What a weekend!

It included

• 1 Thursday night with my man Ryan hitting up Leeds.
• 1 Friday night hanging in my favorite bar in the world
• 1 Saturday Pajama party with 150 students
• A pub crawl through headingly
• Meeting a whole wad of new people and having more fun than should be legal
• Being lead by a Unicorn on a stick to a bar that was a boat on land
• Meeting a whole lot of old friends, new friends and potential new clients
• Being offered an interview for a job worth 43k a year + car
• Hanging with my best friends throughout
• A viewing of a night at the roxbury
• Having my necklace fixed while in a club by a girl named rose

Wow.

Tranquility

There is a place within us, so majestic, so beautiful and tranquil that our whole daily lives become irrelevant.

We are capeable of feeling existence soley within ourselves, the experience is so powerful our body becomes irrelevant, our mind's thoughts disapear. We experience pure beauty. For some this is a beach with waves crashing, for others it is stars or galaxies, or a temple in China. Maybe for you it is all of the above, but this place exists within you. This is your Majestic Self. Revel in this light, the tranqulility and beauty of who you really are

You are not your bank account
You are not your height
You are not your ability with women

You are the single most amazing thing the universe has ever seen.
You are capeable of moving mountains with desire alone.
You are free, you are alive, you are happy.

You will achieve the object of your desires in life because you will find that within you is the most amazing and wonderful potential. You will find that within you exists the key to understanding. Within you, who you are, right now in this very moment is everything you could ever wish for.

You are on the journey, the journey is the destination, it is how we act today that makes our tomorrow. Take those 15 mins, be inspired, live.

Middle East Misconceptions

There is a difference and a split in the Middle East and one that the USA is aware of and exploiting in Iraq but not across the region. The wahabbi's (mostly linked to Saudi and in more extreme cases AQ) are of the opinion that anything the West does is bad, and should be wiped off the planet (they of course include Israel in this). The only reason the Saudi's don't get louder about it is because the house of Saud needs the USA to avoid being overthrown. Other regimes in the ME, like Syria and Iran are actually much more west facing in their culture and ideals. They too dislike the wahabbi's and generally have nothing against the west. Their major beef is with Israel, and even that is politically motivated to win support in the region.

The Shiite Syria/Iran bloc need to appear hostile to the west to win minds in the ME away from AQ. Now their (Syria/Iran) behaviour lately has been frankly terrible, but in the current state of affairs military force is not an option and rightly so. The old defensive forces of the cold war cannot deal with the complexities of the modern world. Our great mistake with Hamas was in not negotiating with them, if we had simply laid down the condition of "accept and work with Israel and we'll talk to you", we could have saved a lot of problems, and the same goes for Hezbollah. There may have been fighting between the two sides, but both can have a common enemy if we sort out their beefs with Israel. This is the situation we need to get to, winning these states round will take some concessions on our part, but I think we will be surprised by how cooperative they are. Their current behaviour is reactionary not proactive.

It requires us to swallow pride and talk to those who we have de-humanised as terrorists, but it worked in Northern Ireland and The Balklands. Often its the only way to solve Ethnic and nation state issues. Give people a stake in the future and incentivize them to work towards that future. Then we can concentrate on wiping out AQ who are the only real thread we here in the West have.

Iraq needed to happen, Saddam needed to go, and hopefully if we learn anything from the cultural divide in the region... its that we can have common ground and work with some seemingly hostile factions if we incentivize them to do so. We can all take lessons from this. Often our must emotionally and strongly charged beliefs are leading us astray.

On Happiness

I have been lambested in the past for saying the most wonderful thing you can do for the people you know, is to learn to love yourself.

It seems counter intuative on the simple level, but when you stop and realise that all negativity, all hurt or bad things you may ever cause come from inner dis-harmony it makes a lot of sense. Angry people, are sad people who do not know or love themselves. They may blame external factors, but this simply adds to the issue.

At your very core is silent happiness, and a sense of being alive.
At your very core is the mat-ernal happiness.
At your very core is a connection to life that is pure white light

Meditation, silence, all forms of spirituality, whilst greeted with cynicism by the mind, are often the greatest ointment for our ils. When we go into ourselves we gain true perspective, we loose all worry, worry is a prison imposed by the minds social barriers. Happiness is within all of us, when we were children we were happy, we lived in the now, if something mad us sad, as soon as we forgot about it we defaulted to happy.

Finding this in yourself will strengthen all relationships you have, it will allow you to accept and love yourself for all your mistakes. All your fears will leave and you will find it easier to trust and love others, if you are not hiding anything.

Thoughts

The very word 'Christianity' is a misunderstanding — in truth, there was only one Christian, and he died on the cross - Friedrich Nietzsche

Ok so that's a little harsh on the Christians, but I've used it to make a point. We often hold ourselves to standards that may not entirely fit who we are.

Honesty is the key to freedom and happiness. The two are mutually linked and inseparable. Trying only to please people shows a mistrust in yourself. Who you are should please them, any actions you take should be natural and honest. Any grooming for social status only serves to make us look weaker. We all make mistakes, we are all human, yet we have been left the impression by past generations that pleasing others will reflect well upon ourselves. We have been lead to believe that servitude is a positive. This is absurd. There are three area's we must consistently work on to ensure our social ability does not hinder our lives. Love for our self Love for others. Responsibility. All THREE are essential. Many people have the last two, and are deeply unhappy without realising until its too late.

