Do you think it's bad to have sex at your age?
Well 24 is really old, but its that kind of cool old. Where the older folks think of you as smart bright young things, and kids wish they could be grown up like you. So mid 20s is about as awesome as life gets. Although they say men get happier as they get older. So who knows.
Where is your boyfriend/girlfriend at the moment?
On the Set of Desperate Housewives.
*fawn*
Were you happy when you woke up today?
Weirdly; no. I had a longing feeling, and was annoyed I missed my alarm by an hour. But then, there was £35,000 in my account. Can't complain.
Who was the last person you ate with?
Diego. Fish and veg. Surprisingly good.
Are you in a good mood?
Yeah, now I'm getting shit done.
www. sytaylor. net took me a day to do. Check out how awesome I am.
Do you want to have kids?
I want to have offspring and impart knowledge. But I don't see me changing poo stained nappies.
Have you ever watched a movie drunk?
Yeah although its not something I choose to do very often. The bottle of wine the first time I watched Layer Cake just made it more epic.
Has anyone ever told you they're in love with you?
Yeah, although when Andy Peters told me as a kid, I KNEW right there and then, something was up with that guy. It's not ok for him to be "cool" in an ironic way now. He was talking to kids down the tv spreading his gayness.
Do you believe in true love?
I believe in loving true. Anything that is true between two people is beautiful. Regardless of what others think. Loving true, means loving honestly, openly and accepting who YOU and who THEY are. No living a dream. But in beautiful reality.
Do you wear sweatpants?
No, although Im considering buying a proper gym kit.
Have you ever stolen a sign from a street?
Plenty.
What is something you'd like to have right now?
Solid travel plans. I want to/need to travel. In fact I'm gonna research it.
Are you playing hard to get right now?
Playing? I don't play, I just am annoyingly forgetful and appear arrogant.
Are you proud of the person you've become?
Yes. I created this imperfectly wonderful mess you all call Sy, and I like it. Faults and all. Believe me when I say, you wouldn't recognise me 5 years ago.
When did you last hold hands with someone?
Saturday, it was completley accidental. I accused the random girl of trying to make a pinky swear with me on the sly. Conversation ensued. It was horrible. Mainly because she'd managed to put together a HOT outfit for £30, and mine was 10x that, at least.
How good is your eyesight?
Genuinely terrible. Not only am I a bit short sighted, I have very poor depth perception. When I was younger I would REGULARLY wave at strangers... and you wonder why I had no confidence as a kid...
Would you ever want to swim with the sharks?
Dolphins mate, I swear I have an affinity with all intelligent mamals.
What would you say if I told you I was in love with your brother?
I'd say of course you are. The man is a legend. His legend spreads through many lands as the most dry witted motherfucker that ever lived. You know when you see a squirrel just stop randomly? That's a squirrel KNOWING.
When's the last time you got on an airplane?
March. The worst thing about Manchester airport is arriving there on a cold morning at 6am. It's just HORRIBLE. Although my opinion of Manchester is slowly improving as I get older.
What time did you wake up this morning?
10am, shamefully. Set the alarm for 8:30.
What are you doing this weekend?
Dark Knight on Friday with Scott/Diego/anyone else. Then Saturday its LAX at Oracle.
Are you dating anyone right now?
No, only in my head.
Have you kissed someone with braces?
No. Dear god no. I bet whoever wrote this question sent it to just one girl. At which point they slipped this question in, just to see if it was possible. Hidden amongst a load of other mundane shit. So crafty.
If you could change your eye color what would it be?
I kinda suit the darkness they have goin on. Plus very few people get to see my eyes properly.
What are you listening to?
Avenged Sevenfold - MIA
When was the last time you hugged someone?
Do man hugs count? If not then Monday, I hugged the motherbear.
Who was the last person to make you laugh?
Worlds Wackiest Sports on TMF. Its on nearly every night on freeview. You need to check out this show, its freakin funny. It's like Jackass only FUNNY.
How many 20$ bills do you have?
Technically. around 2,600
What did you do last night?
Hit the gym, then laid out in front of the TV exhausted... before time travelling into the future and seeing how things go down later this month. I liked what I saw.
Do you dance in the car?
I mosh.
Would you rather sleep at a friend's or have them over?
Have them over. This place is pretty cool. You hear that folks... MY HOUSE IS BETTER THAN YOURS. (Ok, so I rent it, it's not mine so much as it's leased, but I'm taking it because I'm disillusioned; and pretty)
Do you have a hard time admitting you're wrong?
It's hard to get me to believe I'm wrong, because most of my opinions aren't plucked out of thin air, or from youtube. But it can, and is regularly done. People I yield to regularly are the ones that understand subjects far better than me.
Wallpaper on your cell phone?
The earth from space. It looks AWESOME.
Favorite holiday?
My birth month. Also known as July, July July.... It was a lovely year, such a lovely tiiiiiime...
Do you really want to speak to someone right now?
A bunch of people yeah, stop being in different countries or at work.
Do you like to travel by plane?
YES. I NEED IT. ITS IN MY BLOOD.
Are you hiding something from someone?
I'm packing heat... in my pants. But other than that no.
Did you get enough sleep last night?
Too much, and I've noticed it makes you feel kinda shitty.
Favorite song?
Incubus - Make Yourself. The song came into my life at 17 when I really had to do exactly that, everything in my life was changing.
Who has texted you in the last 24 hrs?
Ryan, my mum, Jo & nobody else... woe is me.
Have you ever made out in a bathroom?
Gotta love the options.
Who was the last person to give you flowers?
Some random hippie type in London. Tried to force a flower on me for some peace and love based poor logic. Yes, giving ME a flower makes me want to PUNCH you, stupid hippie.
Do you find piercings attractive?
Jesus christ, and tattoos, Suicide girls ftw
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Sunday, July 06, 2008
Writing. BECAUSE I ENJOY IT
I'm writing because it feels like the right thing to do.
Although I'm eating seeds because I'm a liiiiiittle peckish.
Such are my motivations on a cloudy, lazy sunday. Also, I'd rather do anything than watch shipwrecked. It's NOT tv. There's no drama, group A fights to be more popular than group B. Film a high school, would be much more entertaining.
I turn 24 in exactly ten days. There will be cake. Wholesale, infeasibility stupid amounts of cake. Then the day after my mum is cooking me Turkey Dinosours, potato waffles and spaghetti shapes. WHAT A MEAL. Top that people, top that shit.
So I've made the decision to go the whole hog and have my hair reduced to 2005 levels of shortness. This may shock and even astound many of you who have only known me with short hair, but I always said it will change when I get bored of long. I think the accidental Dog the Bounty Hunter haircut sped the process along a little
Although I'm eating seeds because I'm a liiiiiittle peckish.
Such are my motivations on a cloudy, lazy sunday. Also, I'd rather do anything than watch shipwrecked. It's NOT tv. There's no drama, group A fights to be more popular than group B. Film a high school, would be much more entertaining.
I turn 24 in exactly ten days. There will be cake. Wholesale, infeasibility stupid amounts of cake. Then the day after my mum is cooking me Turkey Dinosours, potato waffles and spaghetti shapes. WHAT A MEAL. Top that people, top that shit.
So I've made the decision to go the whole hog and have my hair reduced to 2005 levels of shortness. This may shock and even astound many of you who have only known me with short hair, but I always said it will change when I get bored of long. I think the accidental Dog the Bounty Hunter haircut sped the process along a little
Look at that guy, he looks like Hulk Hogan without the steroids. Although in the scale of all time WERIDO's his wife takes the CAKE (spot the NLP)
All kinds of eww. Don't let her pop into your head whilst eating.
So its bye bye long hair, hello investing in a lot of smart and semi smart clothing. I've wanted a more "Zara" style wardrobe for a while now but not had the money. I had a bunch of good stuff that my dad threw out too. But opportunity knocks in the form of a BIG fat cheque.
I adore haddock.
Its such a good fish.
Good little fishy.
Supposed to be a cool band playing at HiFi tonight, may check it out if its not too sweaty. I'm ending here because my ADD is itching to do other things. Byaaaaaaaa
Monday, June 09, 2008
Download 08: Reported.
After five consecutive years doing the same festival, it was about time to do it right.
Sounds easy right?
You'd be surprised how much planning goes into doing a festival right. Getting everyone to meet before you set off at a Blockbuster car park. Hiring a van. Bringing the essentials including:
*Tent, sleeping bag, douvet & pillow and a beer holding chair
* CD Player + CDs
* Gazebo to keep the sun/rain off the BBQ
* 18 crates of beer and jagermeister pre-funnelled into plastic bottles
* Two wheeled beer carrying thing that pubs use
The journey down was traffic free, and even involved KFC. Already a good start and we're not even there yet. Download is pretty easy to find, and always horribly organised when you get there. Finding the entrance to the car park was a science itself. Once we're all nice and parked up it's time for the epic trail into the campsite. Shuffling 1 yard a minute once you get into the queue is sadly a reality of festival life, and this year so are sniffer dogs it seems. The good news is, the sniffer dogs are looking for biscuits, and otherwise inept.
For some reason Scott, Stouty and Whitley thought it would be a good idea to bring a scaled down model of the Taj Mahal for their tent. It took maybe two hours before everyone is set up and sat down with a beer in hand. The goal at this point is to get as wasted as possible.
As much as we're all there for the bands, the banter is what makes the week. This Wednesday night was a chance to renew old friendships and swap war stories... and get so blind drunk it was hard to know who and where you are. At one point that evening we were hoping "Class A" Dave would magically appear in the tent for confirmation of something. Shouting wasn't working so Stouty simply shouted something which shall not be repeated but is largely innocuous to the untrained ear.
One, two, three... four. Dave's head pops through the door
Dave proceeds to go for the full mount and punches on stouty, who is cackling away like a mad man during the whole process. He then hands a penknife to penknife.
Sounds easy right?
You'd be surprised how much planning goes into doing a festival right. Getting everyone to meet before you set off at a Blockbuster car park. Hiring a van. Bringing the essentials including:
*Tent, sleeping bag, douvet & pillow and a beer holding chair
* CD Player + CDs
* Gazebo to keep the sun/rain off the BBQ
* 18 crates of beer and jagermeister pre-funnelled into plastic bottles
* Two wheeled beer carrying thing that pubs use
DRUGS?! Who said anything about DRUGS?!
The journey down was traffic free, and even involved KFC. Already a good start and we're not even there yet. Download is pretty easy to find, and always horribly organised when you get there. Finding the entrance to the car park was a science itself. Once we're all nice and parked up it's time for the epic trail into the campsite. Shuffling 1 yard a minute once you get into the queue is sadly a reality of festival life, and this year so are sniffer dogs it seems. The good news is, the sniffer dogs are looking for biscuits, and otherwise inept.
For some reason Scott, Stouty and Whitley thought it would be a good idea to bring a scaled down model of the Taj Mahal for their tent. It took maybe two hours before everyone is set up and sat down with a beer in hand. The goal at this point is to get as wasted as possible.
As much as we're all there for the bands, the banter is what makes the week. This Wednesday night was a chance to renew old friendships and swap war stories... and get so blind drunk it was hard to know who and where you are. At one point that evening we were hoping "Class A" Dave would magically appear in the tent for confirmation of something. Shouting wasn't working so Stouty simply shouted something which shall not be repeated but is largely innocuous to the untrained ear.
One, two, three... four. Dave's head pops through the door
"You What? Time for Ground Saint Pound?"
Dave proceeds to go for the full mount and punches on stouty, who is cackling away like a mad man during the whole process. He then hands a penknife to penknife.
Thursday is Alton Towers. How better to prepare than a full english breakfast? We set off in convoy, with my car full, and everyone else in the back of the transit van scott hired. Who knew the first ride of the day would be splatted against the walls of a Transit...
Actually the first ride was Squirrel Nutty. A kids ride that didn't top 5mph. Truly an exciting experience. Reminiscent of the scene from Austin Powers where the dude gets run over by the steam roller, very slowly. That was however just a warm up for the first ride, which is an exercise in insanity. Close to the entrance of Alton Towers it never seems to get much attention, I even forgot its name. The ingenious contraption has pods of 4 seats which spin on a 360 degree axis as you are flung mercilessly around the track...
Backwards?! Nobody said anything about BACKWARDS
It quickly becomes apparent on the ascent, that backwards is indeed, part of the deal. From there the only way was up. Up to Oblivion, which took on a double significance today. The queue for Oblivion is more than a little patronising with its mini TV show thing trying to scare you. So as much as we were all giving it the big licks before the ride "Arms up all the way boys". The second that ride moves you cling onto the harness like a South American immigrant. Rita, the queen of speed is downright abusive, and Air is possibly the most doom laden ride in history. I found myself convinced 5 or more times I was going to smash into the floor.
So after being a good little consumer and spending way too much money winning over sized stuffed dogs Alton Towers had to end. It's back to the camp site to get hammered again, and relive the stories of the day. The road from the M1 south to Alton Towers is a strange country lane thing. I had a lot of fun watching Scott trying to navigate the van through winding little country lanes.
Total Torment at Download!..... YOOOU WHAT?!
The day starts with a truly epic trek to the main stage. Due to racetrack politics, and the Moto GP being next week, the main stage has been moved to China, and we have to walk there from the campsite. JOY. What's more the walk is nearly all up hill and dustier than the Sahara on a windy day. But once you're in the area, you're in, and the bands, the bands begin.
First up is Seether, a melodic happy go lucky kind of Metal band. Friendly on the ear, although they did an eerily impressive "In Bloom" cover. My memories of them are somewhat bolstered by the fact it was the first band I'd heard all week and live music sounds SO much better. Then it was due to be Kid Rock but he was "Ill". When the announcement was made, it was like the crowd had just won the lottery. A huge cheer went up. The message from Download: Don't get well soon Kid Rock. What a lovely bunch.
