. Win.
13. How many different kinds of meat have you eaten?
Veal, Pork, Duck, Lamb, Beef, Chicken, Turkey... Any more?
14. Do you pass gas and blame it on others?
The king does not pass gas, he enjoys it.
15. Do you like winter?
He's alright. Keeps leaving the toilet seat covered in piss though. Nob.
16. Have you wiped a booger under your desk?
Not under MY desk, but plenty of other desks
17. Do you have a secret crush?
Nope, in fact, if you're female and attractive, available (and not a nob), I probably want sex with you.
18. If your house was on fire, what would be the first thing you would do?
Unplug my pc, grab it and run. Yes really, but I live in an apartment block with sprinklers.
19. Would you get plastic surgery?
No, Im hawt. Metal surgery sounds interesting though.
20. Who do you text the most?
Facebook. Seriously.
21. What color are your eyes?
BLOOD RED
22. How tall are you?
7'9 and a third
23. Do you wish you had smaller feet?
No, why on earth would I want smaller feet? I kinda like the size 11 thing I got going on.
24. Has a rumor been spread about you?
Probably, I'm divisive, and really really beardy
25. Have you written a secret admirer letter?
When I was 11. Becky Cawthra, and the bitch did nothing about it. I made an interesting rhyme and everything. Little did I know grovelling love letters only work if you wear a suit and appear in Marks and Spencer adverts.
26. Ever fallen for your best friend?
My best friend is a dude. So no.
27. Age you lost your virginity?
I'm dying to say 7, and to a carrot in the ass... but 16
28. Would you pretend to like something to please your partner?
Thats a very dodgy question. I wouldn't go for the gimp mask shit. Im too naturally dominant for that.
29. Favorite Ex?
Laus, without question. We're still good friends.
30. Are you insecure about your weight?
Its a bit low by my standards, but Im hitting the gym more. I'll be back at 14 and a half stone before long
31. Ever had a sexual fantasy?
Im getting hornier as I get older. Its like my body went "well they took a testicle, lets spread that damn DNA"
32. Would you rather give or recieve?
Give, its not gay if you give it... Scott says...
33. Do you prefer to sleep or eat?
Eat, fall asleep, wake up, and eat again
34. Do you look like your mom or dad?
My uncle. YEAH, didnt see secret option 3 comin did you? HAaaa
35. How long does it take you in the shower?
Depends if Im washing my hair or having a wank, or both.
36. Do you watch reality tv?
Sports I guess counts. Id love to be on reality tv as an audience member just giving them shit.
37. What movie do you want to see right now?
The Life of David Gale. It rocks
38. Do you illegally burn music?
Technically yes, although its a grey area.
39. What did you do for New Years Eve?
Watched American Dad with Cat (and got SPLURGED), then went out with Ry, Annie, Sarah and Noreen... then a hamster showed up with Inspector Pook.
40. Do you think The Grudge was crappy?
Not as shit as this quiz. Who writes these questions?
41. Last sporting event attended?
Naked mud wrestling fat americans trying to screw their livestock.
42. Have you been to an IMAX theater?
Yes. Its all floaty and weird. I love it. Can you imagine IMAX porn?
43. Was your mom a cheerleader?
No but she's about 5'6 blonde and pretty... My mom rocks.
44. Were you a planned pregnancy for your parents?
Not at all, I was a pill that wasn't taken or "miracle birth" :p
45. What is your middle name?
SlicedForeskin
46. How old was your mom when she gave birth to you?
22, she was younger than I am now.
47. How many hours of sleep do you get a night?
10 hours + on average.
48. Last time you had sex?
Couple of weeks.
49. What do you buy at the Movies?
Pic n Mix and minstrels. I never finish either and end up throwing them away.
50. Do you know how to play poker?
Reasonably well yeah. Its a button on facebook that you press.
51. Do you wear your seatbelt?
Who's gonna say no to this question? Was this questionnaire made in the late 80s?
52. What do you wear to sleep??
Boxer Shorts, or a Ronald McDonald thong.
53. Anything big ever happen in your town?
ME. I was all like in that place, and then I LEFT YO. Straight up.
54. Is your hair straight or curly?
Big, until I make it little, with my magic hot wand ear pain.
55. Is your tongue pierced?
Some would say forked
56. Do you like Liver and Onions?
My liver is quite cool since it keeps me alive, but I only have one onion :(
57. What is your favorite sushi?
The kind that GETS THE HELL AWAY FROM ME
58. Do you like funny or serious people better?
People who dont take themselves too seriously until they absolutely have to.
59. Ever been to Hollywood?
Not yet. I would be spotted and made a millionaire (Its called the american dream and Im allowed to have it)
60. Who is on your mind right now?
Johnny Soporno and his slowness to reply. I wanna go to vegas
61. Any plans for tonight?
Its 1am and Im watching basketball. Do the math.