The colloquial revolution

There has been an immense amount of hype surrounding the use of blogs and independent media taking over. Much of which is yet to come to fruition, however I did stumble across something the other day that struck me. The tide of authoritative and colloquial news and business speak seems to have turned.

Microsoft have shifted a lot of their focus internally for the XBOX360 to what they are calling "Dev Luv". This is a title that makes corporate emails and is used in business meetings. Ten years ago it would be unimaginable that anyone could stray so far from the accepted norms. Then there was marketing speak, which brought out a new buzzword every week. At last the cultural revolution has begun. Companies have realised they can have a personality, and even be funny, whilst remaining very serious and professional. I predict many will follow this lead, and a LOT can be learned from it.

In our every day dealings we can maintain a strong presence without being aloof or distant. Indeed being aloof now works as a disadvantage; a strong personality is an essential requirement for strong leadership. Do not hide who you are, the social constructs that use to exist to confine us are lifting, and showing personality can be a massive benefit. We are social animals and we should use that gift to our advantage.

London Baby!

Yeah boi, I'm in London for the weekend. Business AND pleasure ;)

Actual random thoughts

Ok so the prior post turned into a rant again. I'm a rantalicious type of guy, it makes me happy in my special place. That said I have a lot of energy, and thats because I have a lot of mass (at least 14 stone of mass). Since Einstein says E=mc² which literally means Mass is energy squared by the speed of light. I have an abundence of energy! We really are beings of energy, no matter how physical we appear. That Einstein guy, what a goon but we love him. Classic hair do.

IRC Quote of the day
Pedlya So I got this really big usb drive, and me and my dad are trying to put shit on it.
*Simpe has entered #cancelled
Pedlya my dad said its too big, and I guess it was
Pedlya so my mom comes in and is trying to push it in...it still didnt go in
Pedlya my brother uses his and it fits fine, so we just use his
* Simpe has quit IRC (I dont want to know dude... )

Stream of thoughts

To get the most out of someone you have to be willing to let them fail. You have to put the ball in their hands and empower them to run with it, for better or worse. I have seen and experienced both types of expectation, and from this learned which motivates me better and become a better motivator as a result. In larger companies often being the young enthusiastic and capable newcomer is not as welcomed as it would seem. Even in young projects, anything that involves large scale has Dogma which takes time to assimilate. Plans of action and good coaching whilst seeming like overhead and time wasting to those already at work, are utterly essential to a project keeping focus. Political in fighting within organisations occurs at all levels further abstracting people from the product and their customer. True customer focus large in business is very rare.

In life we often get lost in the quagmire of daily tasks (giggity), instead of keeping focus on our longer term goals. We find ourselves working with the task and completing the task well, but perhaps not always to the best benefit of our overall goal. For example, if we intend to create a piece of software or other product, we work very hard on the site but not the documentation. Then when the customer wants to use the product and it breaks, we spent so much time designing the best product we could that we lost focus of what the customer needs.

What do we need from life, and how does that differ from what we want, or more accurately, what we think we want. Do we need financial discipline when what we want is more money? Do we need to keep perspective when what we want is to get overly involved in a task? In the daily grind of life we loose the bigger picture very easily. Yet one of the most common traits in the successful is to not get lost in the excitement of an idea, to keep the skeptic or third person perspective. Consider other points of view, and how an idea, thought or possibility fits in to the wider world. You may have the greatest most intricate electronics MP3 gadget design ever, but who cares if it costs more than the iPOD and isn't as easy to use? Perspective is essential.

A question

The question Does consciousness arise from the universe, or does the universe arise from consciousness?

They are one and the same thing, the universe exists with rules laws and conciousness inherant. Life itself is an extension of universal conciousness. Realising that the universe holds all the answers already allows you to stop looking for them and to start seeing them. To use a programming analogy, its like when you stop working on the bug thats been annoying you all day and you go to sleep, then the answer hits you. Your mind, body and supra concious (I dislike the term subconcious) are tuned into the universe in ways your five senses cannot perceive. When we act on instinct and live in the now, we achieve far greater perspective than we have stuck in our intellectual frontal lobe.

I discovered this earlier today and found myself giggling uncontrollably. I really do have an odd sense of humor. Lately I've found that I'm not the only one and indeed that the Family Guy fans of the world are out there!

I have been drinking Mountain Dew and watching both The Boondocks and Robot Chicken an awful lot lately. This may not sound strange unless you know I reside in the UK where none of the above is widely available. There is great comedy out there that is being missed people! This isn't right, its left of Che Guverra! Damn lefties with their leftorium and left handed scissors. I'm still confused over the whole Aqua Teen Hunger Force thing though. To me this show looks like a recipe for loosing my face in a freak confusion incident involving a sledgehammer. You know, when a show is so odd on first viewing that you really do feel like the guy in the lovely picture? (Which shall henceforth be known as "the lovely picture".

Anyhoo, slap any of the aforementioned odities into wikipedia and/or playusa.com if you are a fan of the whacky and the odd. Then head to americansoda.co.uk and order yourself a crate of Mountain Dew. Only THEN can you call yourself Mr Duckypants.