Next up are disturbed and Motorhead who proceed to rock the afternoon away. Both bands I have seen before, neither of whom I was particularly fussed to see. The banter at that stage was much more important, and a sleeping Aaron made for great entertainment.
That's enough frolics for one day, time for some serious business. Rise Against were playing the Tuborg stage and I was about to lose all control. I've long said that your proximity to the front of the stage directly affects your enjoyment of the show. So in arriving late I figured I would be disappointed. How wrong I was. Rise Against are amazing live, especially the vocals which sound perfect. Considering just how amazing I always thought the vocals were, I was left with a post orgasmic glow by the end of the show. Tshirt buying time. Rise Against are one of those bands that never seem to get the recognition Jimmy Eat World do, even though they do the same thing So SO much better. Bleck.
The final band of the night Kiss, are legitimate legends. They put on one hell of a show, but after Rise Against I need sleep. Two whole days of bands awaited me, and I'd already lived through an amazing experience. Did I mention it was time to get wasted again?... No? Well we did.
Is it Saturday already? How can that happen?! Alton Towers already felt like a life time ago. Especially with the hike from the camp site to the arena. Waking up sweaty after falling asleep freezing is an odd experience, one of the many unique to festivals. Saturday however had a much, much better lineup than Friday. Friday was quiet, and had one band I lost myself in. Saturday had a monster of a dilemma. Do I go see Incubus, my all time favourite band for the first time in my entire life, or do I go do the funky chicken to Pendoolum?
Honourable mention goes to Skindred who I am reliably informed rocked the house early in the morning while I was at tesco using the disabled loo for a wash. My first band of the day were 36 Crazyfists. Double kickdrums, powerful grunty verses and melodic choruses. A damn good show. The next surprise was Throwdown who sound like Pantera. I was hearing them for the first time and WILL be investing more listening time into this band. They had a rabid crowd at the front, and ponderous observers at the back. What is the solution to this conundrum you ask?
You crazy motherfuckers at the front turn around and give the pussies at the back a friendly hello
The front of the crowd gives the finger to the back. Awesome. Then it all got a little bit diabolical.. At the request of the lead singer the front and back open up; "If you don't wanna get involved, run away with your tails between your legs". Then in a scene from Braveheart on queue the front and back collide in a huge mess of jumping, bumping and moshed excitement. Wow.
Biffy Clyro were on the main stage, so I went to get my hair washed.
I caught half of Bullet for My Valentine who are ok, nothing special. I was there so I could be up front for Incubus. I ended up about 9 bodies from the front, happier than a fat kid in a cake factory.
Did Incubus roll out all my favourite songs just for me? Did they play a lot of their old stuff? Did they Jam out in the middle of songs and create something completley new, unique and amazing? FUCK YES. When you're favourite band exceeds your expectations, what more can you ask for? At this point I was thinking the day had peaked. There was no icing to this cake made of pure icing.
But there was a cherry...
I decided to get a massage because my back felt like it had been pummelled all week. I'm a self confessed raging metrosexual who is built for city life. I needed RnR. The healing "area" at the festival was really cool. Chilled out music, a bar that wasn't too busy and the pleasant whiff of Class C drugs. After which I meandered out heading for the camp site to get hammered.
So there I am strolling towards the Tuborg stage which is near the exit of the Arena, and what do I see but a big Heartagram on the stage? Well I never, I forgot HIM were playing next. Well its worth a look. I keep walking towards a non existent crowd and find myself 30 people from the front. Villè Valo appears on stage and before I know it there was a crowd behind me. Rock out with my cock out time. :D
Strolling back under a full(ish) moon to the camp site I was left with that experience of living double. Where you're happier than usual to be alive and to have experienced what you did.
Whitley, have you just done what I think you havef?
Once in a while something so funny happens you lose the ability to breathe. It began with some seemingly innocent swigs of Jagermeister. As the camp site grew rowdy on a cold Saturday night, young markus because illegible and rambling. At one point telling us "I'm gonna be at the Sunday market tomorrow, buying video games for £7". Then he tries to stand up to go for a piss. He overshoots and lands in Stoutys lap. Saucy.
Stouty then announces he is done for the night, and is off into the tent for a wank. Whitley continues to ramble with the grin of a drunken man. Until finally he falls asleep. Leaving us with a dilemma, leave him there to wake up at 5am confused and cold. Or carry him to the tent. We decide unanimously to procrastinate. A victory for decisiveness.
After a while of being silent young Whitley then starts to grin, at which point dave shouts "Whitley, have you just pissed yourself?". Cue lots of laughter, especially when the light was shone in that direction and you could see the evidence. Stouty being the male nurse was called out to help. The reply was "Do you mind, I'm trying to wank and you guys keep talking to me!!". Ckassy. Scott and Stouty have to carry Whitley back into the tent and strip him off, despite him protesting the "rape". Ahhh... Another year another mess.
Was Alton Towers really 3 days ago?
The sun rises, the tent is sweaty and people are talking outside. It must be Sunday.
The early part of the day was quite barren in terms of bands, but allowed us to check out the "village" section of the arena. Plenty of shops giving Sunday stock deals. I picked up two famous stars and straps Tshirts for £10. As well as a slipknot Hoodie, to go with the Jeans I got from Tesco. If only festival shops existed outside festivals. Good do!
Airborne are very AC/DC, and if you like that sort of thing they deliver, although they made one two many jibes about the cricket for my liking. In Flames on the main stage were exceptional. Here is a band finally getting some recognition for a 10 year career packed with incredible albums. If its possible to create beautiful brutality they do it. They do it better than anyone else.
Beautiful. Brutal.
What next, Jimmy Eat World and Lostprophets? Err NO! I came very close to buying a "Fuck Lostoprophets tshirt", but I did like their first album. So Children of Bodom it was.
Lets get one thing clear. You will not like this band. You are incapable of understanding them. They will scare you away before you realise the brilliance. That's the way I love it. They blew the roof off of the entire UK. What an incredible performance and a perfect warm up for...
Cavilera Conspiracy. Now, if you never liked Sepultura or Soulfly this won't mean much to you, but if you did. IGOR and MAX are back together. Roots, bloody roots plays out over a setting sun to a full moon. The last band of Download are bursting ear drums. What a year. What a festival. What good friends I have.
Even the shitty organisation in the car park on the way home couldn't bring me down. It took most people 3 hours to move 50 yards... We snuck out in 20 mins due to some ninja driving.
Perfect festival?... Well Leeds you got a lot to live up to, but I'm already getting excited. Until then. I've been exceptionally drunk and disorderly. Good night.
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Yawn!
Its been a long time since I've had NO money.
I could take out a loan or get a new credit card, but now isn't the time to do that at all. The last time the universe enforced this much boredom on me, having an apartment, a car and a life was all a pipe dream. So its been a good 8 years since staying in and doing absolutely nothing was part of life.
Let me make something clear. IT SUCKS. Having gotten used to being a social animal for the best part of a decade, and being capable of enjoying the fruits of having a little money I got complacent. That could be seen as a bad thing, but it's really not. I now expect a damn good quality of life, and feel annoyed, and motivated to change it when it's not there.
On July 16th I will be 24 years old, nearly a quater century. Thats a long time on the planet, but being honest I really feel that my best work is ahead of me and perhaps its time that shouldn't be the case any more. It's hard to balance massive impatience and ambition with sense and hard work.
I guess the long and short of it is, its time for the revolution to come. I'm talented in a lot of unique and marketable ways. How do I cash those in? Ideas are welcome. There are plenty of Irons in the fire, but the fire just isn't hot enough.
Thoughts welcome.
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Legitimate Breakthrough fast.
Do
I've done it. I've found it. The most monumental discovery of my entire life.
I always thought Kelloggs variety cereal packs were way too small in portions. Then it hit me, COMBINE cereals! Frosties AND coca pops all in one bowl. Let me tell you, you are not ready for how good this gets. If you happen to be addicted to heroin or bubblewrap, this could be the solution for you.
I've often thought most people can and could get into heavy metal music if they gave it a chance, because I've witnessed and watched various people do just that. Yet, I'm beginning to enjoy the barrier to its entry. Its like my secret cavern full of joys, and for some egocentric reason humanity sees rare as special. I'll take it though, its a relief from the endless repetition of mainstream music. Not that mainstream is bad, its just EVERYWHERE and too much of anything annoys.
I wish to fashion a rudimentary sailboat from paper.
Being broke and bored has driven me to be really busy with work for the past few days, and Im dying for something social. Where are you people of Leeds? Easter is quiet around these parts. Town is full of chav kids. Its so weird.
I had a dream where I got my hair cut whilst I was sleeping and I when I found out I was GUTTED. Was such a relief to wake up. Who knew, Im actually attached to the mop that sits on my head.
It struck me earlier that I look like Jesus mated with Chewbakka somehow, and that their child became a snowboarder.
Loop.
I've done it. I've found it. The most monumental discovery of my entire life.
I always thought Kelloggs variety cereal packs were way too small in portions. Then it hit me, COMBINE cereals! Frosties AND coca pops all in one bowl. Let me tell you, you are not ready for how good this gets. If you happen to be addicted to heroin or bubblewrap, this could be the solution for you.
I've often thought most people can and could get into heavy metal music if they gave it a chance, because I've witnessed and watched various people do just that. Yet, I'm beginning to enjoy the barrier to its entry. Its like my secret cavern full of joys, and for some egocentric reason humanity sees rare as special. I'll take it though, its a relief from the endless repetition of mainstream music. Not that mainstream is bad, its just EVERYWHERE and too much of anything annoys.
I wish to fashion a rudimentary sailboat from paper.
Being broke and bored has driven me to be really busy with work for the past few days, and Im dying for something social. Where are you people of Leeds? Easter is quiet around these parts. Town is full of chav kids. Its so weird.
I had a dream where I got my hair cut whilst I was sleeping and I when I found out I was GUTTED. Was such a relief to wake up. Who knew, Im actually attached to the mop that sits on my head.
It struck me earlier that I look like Jesus mated with Chewbakka somehow, and that their child became a snowboarder.
Loop.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Questions, Answers & Meaning
When were you happiest?
Hard to say, Im always pretty happy. Getting the “all clear” was pretty good, and being in the VIP areas of Vegas knowing that my life is amazing too. But often the best moments are listening to music on a train adoring the scenery, or even just looking out of the window while a breeze hits you. Life is joy.
What is your greatest fear?
Success and failure.
Earliest memory
Pushing my head against the cot at about 18 months old.
Which living person do you most admire?
Living... Hard to say. Anyone who has achieved and is happy in their life. We can learn from everyone. Whether its what to do, or what not to do.
What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
My lazyness.
What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Two faced people. The only thing required to be a friend of mine is honesty. Anyone who bitches behind my back quickly becomes a former friend.
What was your most embarrassing moment?
Meh. Who knows.
Excluding property, what's the most expensive thing that you've ever bought?
Probably my car.
What is your most treasured possession?
Life, then health. This year brought that home to me. After that my PC. Not because its amazing (and it is), but because it has all my music, films, photos and best work. It contains my ideas and is a reflection of the world I live in.
Where would you like to live?
Probably Malibu, or Miami.
What would your super power be?
Life is amazing because its a struggle. Success is only pleasurable because we have to work for it. I’m actually not sure I’d want to remove that mechanism. Although I would love the Orgasmo ray from Orgasmo. I have something similar in glove form though.
What makes you depressed?
Very few things, it has to be a pretty big build up of lots of stuff.
.
What do you most dislike about your appearance?
Right now, probably that my body still is quite where I want it, and I don’t have the budget for all the various clothing looks Id like to have. But my image is something I took years to find. Im quite happy with it.
Would you rather be clever and ugly, or thick and attractive?
Im quite happy being clever and attractive thank you. Casanova was UGLY. Appearance has nothing to do with being attractive.
Who would play you in the film of your life?
Who could play me?
What is your guiltiest pleasure?
I don’t really know. I like all of lifes pleasures and admit to them.
What is your most unappealing habit?
Some say arrogance. I say fuck them.
What is your fantasy fancy dress costume of choice?
Surfer always.
What is your current Favourite word
Constabulary. It doesn’t mean anything like what you’d expect it to. “Con” and “stab” and burly almost sounds like a crime.
What is your favourite smell?
Good question. It depends on the time of day and the mood. Early on a Sunday, bacon. Late evening on a Saturday, womenz.
What is your favourite book?
Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill. It speaks to my raw evangelical positive views of life.
What is the worst thing anyone's ever said to you?
I think it’s a good thing that I can’t remember. People can be as nasty as they like. I know who my real friends are.
Cat or dog?
Dog, every single time. Look a playful dog in the eye and tell me they are not angels of joy.
What or who is the greatest love of your life
The sheer randomness, vastness and brilliance of people and the world they inhabit. I like lots of things many people see as apposing. I love sport and I love politics. I love philosophy and materialistic, simple human pleasures. I love how there is so much to learn, I love how I feel when I understand something better. I love helping people learn. I adore affection and being affectionate. I love how life has no rules but those you make yourself. I love how as humans we are truly free. I love how anything is possible.
Is it better to give or to receive?
Such an open ended question, and a tad cliché. It depends on the situation and who’s involved. Its often better to teach someone how to provide for themselves than to just hand out. (Looky, I found secret option C)
What do you owe your parents?
I owe my mum everything. She is an example of true unconditional love and happiness. She is constantly happy to see me, and always supportive. For her I want to succeed and make her proud. I want to be remembered in history as a great person, in honour of how well my mother raised me. I am nothing but the product of an incredible upbringing, with some travel and soul searching thrown in.
.
If you could go back in time, where would you go?
The 1960s. I think its the most interesting period in human history. It was the first socially mobile generation, it saw the invention of the “teenager”. It was also the time of biggest change, the height of the cold war. I love the iconography, the music and the feel of it all.
To whom would you most like to say sorry, and why?