62. Last party attended?
The Pants Party
63. Do you hate chocolate?
Who writes this shit pt3. Who hates chocolate? And do they hate babies too? Babies are kinda shit though. They don't do anything but make a mess, and for what? A cute girgle and a smile. You can get that at an old folks home.
64. What do you and your parents fight about the most?
Oil
65. Are you a gullible person?
Not terribly. I got april fooled once maybe
66. Ever go to a theme or costume party?
I go to plenty, as me.
67. If you could have any job what would it be?
Blow
68. Are you easy to get along with?
On a basic level yes. But if you mention saving the planet Im liable to heatbutt you.
69. What is your favorite time of day?
NIGHT. WOOOOOOOOO!
70. Are you a generally happy person?
Pretty much.
I fucking hate that word. So probably Ryan, after I told him under no circumstances is he allowed to do so.
2. When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart?
No I leave it by my car, or occasionally get a few and race around the car park. Not done that in too long.
3. If you had to kiss the last person you kissed, would you?
Yeah, I tend not to kiss idiots or people I don't like. That would just be silly. Although the last thing I kissed was a dog (ON THE HEAD on account of the cuteness). Don't go getting weird ideas. Weirdo.
4. Has someone ever sang a song to you?
Plenty of bands have, and I'm under no illusion the rest of the crowd thought it was for them too... but I KNOW it was for me. Such is the joy of narcissism.
5. Do you play Sudoku?
It sounds like a martial art for coronation street cast members... but no. I like to try and fit amusing words into the gaps and then leave them on trains... Like I thought it was a crossword and fucked up.
6. If abandoned alone in the wilderness would you survive?
Define wilderness. If you dropped me in the sahara desert with no water I'd be screwed, but in Woods a couple of miles from the A1, shouldn't be too hard to find a petrol station and steal a mars bar.
7. Have you danced in the rain?
What a stupid thing to do. Why? Why would you?
8. Would you consider yourself a jock/prep/goth/emo/gangste
skater-jock-prep-goth-emo-
9. Ever been to the beach?
Which beach? I've been to "A" beach, in fact many beaches.
10. Do you like cheese?
It really depends. Its a temperamental sod. I mean sometimes its really rewarding, and adds to nearly any meal, but then there is the really sweaty stuff. I just don't get it. You blue stilton eaters are wrong. WRONG AND SICK
11. Have you ever been to the emergency room?
Yeah, I... I swallowed a 10p.... :(
12. Do you like hot or cold weather more?
hot, no cold... no... hot... Hot climate, plenty of air con. Win.
13. How many different kinds of meat have you eaten?
Veal, Pork, Duck, Lamb, Beef, Chicken, Turkey... Any more?
14. Do you pass gas and blame it on others?
The king does not pass gas, he enjoys it.
15. Do you like winter?
He's alright. Keeps leaving the toilet seat covered in piss though. Nob.
16. Have you wiped a booger under your desk?
Not under MY desk, but plenty of other desks
17. Do you have a secret crush?
Nope, in fact, if you're female and attractive, available (and not a nob), I probably want sex with you.
18. If your house was on fire, what would be the first thing you would do?
Unplug my pc, grab it and run. Yes really, but I live in an apartment block with sprinklers.
19. Would you get plastic surgery?
No, Im hawt. Metal surgery sounds interesting though.
20. Who do you text the most?
Facebook. Seriously.
21. What color are your eyes?
BLOOD RED
22. How tall are you?
7'9 and a third
23. Do you wish you had smaller feet?
No, why on earth would I want smaller feet? I kinda like the size 11 thing I got going on.
24. Has a rumor been spread about you?
Probably, I'm divisive, and really really beardy
25. Have you written a secret admirer letter?
When I was 11. Becky Cawthra, and the bitch did nothing about it. I made an interesting rhyme and everything. Little did I know grovelling love letters only work if you wear a suit and appear in Marks and Spencer adverts.
26. Ever fallen for your best friend?
My best friend is a dude. So no.
27. Age you lost your virginity?
I'm dying to say 7, and to a carrot in the ass... but 16
28. Would you pretend to like something to please your partner?
Thats a very dodgy question. I wouldn't go for the gimp mask shit. Im too naturally dominant for that.
29. Favorite Ex?
Laus, without question. We're still good friends.
30. Are you insecure about your weight?
Its a bit low by my standards, but Im hitting the gym more. I'll be back at 14 and a half stone before long
31. Ever had a sexual fantasy?
Im getting hornier as I get older. Its like my body went "well they took a testicle, lets spread that damn DNA"
32. Would you rather give or recieve?
Give, its not gay if you give it... Scott says...
