Friday, June 22, 2007

A Muse meant.

This was originally posted on my website, but some might find it interesting.

Money, clothes, books... These things will all help round your character, but alone will do nothing. There is a difference between knowing and understanding. I'd wager it is that gap which holds so many back. Learn to understand what you ALREADY know and have known for longer than you probably thought and the rest falls into place.

A teacher at school once told me that "You may not progress as fast as everyone else in PE, but so long as you put in the effort you will get good grades". This was when I was in year 8, over weight and ~ 5'7. At the time I didn't think much to it, and accepted it, I was smart enough to realise I wasn't quite the same as others around me and didn't feel like I could change that fact. The year passes and I go through a growth spurt, loosing a lot of weight in the process. The teachers are full of praise, but I hadn't put much effort in. I couldn't understand why my expecations had been dampened so much, I felt like the whole thing was wrong. The situation highlighted to me something very strange. They were trying to avoid hurting my feelings instead of pushing me. What if I hadn't been lucky enough to have that growth spurt?

Now I'm older and in the position where I regularly push others out of their comfort zones and I begin to understand why. When you push someone, their negative wiring tells them to accept that they cannot progress. Yet the duality of this acceptance of negativity and a butt load of HOPE means they will invest time, money and anything else but true effort.

We all progress at very different speeds and are at different stages. My initial story is to demonstrate how the same situation is viewed differently based on your achievement level. As individuals we react based on our belief about ourself, and our belief about life and the world in general. This in turn effects how we will react to being taught and teaching any given skill.

When I was younger and had just started working in IT, I worked in a software group mostly full of professional software developers who were used to dealing with PCs and windows and could figure out very simple sentences like "Just hit start>run>msconfig and untick anything the company has installed over the network". I learned a lot when I had to write a user guide on the same topic for a larger audience. I was stunned by just ho methodical you have to be. Including a screenshot and description for everything in full prose, no short hand allowed. It took me literally weeks of trying and failing before I completed what should have been a simple task, because I could not see PCs any other way than how I had grown up with them.

This has paralells within life. Those at earlier progression levels come with their own beleif set, and those further progressed have an alternate beleif set. In the middle however, there is a breakdown of communication.

If we take the user guide scenario as an example.

The users of the guide were frustrated by the lack of clarity, and the aloofness with which the informaiton was presented. Why couldn't it just be clear?

The writer of the guide was frustrated by the users lack of understanding. How could they not get the simplest of tasks?

I believe this demonstrates the gap between those progressed in their social skills and those still progressing. The classic example is the natural who says "Just talk to her, Jesus!". I have begun to understand this frustration over the last year, because the irony of the tactics and analysis, is that its all to find simplicity. Its learning to let go. Its not doing, its being. Yet I refuse to let go of the memories of frustration in other aspects, and the students POV. What I write this in aid of; is the hope that prospective students of life will realize that communicating something understood on a level beyond the cerebral is difficult for instructors and that WE need YOUR help too.

Monday, June 18, 2007

Newness Apartmentous!

I am now a resident of Leeds, in the lovley Clarence Dock development by the amouries and surrounded by soon to be completed shops and leisure facilities.

Having my own place is awesome, not only do I get a good sized bedroom with en suite, I get the coolest living area and kitchen ever. Oh and did I mention A FREAKIN BALCONY? Not just any balcony, a full on summer party, plenty of alcohol, BBQ friendly Balcony overlooking the Canal.

I'm on top of the world, come join me up here. It rocks.

Im finding out I am very good at cleaning up after myself and that anyone who needs teaching how to use a household appliance wants shooting. This place is so very me. Bye bye HaliSHITE and good riddence.

The only downsides I can find are that... umm...

Wait downsides? Nope. Not seeing them. I mean the bills are nothing to sniff at but really, Im over the moon with this place. I expect to see many of you here before long.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

From yesterday it Calls

Thursday night I got so drunk playing a cards/drinking game I was slapping random strangers on the chest and shouting WHOOOOO! Ric Flair style. To the amusement of my friends... I'm talking of course about The Download festival.