Charm

Charm is an interesting word, its one which carries different meanings for different people. Usually it is held in a positive light, but with a wink at the negative; yet still liked. The interesting character of the word leads well to its use in social situations. What is it about the charming, the crafty and the behavior that would be unacceptable if it were not pulled of well? Why does it affect us like it does, and why is it a useful tool in our arsenal of social success?

Charm seems counter-intuitive, being purposefully cheeky with the intention of being liked. Or on the other hand, being purposefully caring and attentive but from a position of social dominance. Why is it we appreciate someone who can convey their social superiority without actively challenging us? Well, it would appear the answer is exactly that. We can not be jealous of those who are charming because they have "groomed" us as it were, by acting in a way we will appreciate. They slide straight through the radar of mistrust we hold for strangers and assure us with a sense of familiarity.

Familiarity breeds contempt, yet that contempt in most healthy social relationships takes a playful form and is not meant. Our politeness to long term acquaintances and friends often has a hint of familiar humor. When we as social animals can trigger these reactions within moments of meeting complete strangers we have at our disposal a very useful tool. The good news is that charm can be learned, like all behavior it is intrinsically learned. We are either taught by our environment growing up that charm is a successful trait, or we choose to incorporate it into who we are.

This means, that at all times our posture should be strong, and that if we do supplicate/help someone else we ensure they know our time is valuable and not free. They in turn will value our help more. We should be conscious of our facial expressions and learn what social triggers we can achieve with a half smile, the use of eyebrow raises and chin positioning. Our social circle is our playing ground, we can hold any position in that circle we wish to have. Among new people it is even easier, assume you hold all the cards to their potential success and realize they would not even be interacting with you if they did not have something to gain. You have unlimited power, unlimited potential; awaken your charm and live easier.

Idea's

Some great quotes I came across... umm... Discovered. Read and digest each of these, and think of where they apply to your life.

• Diplomacy is the art of letting someone else get your way.
• No great man ever complains of want of opportunity.
• Truth often suffers more by the heat of its defenders than the arguments of its opposers.
• You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses.
• Charity is injurious unless it helps the recipient to become independent of it.
• What I do today is important because I am paying a day of my life for it. What I accomplish must be worthwhile because the price is high.
• It is a funny thing about life: if you refuse to accept anything but the best you very often get it.
• He who foresees calamities suffers them twice over (<-- God I can relate to that)
• In the province of the mind, what one believes to be true either is true or becomes true
• The purpose of life is a life of purpose.
• Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.
• There is one thing stronger that all the armies in the world; and that is an idea whose time has come

We are each of us angels with only one wing, and we can only fly by embracing one another.
-Luciano de Crescenzo

A simple question

A question was posed to me as follows, and I thought the answer worth sharing.

Q: If one truly believes death is the absolute end, what's the point in trying to live a better life?

A: It sure as hell gives me a seratonin and endorphine boost doing so. You will naturally feel better about yourself after you achieve. Junkies and criminals are the saddes people on earth. I seek happiness. Death is irrelevant to how I live.

Infinity and the Universe

Infinity is a pretty simple concept that my 8 year old sister understands. Basically infinity is a shitload of anything/everything, and Wherever or however you view infinity it will always look like a shitload. Look at it from another angle, and its still a whole shitload. Basically its a lot of stuff.

Remember though that the universe to a frog is its pond and whatever may lie beyond. Whatever lies beyond that may not be seen or known about, but we can assume it stretches to infinity because we have not seen its edges. Yet is this logical? When our universe appears to have a beginning (according to Hubble), then it could potentially have an end. The beginning and end may not fit with our human and socially imposed ideas of beginnings and ends because of the nature of time and space (which we know is affected by gravity). It is not difficult then to imagine that a supermassive singularity of gravititional pull could swallow both space and time into a white hole, and then explode it all back out again.

Indeed what is to say there are not other universes outside our own, or even within our own that we cannot see. We exist in 4D, but I have seen theory (M Theory) that suggests the extraverse exists on an 11 dimensional plane. The reaction between membranes of energy in this 11 dimensional extraverse could trigger reactions in certain dimensions such as spawning universes. Spawning a universe may be as common as air molecules here on earth.

Within society we live in a world where its 2006, up is up and down is down. Yet all we have to do is leave our tiny planet and that is no longer true. As such we comprehend everything in our lives through this lexicon, despite being able to comprehend many different ideas some of us still are choked by this very boundary to thought. When we see something that awe's us our human socially conditioned mind attributes it to a great power. This is something societies have done for thousands of years, but it has no bearing on the actual truth. The year is actually something like 4,540,002,006 here on earth and 12,540,002,006 for our universe. A lot can happen in that time, much of which we understand.

A lot has happened to get us where we are, a lot that we can understand. The human mind has unlimited potential if you let go of your every day boundaries.

Guidance

The hardest part about teaching is you have to allow people to make mistakes. The hardest part about learning is that you have to make mistakes. The most vital part of learning is that you must make mistakes.

Birthday Season

Anyone noticed that this time of year has more birthdays per week than Groundhog day at McDonalds? They're everywhere, everyone got older latley, including me! Although the virtues and advantages of being 22 haven't quite set in just yet, the sunshine is more than making up for it. I have a new car, which has brought a sense of change to my universe. I have a sense that tomorrow I'm going to push a couple of websites in a good direction, and secure a little more private work. Alas my dream of being a freelance "dude" appears to be taking shape.