33. Do you prefer to sleep or eat?
Eat, fall asleep, wake up, and eat again
34. Do you look like your mom or dad?
My uncle. YEAH, didnt see secret option 3 comin did you? HAaaa
35. How long does it take you in the shower?
Depends if Im washing my hair or having a wank, or both.
36. Do you watch reality tv?
Sports I guess counts. Id love to be on reality tv as an audience member just giving them shit.
37. What movie do you want to see right now?
The Life of David Gale. It rocks
38. Do you illegally burn music?
Technically yes, although its a grey area.
39. What did you do for New Years Eve?
Watched American Dad with Cat (and got SPLURGED), then went out with Ry, Annie, Sarah and Noreen... then a hamster showed up with Inspector Pook.
40. Do you think The Grudge was crappy?
Not as shit as this quiz. Who writes these questions?
41. Last sporting event attended?
Naked mud wrestling fat americans trying to screw their livestock.
42. Have you been to an IMAX theater?
Yes. Its all floaty and weird. I love it. Can you imagine IMAX porn?
43. Was your mom a cheerleader?
No but she's about 5'6 blonde and pretty... My mom rocks.
44. Were you a planned pregnancy for your parents?
Not at all, I was a pill that wasn't taken or "miracle birth" :p
45. What is your middle name?
SlicedForeskin
46. How old was your mom when she gave birth to you?
22, she was younger than I am now.
47. How many hours of sleep do you get a night?
10 hours + on average.
48. Last time you had sex?
Couple of weeks.
49. What do you buy at the Movies?
Pic n Mix and minstrels. I never finish either and end up throwing them away.
50. Do you know how to play poker?
Reasonably well yeah. Its a button on facebook that you press.
51. Do you wear your seatbelt?
Who's gonna say no to this question? Was this questionnaire made in the late 80s?
52. What do you wear to sleep??
Boxer Shorts, or a Ronald McDonald thong.
53. Anything big ever happen in your town?
ME. I was all like in that place, and then I LEFT YO. Straight up.
54. Is your hair straight or curly?
Big, until I make it little, with my magic hot wand ear pain.
55. Is your tongue pierced?
Some would say forked
56. Do you like Liver and Onions?
My liver is quite cool since it keeps me alive, but I only have one onion :(
57. What is your favorite sushi?
The kind that GETS THE HELL AWAY FROM ME
58. Do you like funny or serious people better?
People who dont take themselves too seriously until they absolutely have to.
59. Ever been to Hollywood?
Not yet. I would be spotted and made a millionaire (Its called the american dream and Im allowed to have it)
60. Who is on your mind right now?
Johnny Soporno and his slowness to reply. I wanna go to vegas
61. Any plans for tonight?
Its 1am and Im watching basketball. Do the math.
62. Last party attended?
The Pants Party
63. Do you hate chocolate?
Who writes this shit pt3. Who hates chocolate? And do they hate babies too? Babies are kinda shit though. They don't do anything but make a mess, and for what? A cute girgle and a smile. You can get that at an old folks home.
64. What do you and your parents fight about the most?
Oil
65. Are you a gullible person?
Not terribly. I got april fooled once maybe
66. Ever go to a theme or costume party?
I go to plenty, as me.
67. If you could have any job what would it be?
Blow
68. Are you easy to get along with?
On a basic level yes. But if you mention saving the planet Im liable to heatbutt you.
69. What is your favorite time of day?
NIGHT. WOOOOOOOOO!
70. Are you a generally happy person?
Pretty much.
Monday, January 07, 2008
The Value of Wisdom
If life was a question, the answer would be your eulogy, or at least how you are remembered. So the question is, how will you be remembered and who will be doing the remembering?
Everybody wants and respects wisdom. Those big sentences that give us the "Oh shit" moment and make everything seem so simple. Those are the sentences most wish they could produce.
Yet just like those who live in hot climates long to see snow, and those who live in the cold long for the sun... Wisdom and Learning are two very different things. Wisdom, or more accurately the illusion of wisdom can be constructed from an advanced vocabulary and some lateral thinking.
I find it very easy to out argue somebody, or better articulate their thoughts. In a strange way I can get to the very route of understanding... and you'd think this would be all a person ever needs, and often for other people a good listener is all they need to be content. If only my life were so simple :p
What use are answers without questions? If you remember at school when the teacher gave you questions and answers, you always had to write the question? I would always discard the question and just write the answer. I appear to be wired for thinking that way and here's how it can be bad.
1) Dogs
2) Insight
3) banana's
4) Probably Greece
5) Alan Carr
6) Twice a week on average
The above are all the answers to some quite interesting questions. Yet standing alone they are utterly useless. They could be about anything, and it would take some pretty good guess work to figure out what they mean.