To anyone who was ever offended or hurt by me. It has never been my intention.
What do you consider your greatest achievement?
Being who I am. How can you encapsulate 23 years of achieving in a paragraph?
What does love feel like?
Bubblewrap. Emotionally and in terms of pure satisfaction
The best kiss of your life
The next.
Have you ever said I love you and not meant it.
Yup. Although in retrospect, I have since denounced the idea of “love” as a lifetime achievement and measuring stick of your success in society. It may sound nihilistic but "Love" as we know it was invented by advertising to sell a product. The world drops a whole load of rules on you to sell those products. Those rules don’t exist, and success comes to those who realise that
Who would you invite to your dream dinner party?
Jessica Alba and Eva Longoria (when her hair was longer). Im still pushing for that sandwich.
Which living person do you most despise and why?
I try not to despise people, but certainly their actions I can deplore. Right now I hate those who are two faced. I hate when someone is so convinced that their world view is right, that they will continue with a negative status quo to keep it, especially in the geopolitical arena.
Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
Depends on the week, I’m a MEME addict.
Biggest disappointment
Indie music. Whats the point? It’s safe, establishment pop. I wouldn’t mind if they admitted it, but they act like its so fucking edgy. It’s not at all. Hendrix would roll over in his grave, and Sid Vicious would be on stage trying to beat the shit out of the Arctic Pop Band.
If you could edit your past, what would you change
My school years were pretty boring. A typical “If I knew then what I know now”... but I wouldn’t be me then would I.
What is the worst job you’ve done?
Cleaning runny doggy poo whilst a funeral was going on downstairs.
When did you last cry and why?
When I heard the news I had the all clear. I wonder why...
How do you relax?
Stabbing cats.
How often do you have sex?
Varies greatly, but then so does my libido. I’ve gone through stages where its super regular in and out of relationships, and stages where I’m more dry. It’s not my primary motivation the majority of the time, but with that said I’m heading to Cancun Tuesday. Its one of those, the more I get, the more I want things.
What is the closest you've come to death?
Stepped out in front of a few cars and busses in my time.
What single thing would improve the quality of your life?
A solid job offer in LA.
What keeps you awake at night?
Insomnia mostly. I’m a nightcrawler with ADD.
How would you like to be remembered?
As someone who came, saw and enjoyed life. If I want to leave this world anything, it would be the understanding of the variety of subjects I enjoy. Or at least the passion to gain that understanding.
What song would you like played at your funeral
Incubus – Make yourself.
What is the most important lesson life has taught you?
If I hadn’t made me
I would have been made somehow
If I hadn’t assembled myself, I’d have fallen apart by now...
If you let them make you
They make you paper mushe
At a distance you’re strong
Until the wind comes
Then you crumble and blow away
If you let them fuck you
There will be no foreplay
Rest assured they’ll screw you complete
Turn your asshole blue and grey.
You should make amends with you
If only for better health
But if you really want to LIVE
Why not try, and make yourself
Make. Yourself.
MAKE... YOURSELF!!
Where would you most like to be right now?
On a beach in Cancun.
Tell us a joke.
No
Tell us a secret.
Do I have any? I can tell an interesting story. I once swallowed a 10p. Throwing and catching is more difficult than you would first thing when you have poor depth perception.
Hard to say, Im always pretty happy. Getting the “all clear” was pretty good, and being in the VIP areas of Vegas knowing that my life is amazing too. But often the best moments are listening to music on a train adoring the scenery, or even just looking out of the window while a breeze hits you. Life is joy.
What is your greatest fear?
Success and failure.
Earliest memory
Pushing my head against the cot at about 18 months old.
Which living person do you most admire?
Living... Hard to say. Anyone who has achieved and is happy in their life. We can learn from everyone. Whether its what to do, or what not to do.
What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
My lazyness.
What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Two faced people. The only thing required to be a friend of mine is honesty. Anyone who bitches behind my back quickly becomes a former friend.
What was your most embarrassing moment?
Meh. Who knows.
Excluding property, what's the most expensive thing that you've ever bought?
Probably my car.
What is your most treasured possession?
Life, then health. This year brought that home to me. After that my PC. Not because its amazing (and it is), but because it has all my music, films, photos and best work. It contains my ideas and is a reflection of the world I live in.
Where would you like to live?
Probably Malibu, or Miami.
What would your super power be?
Life is amazing because its a struggle. Success is only pleasurable because we have to work for it. I’m actually not sure I’d want to remove that mechanism. Although I would love the Orgasmo ray from Orgasmo. I have something similar in glove form though.
What makes you depressed?
Very few things, it has to be a pretty big build up of lots of stuff.
.
What do you most dislike about your appearance?
Right now, probably that my body still is quite where I want it, and I don’t have the budget for all the various clothing looks Id like to have. But my image is something I took years to find. Im quite happy with it.
Would you rather be clever and ugly, or thick and attractive?
Im quite happy being clever and attractive thank you. Casanova was UGLY. Appearance has nothing to do with being attractive.
Who would play you in the film of your life?
Who could play me?
What is your guiltiest pleasure?
I don’t really know. I like all of lifes pleasures and admit to them.
What is your most unappealing habit?
Some say arrogance. I say fuck them.
What is your fantasy fancy dress costume of choice?
Surfer always.
What is your current Favourite word
Constabulary. It doesn’t mean anything like what you’d expect it to. “Con” and “stab” and burly almost sounds like a crime.
What is your favourite smell?
Good question. It depends on the time of day and the mood. Early on a Sunday, bacon. Late evening on a Saturday, womenz.
What is your favourite book?
Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill. It speaks to my raw evangelical positive views of life.
What is the worst thing anyone's ever said to you?
I think it’s a good thing that I can’t remember. People can be as nasty as they like. I know who my real friends are.
Cat or dog?
Dog, every single time. Look a playful dog in the eye and tell me they are not angels of joy.
What or who is the greatest love of your life
The sheer randomness, vastness and brilliance of people and the world they inhabit. I like lots of things many people see as apposing. I love sport and I love politics. I love philosophy and materialistic, simple human pleasures. I love how there is so much to learn, I love how I feel when I understand something better. I love helping people learn. I adore affection and being affectionate. I love how life has no rules but those you make yourself. I love how as humans we are truly free. I love how anything is possible.
Is it better to give or to receive?
Such an open ended question, and a tad cliché. It depends on the situation and who’s involved. Its often better to teach someone how to provide for themselves than to just hand out. (Looky, I found secret option C)
What do you owe your parents?
I owe my mum everything. She is an example of true unconditional love and happiness. She is constantly happy to see me, and always supportive. For her I want to succeed and make her proud. I want to be remembered in history as a great person, in honour of how well my mother raised me. I am nothing but the product of an incredible upbringing, with some travel and soul searching thrown in.
.
If you could go back in time, where would you go?
The 1960s. I think its the most interesting period in human history. It was the first socially mobile generation, it saw the invention of the “teenager”. It was also the time of biggest change, the height of the cold war. I love the iconography, the music and the feel of it all.
To whom would you most like to say sorry, and why?
To anyone who was ever offended or hurt by me. It has never been my intention.
What do you consider your greatest achievement?
Being who I am. How can you encapsulate 23 years of achieving in a paragraph?
What does love feel like?
Bubblewrap. Emotionally and in terms of pure satisfaction
The best kiss of your life
The next.
Have you ever said I love you and not meant it.
Yup. Although in retrospect, I have since denounced the idea of “love” as a lifetime achievement and measuring stick of your success in society. It may sound nihilistic but "Love" as we know it was invented by advertising to sell a product. The world drops a whole load of rules on you to sell those products. Those rules don’t exist, and success comes to those who realise that
Who would you invite to your dream dinner party?
Jessica Alba and Eva Longoria (when her hair was longer). Im still pushing for that sandwich.
Which living person do you most despise and why?
I try not to despise people, but certainly their actions I can deplore. Right now I hate those who are two faced. I hate when someone is so convinced that their world view is right, that they will continue with a negative status quo to keep it, especially in the geopolitical arena.
Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
Depends on the week, I’m a MEME addict.
Biggest disappointment
Indie music. Whats the point? It’s safe, establishment pop. I wouldn’t mind if they admitted it, but they act like its so fucking edgy. It’s not at all. Hendrix would roll over in his grave, and Sid Vicious would be on stage trying to beat the shit out of the Arctic Pop Band.
If you could edit your past, what would you change
My school years were pretty boring. A typical “If I knew then what I know now”... but I wouldn’t be me then would I.
What is the worst job you’ve done?
Cleaning runny doggy poo whilst a funeral was going on downstairs.
When did you last cry and why?
When I heard the news I had the all clear. I wonder why...
How do you relax?
Stabbing cats.
How often do you have sex?
Varies greatly, but then so does my libido. I’ve gone through stages where its super regular in and out of relationships, and stages where I’m more dry. It’s not my primary motivation the majority of the time, but with that said I’m heading to Cancun Tuesday. Its one of those, the more I get, the more I want things.
What is the closest you've come to death?
Stepped out in front of a few cars and busses in my time.
What single thing would improve the quality of your life?
A solid job offer in LA.
What keeps you awake at night?
Insomnia mostly. I’m a nightcrawler with ADD.
How would you like to be remembered?
As someone who came, saw and enjoyed life. If I want to leave this world anything, it would be the understanding of the variety of subjects I enjoy. Or at least the passion to gain that understanding.
What song would you like played at your funeral
Incubus – Make yourself.
What is the most important lesson life has taught you?
If I hadn’t made me
I would have been made somehow
If I hadn’t assembled myself, I’d have fallen apart by now...
If you let them make you
They make you paper mushe
At a distance you’re strong
Until the wind comes
Then you crumble and blow away
If you let them fuck you
There will be no foreplay
Rest assured they’ll screw you complete
Turn your asshole blue and grey.
You should make amends with you
If only for better health
But if you really want to LIVE
Why not try, and make yourself
Make. Yourself.
MAKE... YOURSELF!!
Where would you most like to be right now?
On a beach in Cancun.
Tell us a joke.
No
Tell us a secret.
Do I have any? I can tell an interesting story. I once swallowed a 10p. Throwing and catching is more difficult than you would first thing when you have poor depth perception.
Sunday, March 02, 2008
Me? Yeah Im a long way from Perfect.
But I don't mind. In fact I like it.
What follows is a poorly constructed un-edited rant, even by my own standards. I'm only doing so because in writing down my thoughts, I understand them better.
First off, Bullet for My Valentine's new album is immense. Its immense, despite sounding annoying from a distance. It's kinda like how people hate Russell Brand until they realise the man is a genius. The album has become my soundtrack to getting back into the gym after the good news of being all clear.
This payday I spent nearly £150 on new clothes, rediscovered some old clothes and booked a hotel in Cancun for spring break. By all accounts thats a damn good pay day. It will mean I'll be a hermit when I get back from Cancun but I really don't care. I feel like I've come home, and I've been gone for far too long. I never went anywhere, and resented when people said I wasn't my usual self.
Lesson learned, people saying "You changed" has the biggest impact, because no matter how much you put your head down and barrel through eventually you start to buy into it and live up to it. For the longest time I thought the lesson to draw from having Cancer was to be humble, but I actually realised it was the opposite. I was never supposed to be humble. I am the kind of guy that is supposed to shoot for the stars. I know that sounds arrogant, and in a way it is. I am divisive and I rub people the wrong way. It's never my intention, and not something I hope to do but I'm realising its ok to be me again. I know my intention and I know my heart.
It hit home Saturday when I went to my office. I haven't really been to the office on a regular basis since early 2006. Nearly two years. Looking around at my notepad, and in my desk drawer reminded me of the levels of success I had reached by 21 and who I am.
In a strange way its taken me two years to come full circle. I rebuilt myself, but in a completley different image to what I thought I was building. Only now is the impact of what happened in Vegas really hitting home. When I'm surrounded by like minded people I am at ease and ultra capable... but I was traditionally always best when I was doubted. Recently that changed. When I was doubted it made me rebel with inaction, rather than action.
So a pattern has emerged, those who stick with me through thick and thin, and the fickle who sling mud. The difference? Those who stick with me and will know me in 10 years are those who will criticize me to my face. I thank these people. Its now time for me to start paying off the investment of time and energy. I have a lot of travelling, thinking and innovating to do.
Who's up for some big ideas?
Being back in the gym, putting effort in at work and generally being my CONFIDENT self is the way forward. I'm not sorry to those who don't like that.
I tried to drain the sickness of others and drained my own spirit instead. My spirit is back and I feel galvanised. The miracle has hit, I'm waiting for the opportunity, I stare straight into the sun, and I won't close my eyes until I understand; or go blind.
What follows is a poorly constructed un-edited rant, even by my own standards. I'm only doing so because in writing down my thoughts, I understand them better.
First off, Bullet for My Valentine's new album is immense. Its immense, despite sounding annoying from a distance. It's kinda like how people hate Russell Brand until they realise the man is a genius. The album has become my soundtrack to getting back into the gym after the good news of being all clear.
This payday I spent nearly £150 on new clothes, rediscovered some old clothes and booked a hotel in Cancun for spring break. By all accounts thats a damn good pay day. It will mean I'll be a hermit when I get back from Cancun but I really don't care. I feel like I've come home, and I've been gone for far too long. I never went anywhere, and resented when people said I wasn't my usual self.
Lesson learned, people saying "You changed" has the biggest impact, because no matter how much you put your head down and barrel through eventually you start to buy into it and live up to it. For the longest time I thought the lesson to draw from having Cancer was to be humble, but I actually realised it was the opposite. I was never supposed to be humble. I am the kind of guy that is supposed to shoot for the stars. I know that sounds arrogant, and in a way it is. I am divisive and I rub people the wrong way. It's never my intention, and not something I hope to do but I'm realising its ok to be me again. I know my intention and I know my heart.