I've always been able to come up with unique ideas and solve problems. I've always been able to start and finish projects that most would never attempt. The useage of both these talents is something that fits around my need to stay up late and party a whole lot :D

On the other hand I just got an offer to work in Central NJ for quote "Good money". I'm on the launch pad, the question is which direction to explode into.

Childhood values

Thinking whilst on the throne, I remembered an experience from the age of about 6 or 7. We were assembled in the main play hall which seemed absolutely huge at the time, and split into small groups to be taught. At that age, you don't really question why you are no longer in the class room, you just accept the opportunity to be away from the desk.

Gathered around in a group of 5 or so, we were assigned to what appeared to be a teacher, around a small board on which we would stick pieces of paper with words written on them. The catch was that we first had to bid for these words with Monopoly money. The words all represented a value, so for example we could bid for "Good Job", "Nice House", "Good Family", "Good Health", "Happiness". There were two of each, meaning there was an element of competition for what could be considered the best. Here's the twist, I bid all of my money on "Good Job" which of course the Charity worker or whatever she was chose to "talk" with me about. She asked if that really was the best value...

In my best possible articulated words I tried to explain that a Good Job meant I was ambitious, and could thusly afford the Nice House and Good health. The Good Family and Happiness were not something I would ever choose to try to buy with money. Of course she didn't get it, and tried to install the values of happiness over money upon me. I never thought about it until earlier today, but it struck me that we often try to force our values on to others. Even if our values may help them in a myriad of ways. Yet often a person has to experience failure before they are willing to succeed. Not all of us has an inbuilt drive to achieve. It is a lack of compassion that compels us to not allow our loved ones to experience failure, because if we did, even though it is difficult, we would be doing them a service.

Thought of the Day

Politics and religion are still only just being separated, and their separation is embryonic at best. Politics by the very nature of the beast sneaks into other areas of life. It would be handy for all involved if we could check the pre-conceptions and preconditions at the door. Yet we are emotional creatures attached to our beliefs like junkies to the drug...

I wanna redecorate my room so bad. I'm a style concious guy living in a room created without style. Its just wrong, nay; a crime!

Hotter than 10,000 suns!

Yeah ok so it's warm and you're feeling lathargic? Me too (shh). Chapel Allerton in Leeds is simply stunning, especially in the sun. Sun shine, hot weather, heeeeeat!

Adversity

There are two ways to face adversity in life. One is to push the big red button that says "Don't push" and go into free fall, all the while feeling justified in your actions because of how someone else treated you. The other is to maintain universal perspective.

When you have universal perspective, you see that anger is simply refusal to accept a given situation. Yet when you live in the moment, you realize that you cannot change something that has happened; You CAN change, how you react to that something. When the whole world seems against you, it never, EVER is. You simply feel like it is because you are an imperfect creature. When you remember that there is a right way and wrong way to behave, you can CHOOSE to lead the majestic life. You choose to be the majestic self.

We are tribal creatures, we are all connected. If we treat each other better, we in turn will be treated better. Become The Majestic Self, and lead by example. Become your highest self, and feel true happiness. Become the person you always could have been, by REAL-ising who you truly are.

Universal awakening

The world around you has many Universal laws. Some laws have been discovered by science (Entropy, Thermodynamics, Newtons law etc). Some of which are more abstract and balanced without a direct measuring stick or mathematic equation. It is these laws we must grasp in order to make the most of our daily lives.

Nature has many simple laws that most of us now accept. Survival of the fittest, combined with limited food resources for overpopulated species results in a natural ecosystem balance. Nature has a natural yin/yang quality. Any action has a reaction, but it may not be equal and there could be a delay involved. The key misunderstanding of cause and effect thinking is that reactions should be instant. The only exception to any universal law is where the human ego or mind is involved. The human mind clouds our natural instinct, our highest self instinctively knows how to react in certain situations. Yet our greed, our beliefs our low self esteem will often get in the way of acting how we should in a certain situation.

The sad thing is we already know how to be successful in any walk of life, we just have to remember to use our instinct.

The Universe will try to address any imbalance in your life with warnings. These warnings appear to be, and by all logic are random events. Yet it is our instinctual reaction to them which gives them their meaning. If you see a crash or have a near death experience there are lessons you can learn from that moment. Instantly you will feel shock, but then a bout of reflective thought that causes you to re-evaluate your principles and beliefs. This may also happen in the wake of losing a loved one, yet how many of us can say these lessons truly stick with us? The conclusions you come to in these moments of reflection are often close to those of truly happy, enlightened and successful people.

Why do we then discard these lessons and impose our socially imposed beliefs as soon as the shock has left us? Why does our ego overtake our instinct once more? Because we allow it to. Listen to your highest self, the self that is naturally in touch with the universe, the self that was shaped and is a direct result of the universe itself. This is already within you. Principles are a substitute for an ability to think for yourself. Challenge who you are, challenge what you think, no matter how long you have thought something. We cling to our principles like old friends, the give us comfort, but they ultimately lead us astray. You have the key to your soul, the key to all the universes pleasures, you just need to re-mind yourself how to over-ride your ego. Happy Summer people!

Gap in the Silence

Download Festival 2006...