At this point superlatives are inconsequential, the last six days of my life are beyond the mere adjectives of the English Language. For those of you that have visited festivals before, you may have an idea, for those of you who haven't; you missed the greatest show on earth and smell like my pile of washing.

The Metal Madness that is Download unlike any other festival allows you to arrive Wednesday at midday, the first band starts on Friday and you leave on Monday a very smelly exhausted post festival maniac. Life is different when you are at Download, you exist in a bubble where there are no chavs, there are no complete twats and there are no clean toilets. In this world the camaraderie counts for a lot, random strangers suddenly become part of your extended family. Shouting Timmeh, results in a Mexican shout where you can hear the "Timmeh" travel through a crowd. If you are lucky enough to have a car and visit nearby supermarkets, you see fellow festival goers and there is an unspoken bond there.

It’s how humanity should be, good music, good people and way too much alcohol involved. So how was my weekend? Now we have a frame of reference, I have to say it’s the best festival I've ever been to for a number of reasons. Firstly, of course the bands what an incredible line-up of amazing bands most people will never hear. Secondly the people, I had a lot of good friends at the festival... and last but by no means least the scantily clad girls on stilts. WOW... Even if they walked like they've just shat themselves they were still hot damnit.

Living in a tent for 5 nights in intense sunlight can get smelly and frustrating, so on the Thursday me + 3 friends hit Alton Towers to warm up for the weekend. If you have the cash I recommend it. It’s the perfect warm up... To getting drunk. My Hangover after Thursday nights Jagermeister and Stella destruction was black. I wanted to be knocked out to see out the hangover. Breathing felt bad. So needless to say Friday morning I was tenderer than an Emo writing a poem surrounded by angry Metal Heads. When you are stuck in a tent needing to pee, but physically cannot move, it’s cruel and unusual it could be a new form of torture that could be inflicted to terrorists.

To the bands. The line-up is available at www.downloadfestival.co.uk
/lineup

Ill Nino were my first band of 2007 and I forgot just how loud music is at festivals. They of course played all their hits (some of which you will recognise if you ever saw the resident evil movie). It’s the type of music they play in the background of films during those "whoa cool" moments. You can't help but enjoy it. Despite the lead singer calling us all smelly bastards every 30 seconds I had fun. Its good heavy shit, and this is THE way to hear it.

Next Megadeth. Now we're on to the serious business. Its 2pm and very early in the line-up and the main stage is arena is nearly full. Whoever said Metal is dead is sadly mistaken. Megadeth have a 20 year + strong track record of great songs and great shows. Dave Mustane's all stars do not disappoint, despite his “cousin it” like appearance he delivers an excellent show that probably won Megadeth more fans than they already had. Here is a band that has sold over 20 million records, and is never on the radio. Shocking.

Dragonforce are a marmite band. You either adore them or can't stand them. Personally I think they're the best cheesy thing to ever happen to music. You've probably seen a bunch of "Mosher" kids running around in Dragonforce t-shirts without realising this band has only been around for a few years. They play very fast guitars, with crazy drums but easy lyrics that sound like a Lord of the Rings sonnet of sorts. Hills, Warriors, Lightening and Storms in Burning fields feature heavily. Despite the cheese, this band has a wonderful charm, and is excellent live. If you don't have at least one Dragonforce track already, I suggest checking their MySpace. You may hate them, or you may end up subjecting strangers on the bus to their sound… not that I have…

Before the night ended I checked out Suicidal Tendencies. This incredible gem that I had never heard of before impressed me. They look like Korn, Sound like Metallica and dance like your dad. I am getting their album.