It hit home Saturday when I went to my office. I haven't really been to the office on a regular basis since early 2006. Nearly two years. Looking around at my notepad, and in my desk drawer reminded me of the levels of success I had reached by 21 and who I am.
In a strange way its taken me two years to come full circle. I rebuilt myself, but in a completley different image to what I thought I was building. Only now is the impact of what happened in Vegas really hitting home. When I'm surrounded by like minded people I am at ease and ultra capable... but I was traditionally always best when I was doubted. Recently that changed. When I was doubted it made me rebel with inaction, rather than action.
So a pattern has emerged, those who stick with me through thick and thin, and the fickle who sling mud. The difference? Those who stick with me and will know me in 10 years are those who will criticize me to my face. I thank these people. Its now time for me to start paying off the investment of time and energy. I have a lot of travelling, thinking and innovating to do.
Who's up for some big ideas?
Being back in the gym, putting effort in at work and generally being my CONFIDENT self is the way forward. I'm not sorry to those who don't like that.
I tried to drain the sickness of others and drained my own spirit instead. My spirit is back and I feel galvanised. The miracle has hit, I'm waiting for the opportunity, I stare straight into the sun, and I won't close my eyes until I understand; or go blind.
How will I know limits from lies
If I never try?
There no promise of saftey
With these second hand wings
But Im willing to find out
What impossible means
Fly to the heavens
On feathers and dreams
Because the melting point of wax means nothing to me
Nothing to me!
Nothing to me!
I will touch the sun
Or I will die trying
Monday, February 11, 2008
An Interesting Scrubs Episode
I know what you're thinking, this note brought to you by "A cold day in Hell" and featuring the "Flying Pigs quartet". Normally I despise Scrubs, its there with Jo Whiley as one of those things that seems incomprehensible and yet popular. It lacks humour, it has the worst lead actor in history and rolls around in its own shitness.
So yes I despise it.
But todays second episode on E4 was different. JD and Elliot despite their "will they wont they" love affair, just randomly started having sex. They were friends during the day, and when they went home, occasionally they'd fuck. It made them both calmer and happier people.
Then the typical Scrubs "We're trying to be Friends" bit hits, and they break it off for no good reason but the point stuck. Sex is prescribed as a cure for a whole list of ailments including wrinkles, stress, endurance...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/4703166.stm
With Valentines coming up, could sex be the answer (Or just Sex Panther)?? Or avoiding sex pests.
Yes the last one.
So yes I despise it.
But todays second episode on E4 was different. JD and Elliot despite their "will they wont they" love affair, just randomly started having sex. They were friends during the day, and when they went home, occasionally they'd fuck. It made them both calmer and happier people.
Then the typical Scrubs "We're trying to be Friends" bit hits, and they break it off for no good reason but the point stuck. Sex is prescribed as a cure for a whole list of ailments including wrinkles, stress, endurance...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi
With Valentines coming up, could sex be the answer (Or just Sex Panther)?? Or avoiding sex pests.
Yes the last one.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Why I couldn't sleep
I went to the doctors earlier today, and I knew they were going to tell me off for having missed appointments over christmas (I was ill), and then re-arranging one to go to Vegas. I still went there quite confident my recent pains were the remains of infection that just WONT go away.
My reasoning is this, The pain got worse after I stopped antibiotics, it hit me on a flight to Vegas, and gave me upset stomach and gurgling. A few days later it subsided. So I get to the oncology ward, my usual bouncy quite happy self, and they make me wait JUUUUUUST long enough to be bored and not quite so happy.
I head in, and get said bollocking, and they mention the sample they took of my wee had no sign of infection. My first though is why would it? The infection isn't in my bladder... but then surely and infection infects all of you?... But then I was on the antibiotics at the time I gave the sample.
Anyways, all this stuff is swirling around my head instead of sleep. That and discomfort in the lower abdomen and around sensitive parts. I'm writing this out to hope maybe it will leave my head. But how are you supposed to sleep when all you can think is "what if?"
What if I have to shave my head?
What if it spreads to the other ball, no kids?
The worst part about it all is I just want to curl up and hug.
I dont get like this often, I mean its SUPER rare. Normally I want to be the life of the party, and Ive been especially horny and outgoing lately too.
I'm scared. I admit it. Its 4am and I cant sleep.
I wonder whats on BBC news 24.
(Edit, Jan 09: What was interesting about this blog was who didn't respond to it)
My reasoning is this, The pain got worse after I stopped antibiotics, it hit me on a flight to Vegas, and gave me upset stomach and gurgling. A few days later it subsided. So I get to the oncology ward, my usual bouncy quite happy self, and they make me wait JUUUUUUST long enough to be bored and not quite so happy.
I head in, and get said bollocking, and they mention the sample they took of my wee had no sign of infection. My first though is why would it? The infection isn't in my bladder... but then surely and infection infects all of you?... But then I was on the antibiotics at the time I gave the sample.
Anyways, all this stuff is swirling around my head instead of sleep. That and discomfort in the lower abdomen and around sensitive parts. I'm writing this out to hope maybe it will leave my head. But how are you supposed to sleep when all you can think is "what if?"
What if I have to shave my head?
What if it spreads to the other ball, no kids?
The worst part about it all is I just want to curl up and hug.
I dont get like this often, I mean its SUPER rare. Normally I want to be the life of the party, and Ive been especially horny and outgoing lately too.
I'm scared. I admit it. Its 4am and I cant sleep.
I wonder whats on BBC news 24.
(Edit, Jan 09: What was interesting about this blog was who didn't respond to it)
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
Questionaire 2.
1. Who was the last person to call you babe?
I fucking hate that word. So probably Ryan, after I told him under no circumstances is he allowed to do so.
2. When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart?
No I leave it by my car, or occasionally get a few and race around the car park. Not done that in too long.
3. If you had to kiss the last person you kissed, would you?
Yeah, I tend not to kiss idiots or people I don't like. That would just be silly. Although the last thing I kissed was a dog (ON THE HEAD on account of the cuteness). Don't go getting weird ideas. Weirdo.
4. Has someone ever sang a song to you?
Plenty of bands have, and I'm under no illusion the rest of the crowd thought it was for them too... but I KNOW it was for me. Such is the joy of narcissism.
5. Do you play Sudoku?
It sounds like a martial art for coronation street cast members... but no. I like to try and fit amusing words into the gaps and then leave them on trains... Like I thought it was a crossword and fucked up.
6. If abandoned alone in the wilderness would you survive?
Define wilderness. If you dropped me in the sahara desert with no water I'd be screwed, but in Woods a couple of miles from the A1, shouldn't be too hard to find a petrol station and steal a mars bar.
7. Have you danced in the rain?
What a stupid thing to do. Why? Why would you?
8. Would you consider yourself a jock/prep/goth/emo/gangster?
skater-jock-prep-goth-emo-gangster... about covers it actually
9. Ever been to the beach?
Which beach? I've been to "A" beach, in fact many beaches.
10. Do you like cheese?
It really depends. Its a temperamental sod. I mean sometimes its really rewarding, and adds to nearly any meal, but then there is the really sweaty stuff. I just don't get it. You blue stilton eaters are wrong. WRONG AND SICK
11. Have you ever been to the emergency room?
Yeah, I... I swallowed a 10p.... :(
12. Do you like hot or cold weather more?
hot, no cold... no... hot... Hot climate, plenty of air con. Win.
13. How many different kinds of meat have you eaten?
Veal, Pork, Duck, Lamb, Beef, Chicken, Turkey... Any more?
14. Do you pass gas and blame it on others?
The king does not pass gas, he enjoys it.
15. Do you like winter?
He's alright. Keeps leaving the toilet seat covered in piss though. Nob.
16. Have you wiped a booger under your desk?
Not under MY desk, but plenty of other desks
17. Do you have a secret crush?
Nope, in fact, if you're female and attractive, available (and not a nob), I probably want sex with you.
18. If your house was on fire, what would be the first thing you would do?
Unplug my pc, grab it and run. Yes really, but I live in an apartment block with sprinklers.
19. Would you get plastic surgery?
No, Im hawt. Metal surgery sounds interesting though.
20. Who do you text the most?
Facebook. Seriously.
21. What color are your eyes?
BLOOD RED
22. How tall are you?
7'9 and a third
23. Do you wish you had smaller feet?
No, why on earth would I want smaller feet? I kinda like the size 11 thing I got going on.
24. Has a rumor been spread about you?
Probably, I'm divisive, and really really beardy
25. Have you written a secret admirer letter?
When I was 11. Becky Cawthra, and the bitch did nothing about it. I made an interesting rhyme and everything. Little did I know grovelling love letters only work if you wear a suit and appear in Marks and Spencer adverts.
26. Ever fallen for your best friend?
My best friend is a dude. So no.
27. Age you lost your virginity?
I'm dying to say 7, and to a carrot in the ass... but 16
28. Would you pretend to like something to please your partner?
Thats a very dodgy question. I wouldn't go for the gimp mask shit. Im too naturally dominant for that.
29. Favorite Ex?
Laus, without question. We're still good friends.
30. Are you insecure about your weight?
Its a bit low by my standards, but Im hitting the gym more. I'll be back at 14 and a half stone before long
31. Ever had a sexual fantasy?
Im getting hornier as I get older. Its like my body went "well they took a testicle, lets spread that damn DNA"
32. Would you rather give or recieve?
Give, its not gay if you give it... Scott says...
33. Do you prefer to sleep or eat?
Eat, fall asleep, wake up, and eat again
34. Do you look like your mom or dad?
My uncle. YEAH, didnt see secret option 3 comin did you? HAaaa
35. How long does it take you in the shower?
Depends if Im washing my hair or having a wank, or both.
36. Do you watch reality tv?
Sports I guess counts. Id love to be on reality tv as an audience member just giving them shit.
37. What movie do you want to see right now?
The Life of David Gale. It rocks
38. Do you illegally burn music?
Technically yes, although its a grey area.
39. What did you do for New Years Eve?
Watched American Dad with Cat (and got SPLURGED), then went out with Ry, Annie, Sarah and Noreen... then a hamster showed up with Inspector Pook.
40. Do you think The Grudge was crappy?
Not as shit as this quiz. Who writes these questions?
41. Last sporting event attended?
Naked mud wrestling fat americans trying to screw their livestock.
42. Have you been to an IMAX theater?
Yes. Its all floaty and weird. I love it. Can you imagine IMAX porn?
43. Was your mom a cheerleader?
No but she's about 5'6 blonde and pretty... My mom rocks.
44. Were you a planned pregnancy for your parents?
Not at all, I was a pill that wasn't taken or "miracle birth" :p
45. What is your middle name?
SlicedForeskin
46. How old was your mom when she gave birth to you?
22, she was younger than I am now.
47. How many hours of sleep do you get a night?
10 hours + on average.
48. Last time you had sex?
Couple of weeks.
49. What do you buy at the Movies?
Pic n Mix and minstrels. I never finish either and end up throwing them away.
50. Do you know how to play poker?
Reasonably well yeah. Its a button on facebook that you press.
51. Do you wear your seatbelt?
Who's gonna say no to this question? Was this questionnaire made in the late 80s?
52. What do you wear to sleep??
Boxer Shorts, or a Ronald McDonald thong.
53. Anything big ever happen in your town?
ME. I was all like in that place, and then I LEFT YO. Straight up.
54. Is your hair straight or curly?
Big, until I make it little, with my magic hot wand ear pain.
55. Is your tongue pierced?
Some would say forked
56. Do you like Liver and Onions?
My liver is quite cool since it keeps me alive, but I only have one onion :(
57. What is your favorite sushi?
The kind that GETS THE HELL AWAY FROM ME
58. Do you like funny or serious people better?
People who dont take themselves too seriously until they absolutely have to.
59. Ever been to Hollywood?
Not yet. I would be spotted and made a millionaire (Its called the american dream and Im allowed to have it)
60. Who is on your mind right now?
Johnny Soporno and his slowness to reply. I wanna go to vegas
61. Any plans for tonight?
Its 1am and Im watching basketball. Do the math.
62. Last party attended?
The Pants Party
63. Do you hate chocolate?
Who writes this shit pt3. Who hates chocolate? And do they hate babies too? Babies are kinda shit though. They don't do anything but make a mess, and for what? A cute girgle and a smile. You can get that at an old folks home.
64. What do you and your parents fight about the most?
Oil
65. Are you a gullible person?
Not terribly. I got april fooled once maybe
66. Ever go to a theme or costume party?
I go to plenty, as me.
67. If you could have any job what would it be?
Blow
68. Are you easy to get along with?
On a basic level yes. But if you mention saving the planet Im liable to heatbutt you.
69. What is your favorite time of day?
NIGHT. WOOOOOOOOO!
70. Are you a generally happy person?
Pretty much.
I fucking hate that word. So probably Ryan, after I told him under no circumstances is he allowed to do so.
2. When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart?
No I leave it by my car, or occasionally get a few and race around the car park. Not done that in too long.
3. If you had to kiss the last person you kissed, would you?
Yeah, I tend not to kiss idiots or people I don't like. That would just be silly. Although the last thing I kissed was a dog (ON THE HEAD on account of the cuteness). Don't go getting weird ideas. Weirdo.
4. Has someone ever sang a song to you?
Plenty of bands have, and I'm under no illusion the rest of the crowd thought it was for them too... but I KNOW it was for me. Such is the joy of narcissism.
5. Do you play Sudoku?
It sounds like a martial art for coronation street cast members... but no. I like to try and fit amusing words into the gaps and then leave them on trains... Like I thought it was a crossword and fucked up.
6. If abandoned alone in the wilderness would you survive?
Define wilderness. If you dropped me in the sahara desert with no water I'd be screwed, but in Woods a couple of miles from the A1, shouldn't be too hard to find a petrol station and steal a mars bar.
7. Have you danced in the rain?
What a stupid thing to do. Why? Why would you?