My camera died but MAN I had a good time. Its all too easy with waterpistols and cold beer to entice and tease people with... Oh and we had a guy dressed as Mr T with us too.

As for the bands. Holy crap.

Soulfly were simply stunning as ever, renditions of my favorite songs pretty much and we even got a rendition of Sepultura's "Roots"!!!! Tool nearly sent me to sleep but are excellent musicians, would have been better joining the stoners on the hill for this one I guess though. Soil sounded good and were very watchable, but they basically have one song... highlight was Jada Pinket Smiths appearance for a few growls. Thats a woman right there.

Saturday, Trivium, Korn and Metallica. What more needs to be said? Metallica played the entire Master of Puppets album and ran long. What a show. Jonathan Davis was apparently taken ill so we got the lead singers of other bands including skindred, trivium and slipknots corey taylor. It was quite impressive although there was a weird man in a bunny suit bouncing around on stage. The rumour is that was Davis and he was either drunk or they're trying to top lasts years "Lars is ill" talking point.

Sunday. I'll start by saying Guns and Roses SUCK, I never liked them much and they pleased all the people who turned up to see them. I thought they sounded poor though. Dragonforce and In Flames were phenomenal live, especially the latter. An excellent performance and they won themselves some fans with that show.

Other highlights include shooting pedestrians in Long Eaton with supersoakers from my sunroof. Daily Breakfasts at Asda. An excellent shopping area on the campsite. The general banter between the people I was stayin with. "Matt yeah, did you enjoy; SHUT UP!" "Fuckins Maaah", playing football in 30 degree heat and "A brews a brew!"

In May 2005...

In May 2005 I had many idea's no websites launched. In June 2005 I have two hosted websites with URLs and adding content all the time.

Life is good.

Those slow moments

You will go through a week, or month, or maybe even several months in life where it feels like progress is hard to come by. Like no matter how hard you try, nothing seems to work. Those clouds just look too thick to ever part.

Let me promise you, summer always comes, summer WILL come. You will find in-spiration within yourself. The universe will reward you for trying so hard and putting so much positive energy into it. Often the results for hardwork are not seen for months after the work itself. This is not something to worry about. Relax, stay confident and believe. It will come.

Wear your soul

The word soul carries a lot of additional meaning that it doesn't have to. When relating to the self, the soul is the combination of all sides, situations and spheres of consciousness you may ever project or experience. Your soul is who you are at the very core of your personality, it is shaped by your childhood and influences every state of your being. It is has the simplest desires and the warmest of emotions.

When you wear your soul you recognize and admit these simple requests made by your emotional consciousness. You are being the simplest form of yourself and also your highest self. Many of us loose what is good in life by throwing complexity at simple issues. We will argue over details when the pain is in the simple emotion. With people our emotions are always trying to connect, but our minds will be tripped up by such trivialities as language.

Wear my soul, and call me a liar.

When you wear your soul you are honest and truthful. When you wear your soul people will react in a positive way. When you wear your soul you separate the image of yourself from yourself. Many of us hold a false self image in our heads, this is shaped by who we were. Yet every day we progress and become something new. Yesterdays truth is today's bullshit. What was true yesterday may no longer be true. If you are confident today, this is how the world see's you. Yet a negative self image will damage your opinion of that situation. If you wear your soul, a negative self image is irrelevant, you KNOW, on every level that you ARE confident and people LOVE your company.

Your soul can commit no crimes, only in misreading our souls to we do wrong. Listen to your highest most basic self, connect with who you are at the core of your being. Wear your soul, wear your desires, wear who you REALLY are underneath and social or personal barriers. Let that person shine. The whole universe will benefit from it.

A song about persistence

Thrice - Stare at the sun

I sit here clutching useless lists
And keys for doors that don't exist
I crack my teeth on pearls
I tear into the history
Show me what it means to me in this world
Yeah in this world

'Cause I am due for a miracle
I'm waiting for a sign
I'll stare straight into the sun
And I won't close my eyes
Till I understand or go blind

I see the parts but not the whole
I study saints and scholars both
No perfect plan unfurls
Do I trust my heart or just my mind
Why is truth so hard to find in this world
Yeah in this world

'Cause I am due for a miracle
I'm waiting for a sign
I'll stare straight into the sun
And I won't close my eyes
Till I understand or go blind (till I understand or go blind)

I know that there's a point I've missed
A shrine or stone I haven't kissed
A scar that never graced my wrist
A mirror that hasn't met my fist
But I can't help feeling like I'm

Due for a miracle
I'm waiting for a sign (waiting for a sign)
I'll stare straight into the sun
And I won't close my eyes (and I won't close my eyes)

Huzzah!

Last night was awesome. Take my word for it, and rejoice.

Obscure Alliance

I have found an obscure alliance between achievement and laziness. Laziness dictates that you do nothing, and enjoy life, whereas achievement dictates that do something and forget about enjoyment. What happens when you take the best from both is you enjoy working.

The key is working towards something you enjoy. Now responsibilities will always get in the way, and I will be the first to admit practicalities often get in the way of progress. Yet if we are honest, we are all the best excuse makers in the world. We justify not wanting to do something as not being able to do something. This is a lie to ourselves and a lie to the universe. We can hide the lie from everyone but the validation of achievement. Achievement measures how honest we have been and how hard we have worked.

