Frustration of aging

For the first time in as long as I can remember, I'm working for a boss who wants to help me improve, and will go the extra mile to help me. In business a rare experience. It feels all shiny and new... like when you get a new phone.

The current job is great, except for the 50 minute commute either side (in good traffic). There are prospects, good people and the company has a pretty strong future. The weird sensation is being right back in the politics of it all though. Having to actually battle to get work done, and not fall into the blame game takes it out of you.

It's a strange company where you have to fight to do a project, you also have to fight to get it delivered, and resourced. Then if it slips because of anything at all, people always try to stick it on you. I'm used to a process world. Where everyone goes to look for the email chain and evidence first. This is insanity. Luckily my boss has the experience to teach me how to fight back, and will do so on my behalf when I'm out.

As a result I WILL work my ass off for that guy... BUT.

The whole thing doesn't feel right. I can't do this forever.

I feel stressed out, and like I never have spare time. My mum just moved house and is getting lonley and I can't go see her more than once a week because I have to work so hard just to keep work and my own life going. I get it, people have harder lives, but this is tough because there is no respite.

I feel bad about not having seen my Dad or Grandmother in nearly 6 months. They're not bad people. I miss them. The plans to control my life, they're in place, but always seem just around the corner.

I am frustrated. I want fun, and to see friends again, see my family and have some spare "ME" time left after all of that. Surely with all that, my contribution is valueable. My ideas useful?

Rant over. If you can relate, tell me how you got out of it! :)