8. Would you consider yourself a jock/prep/goth/emo/gangste
skater-jock-prep-goth-emo-
9. Ever been to the beach?
Which beach? I've been to "A" beach, in fact many beaches.
10. Do you like cheese?
It really depends. Its a temperamental sod. I mean sometimes its really rewarding, and adds to nearly any meal, but then there is the really sweaty stuff. I just don't get it. You blue stilton eaters are wrong. WRONG AND SICK
11. Have you ever been to the emergency room?
Yeah, I... I swallowed a 10p.... :(
12. Do you like hot or cold weather more?
hot, no cold... no... hot... Hot climate, plenty of air con. Win.
13. How many different kinds of meat have you eaten?
Veal, Pork, Duck, Lamb, Beef, Chicken, Turkey... Any more?
14. Do you pass gas and blame it on others?
The king does not pass gas, he enjoys it.
15. Do you like winter?
He's alright. Keeps leaving the toilet seat covered in piss though. Nob.
16. Have you wiped a booger under your desk?
Not under MY desk, but plenty of other desks
17. Do you have a secret crush?
Nope, in fact, if you're female and attractive, available (and not a nob), I probably want sex with you.
18. If your house was on fire, what would be the first thing you would do?
Unplug my pc, grab it and run. Yes really, but I live in an apartment block with sprinklers.
19. Would you get plastic surgery?
No, Im hawt. Metal surgery sounds interesting though.
20. Who do you text the most?
Facebook. Seriously.
21. What color are your eyes?
BLOOD RED
22. How tall are you?
7'9 and a third
23. Do you wish you had smaller feet?
No, why on earth would I want smaller feet? I kinda like the size 11 thing I got going on.
24. Has a rumor been spread about you?
Probably, I'm divisive, and really really beardy
25. Have you written a secret admirer letter?
When I was 11. Becky Cawthra, and the bitch did nothing about it. I made an interesting rhyme and everything. Little did I know grovelling love letters only work if you wear a suit and appear in Marks and Spencer adverts.
26. Ever fallen for your best friend?
My best friend is a dude. So no.
27. Age you lost your virginity?
I'm dying to say 7, and to a carrot in the ass... but 16
28. Would you pretend to like something to please your partner?
Thats a very dodgy question. I wouldn't go for the gimp mask shit. Im too naturally dominant for that.
29. Favorite Ex?
Laus, without question. We're still good friends.
30. Are you insecure about your weight?
Its a bit low by my standards, but Im hitting the gym more. I'll be back at 14 and a half stone before long
31. Ever had a sexual fantasy?
Im getting hornier as I get older. Its like my body went "well they took a testicle, lets spread that damn DNA"
32. Would you rather give or recieve?
Give, its not gay if you give it... Scott says...
33. Do you prefer to sleep or eat?
Eat, fall asleep, wake up, and eat again
34. Do you look like your mom or dad?
My uncle. YEAH, didnt see secret option 3 comin did you? HAaaa
35. How long does it take you in the shower?
Depends if Im washing my hair or having a wank, or both.
36. Do you watch reality tv?
Sports I guess counts. Id love to be on reality tv as an audience member just giving them shit.
37. What movie do you want to see right now?
The Life of David Gale. It rocks
38. Do you illegally burn music?
Technically yes, although its a grey area.
39. What did you do for New Years Eve?
Watched American Dad with Cat (and got SPLURGED), then went out with Ry, Annie, Sarah and Noreen... then a hamster showed up with Inspector Pook.
40. Do you think The Grudge was crappy?
Not as shit as this quiz. Who writes these questions?
41. Last sporting event attended?
Naked mud wrestling fat americans trying to screw their livestock.
42. Have you been to an IMAX theater?
Yes. Its all floaty and weird. I love it. Can you imagine IMAX porn?
43. Was your mom a cheerleader?
No but she's about 5'6 blonde and pretty... My mom rocks.
44. Were you a planned pregnancy for your parents?
Not at all, I was a pill that wasn't taken or "miracle birth" :p
45. What is your middle name?
SlicedForeskin
46. How old was your mom when she gave birth to you?
22, she was younger than I am now.
47. How many hours of sleep do you get a night?
10 hours + on average.
48. Last time you had sex?
Couple of weeks.
49. What do you buy at the Movies?
Pic n Mix and minstrels. I never finish either and end up throwing them away.
50. Do you know how to play poker?
Reasonably well yeah. Its a button on facebook that you press.
51. Do you wear your seatbelt?
Who's gonna say no to this question? Was this questionnaire made in the late 80s?
52. What do you wear to sleep??
Boxer Shorts, or a Ronald McDonald thong.
53. Anything big ever happen in your town?
ME. I was all like in that place, and then I LEFT YO. Straight up.
54. Is your hair straight or curly?
Big, until I make it little, with my magic hot wand ear pain.
55. Is your tongue pierced?
Some would say forked
56. Do you like Liver and Onions?
My liver is quite cool since it keeps me alive, but I only have one onion :(
57. What is your favorite sushi?
The kind that GETS THE HELL AWAY FROM ME
58. Do you like funny or serious people better?
People who dont take themselves too seriously until they absolutely have to.
59. Ever been to Hollywood?
Not yet. I would be spotted and made a millionaire (Its called the american dream and Im allowed to have it)
60. Who is on your mind right now?
Johnny Soporno and his slowness to reply. I wanna go to vegas
61. Any plans for tonight?
Its 1am and Im watching basketball. Do the math.
62. Last party attended?
The Pants Party
63. Do you hate chocolate?
Who writes this shit pt3. Who hates chocolate? And do they hate babies too? Babies are kinda shit though. They don't do anything but make a mess, and for what? A cute girgle and a smile. You can get that at an old folks home.
64. What do you and your parents fight about the most?
Oil
65. Are you a gullible person?
Not terribly. I got april fooled once maybe
66. Ever go to a theme or costume party?
I go to plenty, as me.
67. If you could have any job what would it be?
Blow
68. Are you easy to get along with?
On a basic level yes. But if you mention saving the planet Im liable to heatbutt you.
69. What is your favorite time of day?
NIGHT. WOOOOOOOOO!
70. Are you a generally happy person?
Pretty much.
Monday, January 07, 2008
The Value of Wisdom
If life was a question, the answer would be your eulogy, or at least how you are remembered. So the question is, how will you be remembered and who will be doing the remembering?
Everybody wants and respects wisdom. Those big sentences that give us the "Oh shit" moment and make everything seem so simple. Those are the sentences most wish they could produce.
Yet just like those who live in hot climates long to see snow, and those who live in the cold long for the sun... Wisdom and Learning are two very different things. Wisdom, or more accurately the illusion of wisdom can be constructed from an advanced vocabulary and some lateral thinking.
I find it very easy to out argue somebody, or better articulate their thoughts. In a strange way I can get to the very route of understanding... and you'd think this would be all a person ever needs, and often for other people a good listener is all they need to be content. If only my life were so simple :p
What use are answers without questions? If you remember at school when the teacher gave you questions and answers, you always had to write the question? I would always discard the question and just write the answer. I appear to be wired for thinking that way and here's how it can be bad.
1) Dogs
2) Insight
3) banana's
4) Probably Greece
5) Alan Carr
6) Twice a week on average
The above are all the answers to some quite interesting questions. Yet standing alone they are utterly useless. They could be about anything, and it would take some pretty good guess work to figure out what they mean.
How about another example. If you ever cheated and looked at the answers to fill in the crossword, notice how the enjoyment is destroyed. If you ever used a guide to a video game, its nowhere near as fun. We love to discover, its hard-wired.
In effect, having all the answers is USELESS.
In a conversation, or debate if one person starts with a very well rounded and articulate statement covering a lot of possible comebacks, the debate is stifled and the joy is gone. Whenever we are given an answer, we don't like it that much.
So when we have a friend who can help us express ourselves, we find it intoxicating. Instead of cheating, we are forced to articulate our own thoughts and learn something about ourselves. Communication is one of the joys of living. Not having the answer, but travelling to it WITH OTHERS.
So with several paragraphs of qualification I'm about to make a bold statement. I have always being accused of being a smart arse, of having all the answers. I've realised that yes, that's actually true.
I have a nose for an answer and I will instinctively find it. Of course as I've established that's of no real use to me, beyond a discipline mechanism. I still have to learn and experience things just like anyone else, I just happen to be really good at knowing what to do. Whether I do it or not is a different matter all together, and where I require my friends. Like the guy in the hot climate begging for snow, I need people who challenge and interest me. People who can put up with my shit. The combination of challenge and strong desire to live life to the fullest is an excellent recipe to ensure someone will be close to me.
Whenever you have an epiphany the temptation is to shout it from the rooftops, it creates a rush of mania that is addictive and evangelical. I've come to learn that far smarter people than I have had all the epiphanies I have, and articulated them far better. It's interesting just how wise figures from history that are well known can be.
The issue isn't that this knowledge doesn't exist. All your answers are out there... It's that they have to be tied up into what we call a lifetime. It's at this point you stop seeing the answer as the goal. The answer alone is useless. It's how you get there and who with.
If life was a question, the answer would be your funeral, or at least how you are remembered. So the question is, how will you be remembered and who will be doing the remembering?
Everybody wants and respects wisdom. Those big sentences that give us the "Oh shit" moment and make everything seem so simple. Those are the sentences most wish they could produce.
Yet just like those who live in hot climates long to see snow, and those who live in the cold long for the sun... Wisdom and Learning are two very different things. Wisdom, or more accurately the illusion of wisdom can be constructed from an advanced vocabulary and some lateral thinking.
I find it very easy to out argue somebody, or better articulate their thoughts. In a strange way I can get to the very route of understanding... and you'd think this would be all a person ever needs, and often for other people a good listener is all they need to be content. If only my life were so simple :p
What use are answers without questions? If you remember at school when the teacher gave you questions and answers, you always had to write the question? I would always discard the question and just write the answer. I appear to be wired for thinking that way and here's how it can be bad.
1) Dogs
2) Insight
3) banana's
4) Probably Greece
5) Alan Carr
6) Twice a week on average
The above are all the answers to some quite interesting questions. Yet standing alone they are utterly useless. They could be about anything, and it would take some pretty good guess work to figure out what they mean.
How about another example. If you ever cheated and looked at the answers to fill in the crossword, notice how the enjoyment is destroyed. If you ever used a guide to a video game, its nowhere near as fun. We love to discover, its hard-wired.
In effect, having all the answers is USELESS.
In a conversation, or debate if one person starts with a very well rounded and articulate statement covering a lot of possible comebacks, the debate is stifled and the joy is gone. Whenever we are given an answer, we don't like it that much.
So when we have a friend who can help us express ourselves, we find it intoxicating. Instead of cheating, we are forced to articulate our own thoughts and learn something about ourselves. Communication is one of the joys of living. Not having the answer, but travelling to it WITH OTHERS.
So with several paragraphs of qualification I'm about to make a bold statement. I have always being accused of being a smart arse, of having all the answers. I've realised that yes, that's actually true.
I have a nose for an answer and I will instinctively find it. Of course as I've established that's of no real use to me, beyond a discipline mechanism. I still have to learn and experience things just like anyone else, I just happen to be really good at knowing what to do. Whether I do it or not is a different matter all together, and where I require my friends. Like the guy in the hot climate begging for snow, I need people who challenge and interest me. People who can put up with my shit. The combination of challenge and strong desire to live life to the fullest is an excellent recipe to ensure someone will be close to me.
Whenever you have an epiphany the temptation is to shout it from the rooftops, it creates a rush of mania that is addictive and evangelical. I've come to learn that far smarter people than I have had all the epiphanies I have, and articulated them far better. It's interesting just how wise figures from history that are well known can be.
The issue isn't that this knowledge doesn't exist. All your answers are out there... It's that they have to be tied up into what we call a lifetime. It's at this point you stop seeing the answer as the goal. The answer alone is useless. It's how you get there and who with.
If life was a question, the answer would be your funeral, or at least how you are remembered. So the question is, how will you be remembered and who will be doing the remembering?
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Passion of the Sy: Music
Everyone likes music. Wait, I''l rephrase, everyone likes certain sounds that follow a mathematically interesting pattern. The difference between the two is passion. Passion and enjoyment are often mistaken for each other. Time for a little defintion.
Enjoyment is a lighthearted cheeky wank of a word. Often without the mess, unless it involves Ice Cream. Interestingly though the way most people appear to enjoy music is on a similar level to the way we all like Ice Cream. Enjoyment is an indulgence we either opt for, or happen upon and consume. As a species we are consumers of enjoyment. Enjoyment however is a fickle short term emotion, lasting roughly 3 minutes on average (Studies from Arcade machines, Pop Song producers and commercial advertisers show as much).
To really be involved in life we need Passion. Passion is the difference between existing and living.
Passion has a tendency to be all consuming. Passion is hard to reign in. Passion can be too much to take, and therin lies its beauty and magnificence. Many of the best things in life are those we have to work for. A wank is fun, but hours of sensuality requires passion.
Now we're back at music, and the difference between hearing and listening. Hearing is a passive activity, which draws us in with an interesting sound. When we hear something we are compelled to move to it. A loud song, in an exciteable environment is intoxicating in the same way a drug is. We then associate positive times with that song, and will buy the product.
Listening is a much more private affair. Listening requires effort on the part of the person, and requires them to question their own tastes REGULARLY. To listen you have to invest your time in each part of the noise. The words, the beat, the melody, the instruments. Then completley forget that you dissected it and enjoy the whole. Then how the lyrics link with the melody, then the emotional impact and lastly if you LEARNED anything from the song. Did it teach you something, did it articulate something for you? Did it help you understand and enjoy life more?
All these things are the hallmarks of truly amazing music, and music that can truly amaze you with just a little bit of effort. If you have never googled song lyrics, chances are you are missing one of life's little treats. Are you one of those people who never knows the words to songs (beyond the catchy chorus)? Maybe its time to give music another chance.