There is always something we can do. Always a way to progress. We have the choice, the capability we just need to find the desire. This is where we need inspiration. This is what my blog is for. To inspire myself and yourself. Now do something you enjoy, that will benefit you

Quotes of the day

Anger is a resistance to WHAT IS. You are resisting REALITY, rather than accepting it.

When you can honor and love and ACCEPT yourself fully and completely, it becomes EASY to accept the rest of the world just the way it is.

Realising potential, need help?

Adversity is something that will face any and all of us at some point in our lives. It’s not easy being a citizen in western society who “has it all”. Usually most people have to make some kind of sacrifice. Yet very few people use that knowledge to proactively manage their desires. People will not do something because “they don’t have time”, or most likely of all they don’t feel they can. This mindset is something that absolutely must be destroyed.

However bad or difficult it is for you to go out there and achieve your dream, someone, somewhere did it under worse circumstances. The only difference is they had more desire and pushed themselves further. If they can do it why can’t we? We can, and we will because it is what we want and nothing will get in our way.

If the answer seems so simple then why aren’t we all such high achievers? Usually its not just ourselves that hold ourselves back, other people subconsciously share their low esteem with us. If a persons self esteem can be thought of as glass of water, most people only know how to drink from your glass without filling it back up. It is surprisingly rare to find anyone who will actually believe in you fully. It’s a social disease that we are more worried about failure than the potential of success.

For example, the first time you said to your parents you wanted to be an actor, or footballer or perhaps astronaut. What was their reaction? They would have probably laughed at the child like innocence with which it was said but really not gotten behind you. If you try saying to a colleague/friend that you want to be an astronaut see what their reaction is. These people can be loving, great and wonderful people who would do anything for you but they are lacking an essential skill. They cannot fill your glass enough for you to realise your potential.

Realising the potential to self improve is half the battle, especially if the preceding paragraphs rings true with your own history. If we can learn to self improve, that in turn opens to the door to allow us to achieve anything we want. Indeed self improvement is paramount to success.

Quote of the day

If there is something about me I don't like, I'll change... If there is something about me you don't like, fuck you

Persistence: The Ultimate Virtue?

Failure cannot compete with persistence. It gets weak at the knees and all jealous whenever it is faced with persistence. Failure likes to control people, convince them to not bother, to give up, to stop believing. We know better.

I have been pushing hard for a long time to be able to launch businesses, be successful socially, and have a strong physique. It's taken me 6 years to get the kind of results I wanted when I started out and along the way I admit at times I felt it was impossible. Now I'm over the first hurdle, I have a plan and its starting to fall into place. To get this far took one thing persistence, and being impervious to discussion. "Is that all there is to life?" some will say, others "I just couldn't be arsed with that"... They do not know the secret of persistence.

Keep looking, keep trying new avenues, even when you think there is no possible way to do something, and what you have is a complete mess. Google every possible combination of your problem. You will find the light, and will get that little bit further. It reminds me of watching downloads on a 56k modem. Slow, agonizing, but every gain even small is a victory. The design of one of my sites just wouldn't work, and I couldn't for the life in me think how I could make it function and still look good. I spent 3 hours searching the web for the right code and then suddenly... One copy and paste and BOOM! Its beautiful again. Next task? Get the site working in IE... stupid browser.

Lesson for the day? Every day you have a hurdle to overcome, and when you do, there will be another waiting for you. Progress is having the desire to keep going even when you want to rest from the last hurdle.

Well well

What a weekend, and an inspired early week. Firstly, that FA cup final, how good?! I was lucky to have a voice by saturday evening. I also finally managed to get text on to one of my website designs, as soon as I tidy it up a little I'm ready to launch it. I'm so close to the future I see myself in every day.

Then there is wednesday evening which should be very fun, and thursday the photoshoot which should ensure me some model work too. Who works in an office any more? :D

Pre-birth Experience

When I'm at my best things just flow. I find the best way to achieve this state is to think "FUCK IT" and throw myself in the deep end. Its like I have become the social natural I always should have been.

The Mind is a prison constructed of positive and negative experiences, it exists on top of an emotional framework that cannot talk the Minds language and vice versa. Becoming truly emotionally honest with yourself, your desires on who you are is the most liberating experience in the universe. Acting on my desires was my issue for a long time. I admitted them verbally and knew they were there and tried to express them, but loosing your mind is essential... Loose all thought; act.

This is where it gets nuts...

There was an eternity before you were born where you existed in a happy pure emotional state. You were free yet bound by warmth, you had no confines and no concept of anything around you but felt loved. Then you were born... Meditation is attempting to get back to this state, our highest self is that state of being. When we become in touch with this self we our not thinking with our conscious minds, but being who we are... emotional, rational and life source

In effect it is letting go of the conscious that all "higher" experiences come from. They are actually the simplest experiences, the most basic, the most fetal. The people who meditate longest, monks, or David Blaine in his box feel a sense of unity with the world, a warmth and a happiness that they forget about in society or in daily life. They touch the sensation of being alive and are happy

We cloud this with our daily existence and cognitive masturbation as people who self analyze. Our daily lives get in the way of the greatest experience we can possibly have, being alive.

We need to simply be

Update

I really am poor at sticking to updating something like a blog every day.