How about another example. If you ever cheated and looked at the answers to fill in the crossword, notice how the enjoyment is destroyed. If you ever used a guide to a video game, its nowhere near as fun. We love to discover, its hard-wired.
In effect, having all the answers is USELESS.
In a conversation, or debate if one person starts with a very well rounded and articulate statement covering a lot of possible comebacks, the debate is stifled and the joy is gone. Whenever we are given an answer, we don't like it that much.
So when we have a friend who can help us express ourselves, we find it intoxicating. Instead of cheating, we are forced to articulate our own thoughts and learn something about ourselves. Communication is one of the joys of living. Not having the answer, but travelling to it WITH OTHERS.
So with several paragraphs of qualification I'm about to make a bold statement. I have always being accused of being a smart arse, of having all the answers. I've realised that yes, that's actually true.
I have a nose for an answer and I will instinctively find it. Of course as I've established that's of no real use to me, beyond a discipline mechanism. I still have to learn and experience things just like anyone else, I just happen to be really good at knowing what to do. Whether I do it or not is a different matter all together, and where I require my friends. Like the guy in the hot climate begging for snow, I need people who challenge and interest me. People who can put up with my shit. The combination of challenge and strong desire to live life to the fullest is an excellent recipe to ensure someone will be close to me.
Whenever you have an epiphany the temptation is to shout it from the rooftops, it creates a rush of mania that is addictive and evangelical. I've come to learn that far smarter people than I have had all the epiphanies I have, and articulated them far better. It's interesting just how wise figures from history that are well known can be.
The issue isn't that this knowledge doesn't exist. All your answers are out there... It's that they have to be tied up into what we call a lifetime. It's at this point you stop seeing the answer as the goal. The answer alone is useless. It's how you get there and who with.
If life was a question, the answer would be your funeral, or at least how you are remembered. So the question is, how will you be remembered and who will be doing the remembering?
Everybody wants and respects wisdom. Those big sentences that give us the "Oh shit" moment and make everything seem so simple. Those are the sentences most wish they could produce.
Yet just like those who live in hot climates long to see snow, and those who live in the cold long for the sun... Wisdom and Learning are two very different things. Wisdom, or more accurately the illusion of wisdom can be constructed from an advanced vocabulary and some lateral thinking.
I find it very easy to out argue somebody, or better articulate their thoughts. In a strange way I can get to the very route of understanding... and you'd think this would be all a person ever needs, and often for other people a good listener is all they need to be content. If only my life were so simple :p
What use are answers without questions? If you remember at school when the teacher gave you questions and answers, you always had to write the question? I would always discard the question and just write the answer. I appear to be wired for thinking that way and here's how it can be bad.
1) Dogs
2) Insight
3) banana's
4) Probably Greece
5) Alan Carr
6) Twice a week on average
The above are all the answers to some quite interesting questions. Yet standing alone they are utterly useless. They could be about anything, and it would take some pretty good guess work to figure out what they mean.
How about another example. If you ever cheated and looked at the answers to fill in the crossword, notice how the enjoyment is destroyed. If you ever used a guide to a video game, its nowhere near as fun. We love to discover, its hard-wired.
In effect, having all the answers is USELESS.
In a conversation, or debate if one person starts with a very well rounded and articulate statement covering a lot of possible comebacks, the debate is stifled and the joy is gone. Whenever we are given an answer, we don't like it that much.
So when we have a friend who can help us express ourselves, we find it intoxicating. Instead of cheating, we are forced to articulate our own thoughts and learn something about ourselves. Communication is one of the joys of living. Not having the answer, but travelling to it WITH OTHERS.
So with several paragraphs of qualification I'm about to make a bold statement. I have always being accused of being a smart arse, of having all the answers. I've realised that yes, that's actually true.
I have a nose for an answer and I will instinctively find it. Of course as I've established that's of no real use to me, beyond a discipline mechanism. I still have to learn and experience things just like anyone else, I just happen to be really good at knowing what to do. Whether I do it or not is a different matter all together, and where I require my friends. Like the guy in the hot climate begging for snow, I need people who challenge and interest me. People who can put up with my shit. The combination of challenge and strong desire to live life to the fullest is an excellent recipe to ensure someone will be close to me.
Whenever you have an epiphany the temptation is to shout it from the rooftops, it creates a rush of mania that is addictive and evangelical. I've come to learn that far smarter people than I have had all the epiphanies I have, and articulated them far better. It's interesting just how wise figures from history that are well known can be.
The issue isn't that this knowledge doesn't exist. All your answers are out there... It's that they have to be tied up into what we call a lifetime. It's at this point you stop seeing the answer as the goal. The answer alone is useless. It's how you get there and who with.
If life was a question, the answer would be your funeral, or at least how you are remembered. So the question is, how will you be remembered and who will be doing the remembering?
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