To me the very thought is heresy (herr-essy - it means something really bad :p). When you have lived with this passion in your life (or any passion) how could you not devote more of your life to doing so?
Enjoyment is a lighthearted cheeky wank of a word. Often without the mess, unless it involves Ice Cream. Interestingly though the way most people appear to enjoy music is on a similar level to the way we all like Ice Cream. Enjoyment is an indulgence we either opt for, or happen upon and consume. As a species we are consumers of enjoyment. Enjoyment however is a fickle short term emotion, lasting roughly 3 minutes on average (Studies from Arcade machines, Pop Song producers and commercial advertisers show as much).
To really be involved in life we need Passion. Passion is the difference between existing and living.
Passion has a tendency to be all consuming. Passion is hard to reign in. Passion can be too much to take, and therin lies its beauty and magnificence. Many of the best things in life are those we have to work for. A wank is fun, but hours of sensuality requires passion.
Now we're back at music, and the difference between hearing and listening. Hearing is a passive activity, which draws us in with an interesting sound. When we hear something we are compelled to move to it. A loud song, in an exciteable environment is intoxicating in the same way a drug is. We then associate positive times with that song, and will buy the product.
Listening is a much more private affair. Listening requires effort on the part of the person, and requires them to question their own tastes REGULARLY. To listen you have to invest your time in each part of the noise. The words, the beat, the melody, the instruments. Then completley forget that you dissected it and enjoy the whole. Then how the lyrics link with the melody, then the emotional impact and lastly if you LEARNED anything from the song. Did it teach you something, did it articulate something for you? Did it help you understand and enjoy life more?
All these things are the hallmarks of truly amazing music, and music that can truly amaze you with just a little bit of effort. If you have never googled song lyrics, chances are you are missing one of life's little treats. Are you one of those people who never knows the words to songs (beyond the catchy chorus)? Maybe its time to give music another chance.
To me the very thought is heresy (herr-essy - it means something really bad :p). When you have lived with this passion in your life (or any passion) how could you not devote more of your life to doing so?
Friday, November 23, 2007
Life & The people in it
Food for thought in a world starving itself of cognitive excercise. We have the intellectual capacity to learn and analyse and we don't. Pissing in the wind is futile and makes you smelly. Yet en massè we persist.
Silence is golden, but a wall of silence is a pure golden shower of regret. Breaking silence and honestly communicating DESIRES, HOPES and the way FORWARD are never bad. The more two sides of a debate dont communicate, the more paranoia makes them hate each other. Ever noticed that? That when someone falls out with someone else... The actual reason gets left behind and all these extra things get thrown into the pot and given a good stir. "Oh well, yeah, but Im pretty sure you were up to something too, and dont act like you werent!"... Type statements are bullshit.
There is pretty much no situation where thinking you know, is an adequate substitute for KNOWING. Acting on what you *think* you know is intrinsically STUPID. The lesson for all us mortals venturing down this fragile road is that sometimes perspective beats agenda. If you think someone hates you, they don't; usually... Unless you are from westlife.
Simplicity is a beautiful thing. Mundane has such negative connotations, but did you ever hear of someone who enjoyed a "complex" relationship? Simplicity comes from honesty, and that honesty needs to turn inwards occasionally.
Silence is golden, but a wall of silence is a pure golden shower of regret. Breaking silence and honestly communicating DESIRES, HOPES and the way FORWARD are never bad. The more two sides of a debate dont communicate, the more paranoia makes them hate each other. Ever noticed that? That when someone falls out with someone else... The actual reason gets left behind and all these extra things get thrown into the pot and given a good stir. "Oh well, yeah, but Im pretty sure you were up to something too, and dont act like you werent!"... Type statements are bullshit.
There is pretty much no situation where thinking you know, is an adequate substitute for KNOWING. Acting on what you *think* you know is intrinsically STUPID. The lesson for all us mortals venturing down this fragile road is that sometimes perspective beats agenda. If you think someone hates you, they don't; usually... Unless you are from westlife.
Simplicity is a beautiful thing. Mundane has such negative connotations, but did you ever hear of someone who enjoyed a "complex" relationship? Simplicity comes from honesty, and that honesty needs to turn inwards occasionally.
Saturday, November 17, 2007
Vile over the top rant. Read in context. You are warned.
The following is an excercise in ranting. It is unreasoble and biased. React.
Children in Need angers me. Not so much that they're a charity, or even a televised marthon of people failing to entertain me. Its the false excitement that everyone puts on for the whole thing.
It's like Hen nights, or office fancy dress parties. Its those without a sense of humour attempting to be zany and energetic. It brings out creatures who really should stay inside, continue watching daytime TV and over eating. "OOO look at me, Im so zany and crazy". People who SAY that shit, are doing so to compensate for a lack of personality. Personality isn't difficult. Observe a musing plucked from thin air.
"Why when you go to a club do you call it clubbing? It suggests violence and fails to deliver. Have you ever seen a club with the lights off? They're such a let down. Like some women without makeup. Lesson for the day. True value lasts, regardless of the light levels".
See? EASY. Interesting, mildly funny, and MOST importantly ORIGINAL.
Why the fuck are TV cast members trying to sing songs from the 60s about getting high? How is that going to make me donate? They keep pointing out that people don't donate while they are being entertained. I'm being bored to fucking tears, and I keep watching out of morbid curiosity. How low can this thing go. Then they throw on some reformed boyband that lacks talent, or the latest X factor wannabe. OUCH
Don't get me started on the constant cheering. TV shows clap at EVERYTHING. Have you ever tried to clap along with a tv show? Try it. It will make you want to stab seals. All this stuff is the norm, all this stuff we accept because we're used to it. Like the laughter track on comedy shows.
Middle aged, middle of the road, mildly zany, mild entertainment causes such rage in me. Dressing up makes them look FAT, struggling to say "I spent all day in custard" makes them look stupid AND FAT. Being ugly and fat on TV after sitting in custard all day makes their life pointless. Die.
There are proven ways to make money. Chances are you make more outside ASDA with a bucket than you ever will sitting in beans (Unless you have rich friends and good guilt strings). People do the sitting in beans, and then BRAG about it. "I sat in beans! Will you give me money?". Did I miss the memo, or does that make no sense whatsoever? You sat in beans, haha, you dumbass.
Hen nights should fuck off.
Why is there always ONE hot girl, and the rest ugly? Why do they use this occasion to be really "outrageous" and pinch my ass, or ask me why I have long hair. Their lives are insignificant to me. I will never see them again. They're ugly, agressivley medicore and have probably never voted. I dont want to interact with these people.
Noodles are shit. Whats the fucking point? They taste like cardboard.
Children in Need angers me. Not so much that they're a charity, or even a televised marthon of people failing to entertain me. Its the false excitement that everyone puts on for the whole thing.
It's like Hen nights, or office fancy dress parties. Its those without a sense of humour attempting to be zany and energetic. It brings out creatures who really should stay inside, continue watching daytime TV and over eating. "OOO look at me, Im so zany and crazy". People who SAY that shit, are doing so to compensate for a lack of personality. Personality isn't difficult. Observe a musing plucked from thin air.
"Why when you go to a club do you call it clubbing? It suggests violence and fails to deliver. Have you ever seen a club with the lights off? They're such a let down. Like some women without makeup. Lesson for the day. True value lasts, regardless of the light levels".
See? EASY. Interesting, mildly funny, and MOST importantly ORIGINAL.
Why the fuck are TV cast members trying to sing songs from the 60s about getting high? How is that going to make me donate? They keep pointing out that people don't donate while they are being entertained. I'm being bored to fucking tears, and I keep watching out of morbid curiosity. How low can this thing go. Then they throw on some reformed boyband that lacks talent, or the latest X factor wannabe. OUCH
Don't get me started on the constant cheering. TV shows clap at EVERYTHING. Have you ever tried to clap along with a tv show? Try it. It will make you want to stab seals. All this stuff is the norm, all this stuff we accept because we're used to it. Like the laughter track on comedy shows.
Middle aged, middle of the road, mildly zany, mild entertainment causes such rage in me. Dressing up makes them look FAT, struggling to say "I spent all day in custard" makes them look stupid AND FAT. Being ugly and fat on TV after sitting in custard all day makes their life pointless. Die.
There are proven ways to make money. Chances are you make more outside ASDA with a bucket than you ever will sitting in beans (Unless you have rich friends and good guilt strings). People do the sitting in beans, and then BRAG about it. "I sat in beans! Will you give me money?". Did I miss the memo, or does that make no sense whatsoever? You sat in beans, haha, you dumbass.
Hen nights should fuck off.
Why is there always ONE hot girl, and the rest ugly? Why do they use this occasion to be really "outrageous" and pinch my ass, or ask me why I have long hair. Their lives are insignificant to me. I will never see them again. They're ugly, agressivley medicore and have probably never voted. I dont want to interact with these people.
Noodles are shit. Whats the fucking point? They taste like cardboard.
Friday, November 16, 2007
Spot the NLP
When women are holding out sex they think they are saying "I am powerful, you want me despite me not having sex with you". What they're actually saying is "The only power I have, is the biology I was born with". Not realising what a huge turn off that is.
There are two stereotypes that must first be addressed. Firstly. Yes there are a lot of guys out there who are just after sex, and will manipulate to do so. Being burned by this a girl quickly learns that if she holds out those guys that SHE DOESNT WANT, stay interested in her. She is now successfully failing and getting what she wants. Secondly. Yes there are a lot of girls who sleep around to make themselves feel better about being unable to make a connection with someone. They replace the emotional black hole with a sexual rainbow. Like any drug however, the endorphines released during sex only last so long...
Now with those two out of the way, we are left with sensible, rational people who see the trappings most fall into. Either we have the physical and not the mental, or we try have the mental but it isn't sealed with the physical. Without a bridge you can't cross a river, so to get what we want we have to balance both on some levels.
I am not judging those who have sex for sport. More power to them, so long as they're doing it with the right frame of mind. Nor do I judge those who hold out. I am however convinced both types of people are doing so based on false beleif and flat out WRONG logic.
Just as you cannot have yin without yang, up without down, wrong without right. You cannot realistically head into any "romantic" relationship without the harmony produced when the physical and mental combine. Fear causes us to not commit, or over commit and worry a lot. It is this fear that then leads to the dimise of relationships. The fear then grows stronger. The only thing that comes from fear is MORE FEAR. Our task is to take a risk.
Like a handshake, or a dance, or any ritual one leads the other follows. Without equal hope and equal intention the handshake doesn't happen, the dance is out of time and the ritual is broken. Imagine if we were scared to handshake someone, put our hand out but then retracted it out of fear. Not once, but consistently. The other person would pretty soon (understandably) be pissed off.
This metaphor works for both the physical and mental aspects of relationships. Men often enter and are driven by their hormones to persue the physical relationship. They attempt to do this by offering some level of emotional connection. They are however using this as a device to get the physical, which they *think* is their goal.
Women often are driven by their hormones to persue the emotional relationship. They attempt to do this by offering some level of physical connection. They are however using this as a device to get the emotional. Which they *think* is their goal. This is what they mean when they say men are from Mars, women; Venus.
What a stupid saying. We both live on earth, and we should be in harmony. Deep down we all want both. As a species its time to be honest about desires. We have a habit of dancing around the truth. Why not express the truth and then dance in joy? Seems much more fun!
Attraction, Flirtation, Euphoria, Doubt and Truth are the five elements we progress through. Most of us go through the first 4, for the duration of a relationship because we never realise the truth, we never share our truth and so we can never live it. Boy likes girl, girl likes boy can they PLEASE make that clear to each other? There is nothing to lose but that which was never to be anyway. Which is a good thing to lose!
The thrill of communicating has been lost. That heart pumping, world shaking mixture of anxiety and hope that reminds you you're alive, is an essential part of living. Our generation seems to afraid to live. We live in a world scarred by divorce and the cautionary tales of those who lived with fear but never learned from it. Every person, project or idea is an investment. Its up to your instincts, experience and intelligence to decide if that investment is worth your time and will pay off. If every fibre in you says yes and ONLY FEAR is saying no... Destroy fear.
Only those who dare to fail will ever succeed. You cannot win a race in bubblewrap. Persistence and hope in combinations are rare virtues of the successful. Yet many have walked that path, and here we sit, afraid to take the steps others have taken before us. The successful blazed a trail, by never failing to succeed. If we only took the chance. If we only took the risk. If we only considered what scares us.
Why all these ifs? Why are we stuck in Wet Sand we imagined into existence? Why do we find justification in consistently failing? Why do I keep writing with rhetorical questions?
Because I want YOU to take on board this message. Its time to stop fearing life and start LIVING it.
There are two stereotypes that must first be addressed. Firstly. Yes there are a lot of guys out there who are just after sex, and will manipulate to do so. Being burned by this a girl quickly learns that if she holds out those guys that SHE DOESNT WANT, stay interested in her. She is now successfully failing and getting what she wants. Secondly. Yes there are a lot of girls who sleep around to make themselves feel better about being unable to make a connection with someone. They replace the emotional black hole with a sexual rainbow. Like any drug however, the endorphines released during sex only last so long...
Now with those two out of the way, we are left with sensible, rational people who see the trappings most fall into. Either we have the physical and not the mental, or we try have the mental but it isn't sealed with the physical. Without a bridge you can't cross a river, so to get what we want we have to balance both on some levels.
I want YOU to take on board this message. Its time to stop fearing life and start LIVING it.
I am not judging those who have sex for sport. More power to them, so long as they're doing it with the right frame of mind. Nor do I judge those who hold out. I am however convinced both types of people are doing so based on false beleif and flat out WRONG logic.