Really poor. It seems the UK has discovered the joys of sunny weather and decided to make us all feel a lot better. I've never been one to suffer from seasonal affective disorder, but when the sun is out don't you just feel better? The download festival is now less than 1 month away, its going to be absolutley awesome. Great bands (hopefully) great weather, and great people. The banter that always comes out of the download festival is amazing, I'll have my best friends and favorite bands all in once place live!

When belief becomes reality

It's long been my opinion that for some reason everything I wish for will come to me, it will just take a while and frustrate the baked beans out of me in the process. We have all been there, stuck in the middle of a life change, a work change, a sex change... We know it has to be done, we believe in it with all our heart yet the time it takes throws doubt at us.

Yet despite this you keep your head down, you keep going, because YOU BELIEVE. You have the DESIRE and definite purpose. You know that above all things it would be a crime to give up. A day off is a mistake, quitting full time is a travesty. Never quit, acknowledge failures and move on to the next effort. Failure cannot possibly compete with persistence. Persistence will always win out by its very nature. Last night the months of practice and almost achievement, half victories and nearly examples became a cast iron victory. My new social skill set treated me to a wonderful night and worked an absolute charm. My social observations showed me everything I was doing was working, and even though my hair was ruined (something that has made me go home in the past and quit), I ended up getting the phone number of an extremely attractive hard to talk to girl... Who of course turned out to be really sweet when you get to know her. Never underestimate the power of the backturn.

Last night was so much fun, I had great people, a great city and great times. I have a new website idea and an incredible design that I'm very proud of. There is no option, I will be an amazing success because I BELIEVE.

Sunshine

Isn't it amazing how much better you feel when the sun shines? I mean I don't need the sun to feel good, in fact there was a time in my life when I used to hide from it because it burned me as a kid. Yet, everything just looks prettier. I feel inspired by being alive, lucky to exist and happier with every breath of air. There is no reason for this general feeling other than the sheer potential I see for the next 5 years of my life. I will be a success, of that there is no question. To achieve that requires determination, and persistent hard work.

Yet today I have an overwhelming urge to sit back and enjoy life... After all I am alive.

Practice makes... Boredom!

Practice makes boredom, results make excitement. Therein lies a nasty catch 22. In order to get results often you have to practice, or do you? Something strange I have observed is that when you throw yourself in the deep end and just "have a go" you will often surprise yourself with how well you perform. Yet there are many things in life you simply cannot achieve without some form of practice. My personal solution is to find a middle ground. Any form of practice where I'm doing the same thing over and over frustrates me. Yet a general pattern of activity where I can be creative is something I love to practice.

Take web development. Basically there are three or four main ways to make a website, beyond that everything is up to you. I adore coming up with a new design, giving birth to the latest creation and being lit by its awesome stature. I despise testing it for bugs, fixing broken links and checking for spelling errors. I'm an ideas guy, I'm built to inspire others and create. I can take an idea and turn it into 10x the idea in seconds. Implementation is best left to someone else.

The same is true socially, with practice you improve. You can do the same thing literally word for word, time and time again but therein you loose the golden goose (and the golden goose is beautiful). Instead I find seeing what you can come up with, and then reusing common conversations when things stall with new people, or potential business partners will help build a good level of rapport. In short, I think for me personally, trial and error is far better than pure practice.

Lazy days

When you have been awake silly hours and get home long after the sun has risen, the following day is assured to be less productive that it could have been. This bugs me mainly when I have work coming up the day after. The weekend has been a good one as ever, I even discovered a jacket I forgot about and rocked it like no other, yet I have a lingering sense of being on the edge of greatness whilst continually improving. It's an uphill battle and I haven't quite hit the apex just yet. The apex always seems one day away. I'll never quit, but one day, needs to be today already...

When things just work...

Remember that Honda advert? With all the screws and car parts coming together like some crazy Mouse Trap contraption? I loved it because there was so much happening, it was so intricate yet so very elegant and simple. The best things in life appear to have this duality to them. The greatest songs have a supra-conscious effect on you, and yet probably a very simple and effective hook that just sounds good. The most fun in life usually comes from the simplest most playful activities yet we give them the most meaning when we look back at them.

My social life is like this lately. I can see the intricate details behind how everything works, its like seeing the code behind the matrix. I love the detail of it all, yet at the same time my emotional reaction is the real kicker. The FEELING of social ability and fun is one of the greatest things in life. The ability to have people come to you because you are the fun person and they are drawn to you like a magnet is something I didn't always have. I am absolutely reveling in this discovery. Last night was a classic example, me and my man Tom were easily the coolest guys in the place it all seemed too easy. I love being alive, and know everything will fall into place for me.

Repetition

Am I the only person in the world who finds any sort of repetition excruciating? If its copying and pasting, daily tasks, commuting. I know some who find comfort in routine, and for some things a routine is handy but I get bored so easily. I have a consistent urge to be acting in a creative or useful way. If I'm not contributing towards my own or somebody else's future success I feel stagnant. Very irritating. I need a maid, preferably very attractive with a skimpy outfit ;)

Today I've been mostly working on my website project. I noticed a link that was broken across about 15 different files. So after opening them all, changing the link and saving them all... I noticed another broken link! Such is the pain of doing things in notepad...

I'm thinking about hitting huddersfield tonight, preppy style. The preppy thing is working for me again. I go through stages where I want to be smart, then I want to be dressed down. Right now every is starting to dress down for spring summer, so I'm wanting to go smart again. I'm just a rebel without a cause...