That’s where Friday ended for me. According to Kerrang I should have gone to see Paramore and Enter Shakiri, then My Chemical Pants. Or according to Metal Hammer it should have been Wolfmother, Velvet Revolver and then Korn. I can live without Emo, I mean sure it makes for good listening on the MP3 player, but live it just sounds so horrible... and I want to hurt the little Emo kiddies... If you're Emo and you know it slit your wrists. The others I’ve seen before and a festival is much about the experience and people as it is the bands. Something which download delivers with

I am told however My Chemical got bottled into next week. Which is pleasing. Most pleasing. No I WON'T wear a silly black parade jacket, I preferred the last album, and Emo's already have Reading/Leeds what are they doing at a Metal festival?!! Instead I got very very drunk once more.

Saturdays hangover wasn't too bad. A Yellow. Still, I wanted to see violence as a cathartic penance for my suffering. Walking to the car is pure evil. Its a distance no Man should ever have to walk. Yet to fetch beer we must. We got back to the arena in time to check out Bloodsimple. WOW, what a performance. I've had their album a little while. They're a slightly heavier 36 crazyfists. They jump on stage and wake you up with power riffs and stomping choruses. You can't help but be in awe of the sound they make. I'll be getting their new album.

Then it was time to have a few cold beers in the village and a little shopping (Download has an excellent set of shops, they thought of everything, there is a good day worth of shops you'd struggle to find in any major city).

What follows is one of the greatest possible Metal Music line-ups. Granted not everyone will like the bands here, but as an experience I know no person, regardless of previous music preferences who did not enjoy everything that follows. Except Annie Mac who was physically pleased yesterday when someone chose a silly Radio 1 friendly song over a Metal track. FUCK YOU agenda based radio.

Machine Head... Sorry. Machine FUCKIN Head. You expect them to be amazing, you know they're amazing, and they STILL blow you away consistently. This band should have a much bigger place in Rock History. Their sound is unique, powerful and truly expressive. "Old" resonates through the crowd from the circle pits to the tens of thousands singing along behind. "Imperium" with its long intro and powerful drums and riff destroy and shred every atom between the speakers and our ears. This is music that moves and motivates like no other. It has power, realism, and effect. It hits your ears like a sledgehammer on a wall and demands that you adore it. Worth the admission fee alone.

At this point I could have gone to see Biffy Clyro...

Yeah right. SLAYER are playing. Biffy can kiss my ass, I don't WANT to see or hear them.

Slayer. The name alone carries with it a lot of misconceptions and a lot of prowess. Slayer don't try to be Metal, they just are. Yes they're brutal, yes they use satanic lyrics and yes their pits will leave you in pain. They do however put on one amazing show, and are likeable by just about anyone. Reign in blood broods through the speakers, before carnage ensues in the circle pits. I took a good kicking to the ribs and gave a few. Circle pits are however 100% optional, if you want to watch the show, simply don't run in. Their beat is almost tribal and causes you to move. They access a primal part of your brain and instead of singing "doo da doo doo da loop, du da doo da doo la loop" and moving your arms like a prat you find yourself completely engrossed by this sound, this pulsing beat and the band enjoying every second of a legendary career and following.

Marilyn Manson. The third band in a 4 band run of incredible names. I was actually disappointed. The legendary showman neither shocked nor awed. He played a lot of his newer Radio 1 friendly shit and merely rolled out Disposable Teens, Dope Show, Beautiful People and Fight Song. The latter was quite impressive and looked like the MM of old, but I expected more from such a wonderful performer with a rich history of good albums.

Linkin Park. Headliners, now Radio 1 approved because they started writing radio singles. They came out to One Step Closer and the 120k audience went bananas. For nearly every song except some of the newer ones, the majority of the crowd knew every word. Here is a modern band that will last. Korn are now way down the line-up and selling very little, Limp Bizkit are all but gone, and here Linkin Park are, years after Nu Metal still kicking ass. In The End didn't even need Chester’s superb vocals. Linkin Park are without doubt one of the most accomplished bands musically out there. Their encore of Faint felt much like the music video. Chester screaming down the Mic inches from my face. By the end I had no voice, or energy, and crawled into my tent after some wrestling matches with the boys. Scott won in the final with a jujitsu chokehold on Nick. GG.

