The following is an excercise in ranting. It is unreasoble and biased. React.
Children in Need angers me. Not so much that they're a charity, or even a televised marthon of people failing to entertain me. Its the false excitement that everyone puts on for the whole thing.
It's like Hen nights, or office fancy dress parties. Its those without a sense of humour attempting to be zany and energetic. It brings out creatures who really should stay inside, continue watching daytime TV and over eating. "OOO look at me, Im so zany and crazy". People who SAY that shit, are doing so to compensate for a lack of personality. Personality isn't difficult. Observe a musing plucked from thin air.
"Why when you go to a club do you call it clubbing? It suggests violence and fails to deliver. Have you ever seen a club with the lights off? They're such a let down. Like some women without makeup. Lesson for the day. True value lasts, regardless of the light levels".
See? EASY. Interesting, mildly funny, and MOST importantly ORIGINAL.
Why the fuck are TV cast members trying to sing songs from the 60s about getting high? How is that going to make me donate? They keep pointing out that people don't donate while they are being entertained. I'm being bored to fucking tears, and I keep watching out of morbid curiosity. How low can this thing go. Then they throw on some reformed boyband that lacks talent, or the latest X factor wannabe. OUCH
Don't get me started on the constant cheering. TV shows clap at EVERYTHING. Have you ever tried to clap along with a tv show? Try it. It will make you want to stab seals. All this stuff is the norm, all this stuff we accept because we're used to it. Like the laughter track on comedy shows.
Middle aged, middle of the road, mildly zany, mild entertainment causes such rage in me. Dressing up makes them look FAT, struggling to say "I spent all day in custard" makes them look stupid AND FAT. Being ugly and fat on TV after sitting in custard all day makes their life pointless. Die.
There are proven ways to make money. Chances are you make more outside ASDA with a bucket than you ever will sitting in beans (Unless you have rich friends and good guilt strings). People do the sitting in beans, and then BRAG about it. "I sat in beans! Will you give me money?". Did I miss the memo, or does that make no sense whatsoever? You sat in beans, haha, you dumbass.
Hen nights should fuck off.
Why is there always ONE hot girl, and the rest ugly? Why do they use this occasion to be really "outrageous" and pinch my ass, or ask me why I have long hair. Their lives are insignificant to me. I will never see them again. They're ugly, agressivley medicore and have probably never voted. I dont want to interact with these people.
Noodles are shit. Whats the fucking point? They taste like cardboard.
Children in Need angers me. Not so much that they're a charity, or even a televised marthon of people failing to entertain me. Its the false excitement that everyone puts on for the whole thing.
It's like Hen nights, or office fancy dress parties. Its those without a sense of humour attempting to be zany and energetic. It brings out creatures who really should stay inside, continue watching daytime TV and over eating. "OOO look at me, Im so zany and crazy". People who SAY that shit, are doing so to compensate for a lack of personality. Personality isn't difficult. Observe a musing plucked from thin air.
"Why when you go to a club do you call it clubbing? It suggests violence and fails to deliver. Have you ever seen a club with the lights off? They're such a let down. Like some women without makeup. Lesson for the day. True value lasts, regardless of the light levels".
See? EASY. Interesting, mildly funny, and MOST importantly ORIGINAL.
Why the fuck are TV cast members trying to sing songs from the 60s about getting high? How is that going to make me donate? They keep pointing out that people don't donate while they are being entertained. I'm being bored to fucking tears, and I keep watching out of morbid curiosity. How low can this thing go. Then they throw on some reformed boyband that lacks talent, or the latest X factor wannabe. OUCH
Don't get me started on the constant cheering. TV shows clap at EVERYTHING. Have you ever tried to clap along with a tv show? Try it. It will make you want to stab seals. All this stuff is the norm, all this stuff we accept because we're used to it. Like the laughter track on comedy shows.
Middle aged, middle of the road, mildly zany, mild entertainment causes such rage in me. Dressing up makes them look FAT, struggling to say "I spent all day in custard" makes them look stupid AND FAT. Being ugly and fat on TV after sitting in custard all day makes their life pointless. Die.
There are proven ways to make money. Chances are you make more outside ASDA with a bucket than you ever will sitting in beans (Unless you have rich friends and good guilt strings). People do the sitting in beans, and then BRAG about it. "I sat in beans! Will you give me money?". Did I miss the memo, or does that make no sense whatsoever? You sat in beans, haha, you dumbass.
Hen nights should fuck off.
Why is there always ONE hot girl, and the rest ugly? Why do they use this occasion to be really "outrageous" and pinch my ass, or ask me why I have long hair. Their lives are insignificant to me. I will never see them again. They're ugly, agressivley medicore and have probably never voted. I dont want to interact with these people.
Noodles are shit. Whats the fucking point? They taste like cardboard.
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