I cannot wait for the download festival

The ticket is booked, I'll be buying the tent soon. It's my summer break, with a crapload of my favorite bands.

New blog!

26-04-2006

Hi welcome to my new blog. I finally decided to nestle into this whole blogging thing because I enjoy excreting my stream of thoughts too much to let them pass. This weekend went very VERY well. I showed the boys around Leeds on my own, and things are progressing on that front very well. It's just a matter of confirming closes and not time bridging quite as often as I have been... The preppy thing is working for me latley and I'm encouraged by the response its gotten. My two main side projects are both pretty stalled. PC guy is stalled because Danny is hiding from me. I might just sell the damn idea since it was my idea!

The Self help thing requires a lot of content to be written up and it looks like its going to have to be me that does it. I'm gonna set an ultimatum, until I get some more work done by others I'm not opening anything to do with the business and banks.

Pheonix's test text is absolute genius. It worked a charm, and I intend to try it on more people.

Catchup time

Catchup...
Orginally posted 22-04-06

Ok so I've been falling behind on the daily entry thing, this is to make up for that. I'm heading out to leeds tonight to meet absolutley everyone under the sun. It's going to be another legendary CarpePM night, and I feel like there is a lot of success heading my way. I'm in a great mood. It's also a buddies borthday so it will be fun to hang with them, the guy owes me, I GOT HIM LAID! Simply by winging him in once... man... He owes me big time.

#3 Procrastination
	Date Posted: 04-20-2006 at 01:23 PM -
I want to defenstrate my procrastinantion. Help me people. I'm terrible for it, I have a project I'm working on and instead of diving nose first into it and messing with the code I've contented to find a solution and surf for 20 mins. My comprimise is writing in my journal about it. I'm trying to figure out News Rover the newsgroup software, man they could make it a little more user friendly to say the least. I spent £100 on a headset to talk on skype and while I was there I bought the hard drive I've needed for months. I'm beyond skint right now its silly. Some of my money making idea's absolutley have to come through, my career seems faded in the background right now. I'm all about making a success of my life's work. I can't wait for some more movement. I'm dying to get to the chicago bootcamp, but its all money problems stopping me, it's insane. I've felt like I've been on the virge of greatness for so long, others see me as that person. It's time to deliver.

*YAWN* Early

Date Posted: 04-19-2006 at 09:50 AM -

Getting to work early sucks like a dyson in space. I'm not cut out for this early start business, but yet at the same time I get far more done, simply because I get bored of doing nothing after a couple of hours. Look out a Sydlewave! Cat is so darned funky, having msn messages from cool people I've met since entering the community does make the early part of the day start a little better. I had a mini ephiphany yesterday while talking to Mav. It seems that I seem to loose my way, or my commitment mid sarge, ot before the day 2. I need to push for closes with the girls that REALLY matter. Once I have those, work on getting and doing well in a day 2 with them. Most of the time I've been time bridging when I should have been number closing. I did this because I knew I hadn't built enough comfort. Mav sent me a really interesting document on building deeper and wider rapport. Level 1: A2 like story Level 2: Childhood like story, bringing in emotions Level 3: Personal story, show vulnerability Level 4: Blow her mind with your personality depth I'm capeable of all of the above, I just haven't been using much more than Level 1. So attraction was built and I was escalating kino while conversation was pretty much on the same level. Isolating is a requirement too, I need to bounce even in the same venue. Danny was supposed to join me at the gym yesterday, didn't turn up, seems he has made his choice to NOT have an awesome body when he goes to AUS. I was quite disapointed tbh, I could have used the spotter on the bench, I'm doing quite well latley and I don't want to regress at all. Harlequin should be free to work on the new CarpePM site soon, YAY! We're both dying to get to Chi town this June, but finances are making that difficult. Must do more cardio at the gym tonight, no matter how late it makes me, screw those guys, they hardly turn up sometimes, so cardio required, then go nuts on the back and legs. Not sure wether to bother with steph OR clare since they both seem to be all over the place latley, sod them. As for the uni girls that are heading back soon, I might send them a teaser txt, see if anything comes of it. Edit: Sycronicity moment of the day. I just finish that paragraph and a David D email comes through about keeping a woman interested in you.

I'm a little teapot
	Date Posted: 04-18-2006 at 02:26 PM -
So I have to start a Journal, I'm forcing myself. I need an outlet for my strem of conciousness because otherwise it would be forever lost. It struck me today that music can have a profound effect on your ability to see the world differently. I often check out my favourite toons while on the commute to Leeds, and find myself at my most inspired in those moments. I fill my calendar with idea's, thoughts and musings. We as a species need to use these moments to our best advantage, when we walk the path of inspiration it is essential we utilize the opportunity. So yeah, sunday night was fun, bouncing around Halifax with fellow Harlequinja's. Shame I couldn't spend more time catching up with some of my local buds, but there will be ample time for that when I'm a millionaire playboy. It's weird being on lots of time bridges at once, I'm spoilt for choice with girls, and they cancel each other out. Its nuts. The 7s are all over me, and the 9s are in the distance shooting IOIs at me. I need a sign that says "shut up and shag me"... heh. Anyhoo, life is good, I can code PHP! WOOO! Go me.