Just as you cannot have yin without yang, up without down, wrong without right. You cannot realistically head into any "romantic" relationship without the harmony produced when the physical and mental combine. Fear causes us to not commit, or over commit and worry a lot. It is this fear that then leads to the dimise of relationships. The fear then grows stronger. The only thing that comes from fear is MORE FEAR. Our task is to take a risk.
Like a handshake, or a dance, or any ritual one leads the other follows. Without equal hope and equal intention the handshake doesn't happen, the dance is out of time and the ritual is broken. Imagine if we were scared to handshake someone, put our hand out but then retracted it out of fear. Not once, but consistently. The other person would pretty soon (understandably) be pissed off.
This metaphor works for both the physical and mental aspects of relationships. Men often enter and are driven by their hormones to persue the physical relationship. They attempt to do this by offering some level of emotional connection. They are however using this as a device to get the physical, which they *think* is their goal.
Women often are driven by their hormones to persue the emotional relationship. They attempt to do this by offering some level of physical connection. They are however using this as a device to get the emotional. Which they *think* is their goal. This is what they mean when they say men are from Mars, women; Venus.
What a stupid saying. We both live on earth, and we should be in harmony. Deep down we all want both. As a species its time to be honest about desires. We have a habit of dancing around the truth. Why not express the truth and then dance in joy? Seems much more fun!
Attraction, Flirtation, Euphoria, Doubt and Truth are the five elements we progress through. Most of us go through the first 4, for the duration of a relationship because we never realise the truth, we never share our truth and so we can never live it. Boy likes girl, girl likes boy can they PLEASE make that clear to each other? There is nothing to lose but that which was never to be anyway. Which is a good thing to lose!
I want YOU to take on board this message. Its time to stop fearing life and start LIVING it.
The thrill of communicating has been lost. That heart pumping, world shaking mixture of anxiety and hope that reminds you you're alive, is an essential part of living. Our generation seems to afraid to live. We live in a world scarred by divorce and the cautionary tales of those who lived with fear but never learned from it. Every person, project or idea is an investment. Its up to your instincts, experience and intelligence to decide if that investment is worth your time and will pay off. If every fibre in you says yes and ONLY FEAR is saying no... Destroy fear.
Only those who dare to fail will ever succeed. You cannot win a race in bubblewrap. Persistence and hope in combinations are rare virtues of the successful. Yet many have walked that path, and here we sit, afraid to take the steps others have taken before us. The successful blazed a trail, by never failing to succeed. If we only took the chance. If we only took the risk. If we only considered what scares us.
Why all these ifs? Why are we stuck in Wet Sand we imagined into existence? Why do we find justification in consistently failing? Why do I keep writing with rhetorical questions?
Because I want YOU to take on board this message. Its time to stop fearing life and start LIVING it.
Thursday, November 01, 2007
False beliefs & How they affect YOO
Wouldn't it be cool if there were goggles you could put on that made everything just work?
Kinda like those X-Ray lenses from 50s comics, except not for being a perv.
As a specs wearer I'd like to share a little known fact. Maybe is just me being retarded but I think its a species thing. After wearing specs for a long enough time period you completley forget they are there. They improve your vision, they make life better in a lot of ways... and at first can be a little annoying to get used to.
Anyone who can see where I'm going with this already wins 10 cool points.
Walking around on a daily basis, most of humanity is short sighted. They are focussed on todays problems. Does this sound familiar? All the little things going wrong?
STOP right now, thank you very much (I need somebody with a spice girl touch...)...
STOPPING that common mistake will set you apart from everyone else. All it takes is a little perspective and reframing.
There is also an added advantage to you stopping that behaviour. Everyone else who is still short sighted can borrow your specs. They will thank you so much! You have allowed them to see the worlds true beauty. Its called perspective, and its incredibly valueable.
People are enticed by a person with perspective. We all need a strong voice to tell us everything is going to be ok. One that can tell us why as well?! Wow. Well they are heroes that give 60s Batman a run for his money.
Now lets break this down into male and female:
Male false beliefs
There is so much wrong with the above. We value one aspect of ourselves above "most guys". Looks, status, intelligence. Something. Men are suprisingly helpful and useful in a brootherhood. Brotherhood is the least tapped resource, and the most successful. The community is a good start, however men working together is a key to success. Unlock it to achieve.
Rejection is merley a missed opporunity. Things that don't happen are of no relevance. Only things that happen and have real world impact are of any REAL use to us. These are the things we MUST focus on. Focussing on the negative doesn't ACHIEVE anything and is a WASTE of time. Why would you want to WASTE time? What a strange concept.
Men tying their value to social proof has a lot to do with the "pecking order" concept. A false construct. We each have a unique talent where it is ideal for us to lead. There are also times when it is benificial for is to follow a stronger leader. We GAIN from that. Being the man who can choose when he wants to lead and doesn't let his ego stop him from following is POWERFUL, and wins RESPECT very quickly. Try it.
Fear of exposure can only exist if you are putting on a front. In effect you can only fear revealing something about yourself if you are pretending to be something you are not. HOW CRAZY IS THAT? Whats more... exposing who you are and depricating WINS friends and RESPECT. People can relate to it and want to be with someone who has the CONFIDENCE to expose that.
Female false beliefs
Competing with other peoples looks is like running to beat an olympic athlete rather than to get fit. It's the wrong way to go about things. You will end up exhausted and not achieve anything. You don't want to make silly decisions. Make the right decision for YOU. What suits YOU. The key is indentity and sexuality.
Women can be mean to other women, mainly due to fearing judgement themselves. Social standards dictate that a woman cannot be strong. Social standards dictate that a woman can't make her own decisions. Social standards inprison women. Yet they are inforced mostly BY WOMEN WHO FEAR JUDGEMENT! This is such a strange concept. SCREW social standards. Women are just as free as men and should NEVER be judged for decisions they take. We as men should support them 100% in this.
Fear of exposure can only exist if you are putting on a front. In effect you can only fear revealing something about yourself if you are pretending to be something you are not. HOW CRAZY IS THAT? Whats more... exposing who you are and depricating WINS friends and RESPECT. People can relate to it and want to be with someone who has the CONFIDENCE to expose that. (Yes this needed repeating)
Risk = Achievement. Its a simple formula. Yet women will shy away from it. So will men. We live in our comfortable world restrained by an Ego and Fear which does not allow us to be WHO WE ARE. It does not allow us to EXPRESS OURSELVES. It is not TRUE. It is not REAL. It is fear. Yet we won't say hi to that girl or guy we like. We won't express our feelings. This HAS TO STOP.
Express yourself to everyone. Put on those perspective spectacles.
Send me ten dollah.
Kinda like those X-Ray lenses from 50s comics, except not for being a perv.
As a specs wearer I'd like to share a little known fact. Maybe is just me being retarded but I think its a species thing. After wearing specs for a long enough time period you completley forget they are there. They improve your vision, they make life better in a lot of ways... and at first can be a little annoying to get used to.
Anyone who can see where I'm going with this already wins 10 cool points.
Walking around on a daily basis, most of humanity is short sighted. They are focussed on todays problems. Does this sound familiar? All the little things going wrong?
STOP right now, thank you very much (I need somebody with a spice girl touch...)...
STOPPING that common mistake will set you apart from everyone else. All it takes is a little perspective and reframing.
There is also an added advantage to you stopping that behaviour. Everyone else who is still short sighted can borrow your specs. They will thank you so much! You have allowed them to see the worlds true beauty. Its called perspective, and its incredibly valueable.
People are enticed by a person with perspective. We all need a strong voice to tell us everything is going to be ok. One that can tell us why as well?! Wow. Well they are heroes that give 60s Batman a run for his money.
Now lets break this down into male and female:
Male false beliefs
-Men are naturally competing on some level.
-Men are petrified of rejection
-Men tie their value to social standing
-Men fear being exposed and will not share their fears.
There is so much wrong with the above. We value one aspect of ourselves above "most guys". Looks, status, intelligence. Something. Men are suprisingly helpful and useful in a brootherhood. Brotherhood is the least tapped resource, and the most successful. The community is a good start, however men working together is a key to success. Unlock it to achieve.
Rejection is merley a missed opporunity. Things that don't happen are of no relevance. Only things that happen and have real world impact are of any REAL use to us. These are the things we MUST focus on. Focussing on the negative doesn't ACHIEVE anything and is a WASTE of time. Why would you want to WASTE time? What a strange concept.
Men tying their value to social proof has a lot to do with the "pecking order" concept. A false construct. We each have a unique talent where it is ideal for us to lead. There are also times when it is benificial for is to follow a stronger leader. We GAIN from that. Being the man who can choose when he wants to lead and doesn't let his ego stop him from following is POWERFUL, and wins RESPECT very quickly. Try it.
Fear of exposure can only exist if you are putting on a front. In effect you can only fear revealing something about yourself if you are pretending to be something you are not. HOW CRAZY IS THAT? Whats more... exposing who you are and depricating WINS friends and RESPECT. People can relate to it and want to be with someone who has the CONFIDENCE to expose that.
Female false beliefs
-Women compete physically
-Women fear judgement by other women
-Women fear being exposed as "fake" and will not share fears easily, especially with guys
-Women fear taking social risks
Competing with other peoples looks is like running to beat an olympic athlete rather than to get fit. It's the wrong way to go about things. You will end up exhausted and not achieve anything. You don't want to make silly decisions. Make the right decision for YOU. What suits YOU. The key is indentity and sexuality.
Women can be mean to other women, mainly due to fearing judgement themselves. Social standards dictate that a woman cannot be strong. Social standards dictate that a woman can't make her own decisions. Social standards inprison women. Yet they are inforced mostly BY WOMEN WHO FEAR JUDGEMENT! This is such a strange concept. SCREW social standards. Women are just as free as men and should NEVER be judged for decisions they take. We as men should support them 100% in this.
Fear of exposure can only exist if you are putting on a front. In effect you can only fear revealing something about yourself if you are pretending to be something you are not. HOW CRAZY IS THAT? Whats more... exposing who you are and depricating WINS friends and RESPECT. People can relate to it and want to be with someone who has the CONFIDENCE to expose that. (Yes this needed repeating)
Risk = Achievement. Its a simple formula. Yet women will shy away from it. So will men. We live in our comfortable world restrained by an Ego and Fear which does not allow us to be WHO WE ARE. It does not allow us to EXPRESS OURSELVES. It is not TRUE. It is not REAL. It is fear. Yet we won't say hi to that girl or guy we like. We won't express our feelings. This HAS TO STOP.
Express yourself to everyone. Put on those perspective spectacles.
Send me ten dollah.
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Risk vs Reward. A battle! Woo
How many people do you know that fall into one of these catagories?
Wreckless Risk takers: So drawn into the moment and incapeable of perspective they will take silly risks and be far too compulsive for their own good.
Total bores: The kind that never ever change anything in their lives. Even if it doesn't suit them. They continue as they are because they fear change, even if they know it will make their lives a LOT better.
Obvious enough. My interesting idea of the day is that most of us are both to some degree, and usually depending on what area of life it applies to. For example there are those of us who are more compulsive with their social life, but quiet at work. There are those of us who excel at work, jumping from job to job and climbing the ladder. There are those that travel but never change their home life.
The last catagory interests me because its probably the largest. People who love travelling are embracing escapism because there is something (or usually a bunch of things and people) they don't like about their life. A man far wiser than I once said, if you find yourself embracing escapism all the time, and your life has no direction; its time to embrace escape and get the fuck out! Leave that old job, town or looser behind. Instead of settling for the least worse acceptable daily routine, create the BEST possible by discovering what where and who you like the most!
The sad thing is often we don't value ourselves enough to know when we deserve better. Most people will hit middle age and old age regretting not taking a few more risks in their personal lives, and taking too many with their finances. There has to be a lesson here.
What are the risks of being honest about what you want? And what are the rewards? Most people desire to be loved much more than money, yet they chase money and avoid risk taking with their heart. Only those who dare to fail will ever succeed. Half the fun in life is failing and getting back up. It makes you a better person. What do you want? Go get it.
Wreckless Risk takers: So drawn into the moment and incapeable of perspective they will take silly risks and be far too compulsive for their own good.
Total bores: The kind that never ever change anything in their lives. Even if it doesn't suit them. They continue as they are because they fear change, even if they know it will make their lives a LOT better.
Obvious enough. My interesting idea of the day is that most of us are both to some degree, and usually depending on what area of life it applies to. For example there are those of us who are more compulsive with their social life, but quiet at work. There are those of us who excel at work, jumping from job to job and climbing the ladder. There are those that travel but never change their home life.
The last catagory interests me because its probably the largest. People who love travelling are embracing escapism because there is something (or usually a bunch of things and people) they don't like about their life. A man far wiser than I once said, if you find yourself embracing escapism all the time, and your life has no direction; its time to embrace escape and get the fuck out! Leave that old job, town or looser behind. Instead of settling for the least worse acceptable daily routine, create the BEST possible by discovering what where and who you like the most!
The sad thing is often we don't value ourselves enough to know when we deserve better. Most people will hit middle age and old age regretting not taking a few more risks in their personal lives, and taking too many with their finances. There has to be a lesson here.
What are the risks of being honest about what you want? And what are the rewards? Most people desire to be loved much more than money, yet they chase money and avoid risk taking with their heart. Only those who dare to fail will ever succeed. Half the fun in life is failing and getting back up. It makes you a better person. What do you want? Go get it.
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
A question heir.
1) Some random girl comes up to you and says "Hey what's your name?" you say?
Rumpledforeskin.
2) What's the last thing you put in your mouth?
I really want to say "your mom" but it was a galaxy bar.
3) What does your last text message say?
"Your not alone, walk with me in hell".
4) What was the last song you listened to?
Nirvana - Something in the Way
5) If you hated someone and got put in charge of their funeral music, what would it be?
The Fast Food Rockers or worse... Kasabian/Artic Monkeys or any of that dreary shit. YUCK
6) Where is your best friend right now?