Sunday rolls around and I’m smelly. In fact smelly doesn’t cut it. The baby wipes are failing and my hair is forced to live under a hat. I’m sick of burgers and the take away stalls, 4days of festival life is getting exhausting. The only thing that could POSSIBLY keep me going is an incredible line-up.

Oh looky Chiamira are playing! JESUS this band kick ass. Im a huge fan. They make a wall of sound, take the moaning out of the Deftones then speed it up and voila. The pits are BRUTAL, the songs delight the crowd and again draw more than MCR did headlining. Chances are if you're a Kasabian fan you're going to want to check out Marilyn Manson, Linkin Park, and Dragonforce before you progress to Chimaira, but still. If you want to experience Metal in all its glory, you are hard pushed to find a more accomplished band.

Over to the other stage for DevilDriver. This band have a rob zombie esque coolness to their sound. It’s distinctly heavy but at the same time it’s got the movie soundtrack clarity that makes it accessible. Still the lyrical style will scare far too many off this band. Which is unfortunate because they're enjoyable. They also had the BIGGEST pit I've ever seen. It was like a human whirlpool. It reminded me of the stampede scene from The Lion King. It’s the kind of thing that you don't forget in a hurry.

I hit the main stage for Lamb of God, who only make sense when you can hear their lyrics. They're very powerful and have a much cleaner crisper sound than most metal. The beats and guitar chords are sharp and fast. The girl at the Beer tent saw me singing and was asking me a few song titles claiming: "I normally don't like this stuff, but this weekend, I don’t know it just sounds different". Proof purple people, live music is just better.

Honourable mentions go to Stone Sour and Killswitch Engage both bands I’ve seen before and recommend, but I was far too busy getting drunk. I am not an Iron Maiden fan, so Sunday night was about avoiding rioters and having fun. 120 Thousand people descended on a field near an airport in Derbyshire. Five days later they leave tired, dirty and exhilarated. The Download Festival is truly the World’s Greatest.

A message sent to the big screen sums it up better than I could: “Download rocks, the people are chilled and the bands amazing and my dad has a lemon fetish”.

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Better than Christmas

The following contains naughty words... because I'm a G like that.

Fuck work, Fuck moving apartment, Fuck changing addresses, Fuck plans, Fuck fucking doing anything but swearing, getting BLIND drunk and jumping around in a sweaty heap to the loudest Metal bands on the planet. The Download festival is here. *crescendo* *bow* *orgasm* kthx.

When all that stress seems to happen at once, when your car half explodes, when a credit card you use to pay for your internet geekery expires, when moving apartment, having a social life and a full time job is too much to balance without getting so pissed off you could squash hamsters for bubblewrap... THATS when you know you need a festival. Five days of dastardly dirty devious delicious debauchery. Indeed! Drinking dancing duelling bantering all the things that make a festival such a catharsis, such a relief.

It’s like the first piss in the morning after a REALLY big night out and the hangover. It’s like staying in bed just that bit longer than you have to. It’s an excuse to wear hats and not make an effort for nearly a week. Its heaven and it comes but once a year.

I don't need to mention the amazing line-up. I can leave out references to sheer Metal Madness. I hardly touch upon the glory of being free from society, in the campsite of most wonder... this world within worlds because to be there is to know the greatest weekend of all. Glastonbury has its legendary status, Leeds has bigger crowds, V festival is more acceptable... but Download is the daddy. Donnington is where it started with Monsters of Rock. It is the life and soul of festival being. It has the coolest people, a unique vibe and my favourite bands.

To all those who cannot make it, live your life in shame.

To all those who can, see you at the nearby asda for the Half Price Stella ;)