Asleep in the house of 1000 smells.
7) What did you do yesterday?
The gym, and lots of internet chatting with Kirstables.
8) Pick a scar on your body - what did you do?
Lower abdomen. I had a testicle removed.
10) How old is your mum?
45 going on 5.
11) Last time you were dumped?
April 2004. I think it was the 24th... I used to know the date. I was a saddo. Now appologise to the tree.
12) Who's your most religious friend?
Internets.
13) Who do you trust with your life?
Any of the Wolfpac. They know who they are.
14) If you could change your name to anything what would it be?
Bucky, Captain Bucky O'Haire!
15) What would you say if someone told you that you were the most beautiful person in the world and they would do anything to wake up to your face each and every morning?
Punch them for being way too into me. Or respond in kind, depends who said it really. April from the Turtles or Ariel from the little mermaid or legit hotties whom I... [Stop talking... Just... Stop]
16) How often do you curse?
Not as often since I lost my wand and couldren.
17) Do you trust all of your friends?
Its a pre-requisite of someone being my friend. Fail me and DIE.
18) Would you move to another state or country to be with the one you love?
I like moving and living in awesome places. The reasons I move have to be practical more than personal.
19) Do you believe that everything happens for a reason?
No, everything happens. How you react is what counts.
20) Name the things you would NOT tolerate in a relationship?
Dishonesty and Jelousy. Those are the only two things ever I do not tolerate.
21) Which one of your top friends do you think would make the best prostitute?
Scott. Hot rhymes with his name.
22) Are you afraid of falling in love?
Bah, fear is False Evidence Appearing Real. Its a useless emotion.
23) Is there someone that popped in your mind after that question?
Not directly, love isn't a switch you can turn on or off. But latley I've been thinking about Ariel from the little mermaid A LOT. Anyone who can handle my sense of humour AND my turrets... Yeah they win. They win lots... I'm thirsty. (ooooooo hint)
24) Would you stop talking to your friends because you hooked up with a new person?
How silly. No.
25) What features do you find most attractive in the opposite/same sex?
A girl who can make ME laugh regularly, whom I know I can trust to be completley honest with me, and never hide an emotion away; and who is stunningly attractive. I have high standards, but I hold myself to them.
26) Fill in the blank. I love_____:
Ariel from the little mermaid, Nandos, Life, Humourous Hobbits
37) Did anyone see you kiss the last person you kissed?
Ummm... probably not without binoculars. (They're 2inches tall)
38) Do you still talk to the last person you kissed
Yeah. Its super rare I fall out with someone, unless we are in a tree or something. Then its gravitys fault.
39) Have you ever punched a tree?
They are suprisingly evil.
40) Have you ever snuck out of your house?
Why? I live in my own apartment. That would be silly
41) Never sleep or never eat?
Sleep and eat lots.
42) Morning or night person?
Night crawler.
43) Are you there for your friends?
As much as possible. Being helpful is one of my priorities.
44) Do you like to spend time with people?
So long as I get some alone time every now and then, Im pretty much always with peeps
45) Drunk dialer or texter?
I dont really get drunk very often. I am a random texter though. A demon no less.
46) Are you a forgiving person?
When I have to be
47) Would you ever share a girl/boyfriend with your best friend?
It depends on the situation, but I have nothing against it. It depends on the people.
48) Have you lost a friend recently?
Nope
49) Are you talking to someone while doing this/?
Yeah. Lewis, we're discussing that tragic football score.
50) Do you want a relationship right now?
Maybe. Easy come.
Rumpledforeskin.
2) What's the last thing you put in your mouth?
I really want to say "your mom" but it was a galaxy bar.
3) What does your last text message say?
"Your not alone, walk with me in hell".
4) What was the last song you listened to?
Nirvana - Something in the Way
5) If you hated someone and got put in charge of their funeral music, what would it be?
The Fast Food Rockers or worse... Kasabian/Artic Monkeys or any of that dreary shit. YUCK
6) Where is your best friend right now?
Asleep in the house of 1000 smells.
7) What did you do yesterday?
The gym, and lots of internet chatting with Kirstables.
8) Pick a scar on your body - what did you do?
Lower abdomen. I had a testicle removed.
10) How old is your mum?
45 going on 5.
11) Last time you were dumped?
April 2004. I think it was the 24th... I used to know the date. I was a saddo. Now appologise to the tree.
12) Who's your most religious friend?
Internets.
13) Who do you trust with your life?
Any of the Wolfpac. They know who they are.
14) If you could change your name to anything what would it be?
Bucky, Captain Bucky O'Haire!
15) What would you say if someone told you that you were the most beautiful person in the world and they would do anything to wake up to your face each and every morning?
Punch them for being way too into me. Or respond in kind, depends who said it really. April from the Turtles or Ariel from the little mermaid or legit hotties whom I... [Stop talking... Just... Stop]
16) How often do you curse?
Not as often since I lost my wand and couldren.
17) Do you trust all of your friends?
Its a pre-requisite of someone being my friend. Fail me and DIE.
18) Would you move to another state or country to be with the one you love?
I like moving and living in awesome places. The reasons I move have to be practical more than personal.
19) Do you believe that everything happens for a reason?
No, everything happens. How you react is what counts.
20) Name the things you would NOT tolerate in a relationship?
Dishonesty and Jelousy. Those are the only two things ever I do not tolerate.
21) Which one of your top friends do you think would make the best prostitute?
Scott. Hot rhymes with his name.
22) Are you afraid of falling in love?
Bah, fear is False Evidence Appearing Real. Its a useless emotion.
23) Is there someone that popped in your mind after that question?
Not directly, love isn't a switch you can turn on or off. But latley I've been thinking about Ariel from the little mermaid A LOT. Anyone who can handle my sense of humour AND my turrets... Yeah they win. They win lots... I'm thirsty. (ooooooo hint)
24) Would you stop talking to your friends because you hooked up with a new person?
How silly. No.
25) What features do you find most attractive in the opposite/same sex?
A girl who can make ME laugh regularly, whom I know I can trust to be completley honest with me, and never hide an emotion away; and who is stunningly attractive. I have high standards, but I hold myself to them.
26) Fill in the blank. I love_____:
Ariel from the little mermaid, Nandos, Life, Humourous Hobbits
37) Did anyone see you kiss the last person you kissed?
Ummm... probably not without binoculars. (They're 2inches tall)
38) Do you still talk to the last person you kissed
Yeah. Its super rare I fall out with someone, unless we are in a tree or something. Then its gravitys fault.
39) Have you ever punched a tree?
They are suprisingly evil.
40) Have you ever snuck out of your house?
Why? I live in my own apartment. That would be silly
41) Never sleep or never eat?
Sleep and eat lots.
42) Morning or night person?
Night crawler.
43) Are you there for your friends?
As much as possible. Being helpful is one of my priorities.
44) Do you like to spend time with people?
So long as I get some alone time every now and then, Im pretty much always with peeps
45) Drunk dialer or texter?
I dont really get drunk very often. I am a random texter though. A demon no less.
46) Are you a forgiving person?
When I have to be
47) Would you ever share a girl/boyfriend with your best friend?
It depends on the situation, but I have nothing against it. It depends on the people.
48) Have you lost a friend recently?
Nope
49) Are you talking to someone while doing this/?
Yeah. Lewis, we're discussing that tragic football score.
50) Do you want a relationship right now?
Maybe. Easy come.
Monday, October 15, 2007
The A1, Horror Films & Lauren
The A1 is officially the worst road ever, since crappy roads were invented, it takes the No-bell Crappy award for the most impossible road to drive on ever. I don't mind leaving a house party half way through to rescue a cyclopse, but I do mind shitty roads. The A1 has a habit of throwing roundabouts at you in the middle of nowhere, then requiring you to turn, in a cone wonderland without regard for the fact you were doing 70mph on a dual carriageway. The only thing I can liken it to is being dipped in tar and then asked to navigate a maze on rocket skates. Its downright confusing, dark and evil.
Speaking of dark and evil: Lauren.
No wait. Speaking of dark and evil I got a new tshirt this weekend at the Devildriver / God Forbid gig. God forbid blew my little titties off as I moshed, so I purcahsed the tshirt with the wonderfully antisocial "Metal as Fuck" slogan. I look forward to wearing it in a club that has a very strict door policy. Anyhoo, enough of that tangent, back to our story.
The joy of the A1 ride was Ryan and Sarah kindly joined me. Whilst me and Ryan set the world right with our stunningly accurate observations of humanity and culture, Sarah kept it real like only she can. Offering directions, and when we needed it most; hope. Allow me to elaborate. Roughly 20 miles into the journey we noted how horror movie like our plight was. Our dialogue for this film was witty and had recurring themes and jokes. Then we got lost.
Then Ryan couldn't pee (Pee anxiety struck in a laybay on the A1 somewhere between doncaster and a tree). It was dark, old school dark. The kind of dark where you can't hear anything but your car indicator ticking from inside the car and your hands look like impliments off doom. An indicator casts an eerie blinking shadow on a windy hill when you are as exposed as to have your hands and your man part and happen to be pissing.
This would all be fine if we weren't lost, and very frustrated at being lost. It wasn't Cyclopses fault, he had done his upmost to inform us where to be. The guy that gave us directions to Tuxford told us it was "just past doncaster". Tuxford is just past doncaster in the same way North Korea is just past Hull.
After two hours of travelling up and down the A1 and loosing all hope for existence we see a sign for Tuxford... and go sailing past it. Possibly the most bittersweet moment in the existence of humanity. On the A1. Finding Tuxford wasn't hard after that, but finding the address was obscene. We found 82, 84 and 86... but was Number 81 there? Noooo? What do you do in a situation like that? Call the RAC? Join the circus? No! Bellow out of the window at the top of your lungs: "Bbbuyauhaaaaaaaah!"... In the hope said Cyclopse will hear you. Well you do if your name is Ryan
Being past the point of frustration was a given by now. The closed motorway exit on the way home enforcing a 10 mile detour couln't hold me back. I was heading to a party where everyone was drunk to find the one sober guy and play video games. I succeeded. I retire to pastures old. I am a hero in my own bedtime. So then a weird woman knocks at the door of mine and Diego's apartment and claims to have been kicked out of another apartment and need a taxi to Hebbden Bridge. Surreal just doesn't cut it.
She reminded me of something Ryan said the week earlier whilst we were lost in Birmingham. Birmingham is the only city with URGH and MING in the name. This is for good reason to warn off travellers. I now know this.
*Guitar interlute, ejaculation and goodnight*
Until next time. I have been ranting, and this will never be read all the way through. Ahh tedious inevetibility, I salute you.
Speaking of dark and evil: Lauren.
No wait. Speaking of dark and evil I got a new tshirt this weekend at the Devildriver / God Forbid gig. God forbid blew my little titties off as I moshed, so I purcahsed the tshirt with the wonderfully antisocial "Metal as Fuck" slogan. I look forward to wearing it in a club that has a very strict door policy. Anyhoo, enough of that tangent, back to our story.
The joy of the A1 ride was Ryan and Sarah kindly joined me. Whilst me and Ryan set the world right with our stunningly accurate observations of humanity and culture, Sarah kept it real like only she can. Offering directions, and when we needed it most; hope. Allow me to elaborate. Roughly 20 miles into the journey we noted how horror movie like our plight was. Our dialogue for this film was witty and had recurring themes and jokes. Then we got lost.
Then Ryan couldn't pee (Pee anxiety struck in a laybay on the A1 somewhere between doncaster and a tree). It was dark, old school dark. The kind of dark where you can't hear anything but your car indicator ticking from inside the car and your hands look like impliments off doom. An indicator casts an eerie blinking shadow on a windy hill when you are as exposed as to have your hands and your man part and happen to be pissing.
This would all be fine if we weren't lost, and very frustrated at being lost. It wasn't Cyclopses fault, he had done his upmost to inform us where to be. The guy that gave us directions to Tuxford told us it was "just past doncaster". Tuxford is just past doncaster in the same way North Korea is just past Hull.
After two hours of travelling up and down the A1 and loosing all hope for existence we see a sign for Tuxford... and go sailing past it. Possibly the most bittersweet moment in the existence of humanity. On the A1. Finding Tuxford wasn't hard after that, but finding the address was obscene. We found 82, 84 and 86... but was Number 81 there? Noooo? What do you do in a situation like that? Call the RAC? Join the circus? No! Bellow out of the window at the top of your lungs: "Bbbuyauhaaaaaaaah!"... In the hope said Cyclopse will hear you. Well you do if your name is Ryan
Being past the point of frustration was a given by now. The closed motorway exit on the way home enforcing a 10 mile detour couln't hold me back. I was heading to a party where everyone was drunk to find the one sober guy and play video games. I succeeded. I retire to pastures old. I am a hero in my own bedtime. So then a weird woman knocks at the door of mine and Diego's apartment and claims to have been kicked out of another apartment and need a taxi to Hebbden Bridge. Surreal just doesn't cut it.
She reminded me of something Ryan said the week earlier whilst we were lost in Birmingham. Birmingham is the only city with URGH and MING in the name. This is for good reason to warn off travellers. I now know this.
*Guitar interlute, ejaculation and goodnight*
Until next time. I have been ranting, and this will never be read all the way through. Ahh tedious inevetibility, I salute you.
Thursday, August 09, 2007
Hospitals & A Special Cat
Damn NHS.
I got an infection during surgery so now I have to spend 3 days in hospital on antibiotics to clear it. I was only just walking again too!
Bastards
See you all soon
Oh and feel free to call/drop by I will be bored.
Special mention to Cat my lil superstar, take care in london you :)
I got an infection during surgery so now I have to spend 3 days in hospital on antibiotics to clear it. I was only just walking again too!
Bastards
See you all soon
Oh and feel free to call/drop by I will be bored.
Special mention to Cat my lil superstar, take care in london you :)
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