Spot the NLP

When women are holding out sex they think they are saying "I am powerful, you want me despite me not having sex with you". What they're actually saying is "The only power I have, is the biology I was born with". Not realising what a huge turn off that is.

There are two stereotypes that must first be addressed. Firstly. Yes there are a lot of guys out there who are just after sex, and will manipulate to do so. Being burned by this a girl quickly learns that if she holds out those guys that SHE DOESNT WANT, stay interested in her. She is now successfully failing and getting what she wants. Secondly. Yes there are a lot of girls who sleep around to make themselves feel better about being unable to make a connection with someone. They replace the emotional black hole with a sexual rainbow. Like any drug however, the endorphines released during sex only last so long...

Now with those two out of the way, we are left with sensible, rational people who see the trappings most fall into. Either we have the physical and not the mental, or we try have the mental but it isn't sealed with the physical. Without a bridge you can't cross a river, so to get what we want we have to balance both on some levels.

I want YOU to take on board this message. Its time to stop fearing life and start LIVING it.

I am not judging those who have sex for sport. More power to them, so long as they're doing it with the right frame of mind. Nor do I judge those who hold out. I am however convinced both types of people are doing so based on false beleif and flat out WRONG logic.

Just as you cannot have yin without yang, up without down, wrong without right. You cannot realistically head into any "romantic" relationship without the harmony produced when the physical and mental combine. Fear causes us to not commit, or over commit and worry a lot. It is this fear that then leads to the dimise of relationships. The fear then grows stronger. The only thing that comes from fear is MORE FEAR. Our task is to take a risk.

Like a handshake, or a dance, or any ritual one leads the other follows. Without equal hope and equal intention the handshake doesn't happen, the dance is out of time and the ritual is broken. Imagine if we were scared to handshake someone, put our hand out but then retracted it out of fear. Not once, but consistently. The other person would pretty soon (understandably) be pissed off.

This metaphor works for both the physical and mental aspects of relationships. Men often enter and are driven by their hormones to persue the physical relationship. They attempt to do this by offering some level of emotional connection. They are however using this as a device to get the physical, which they *think* is their goal.

Women often are driven by their hormones to persue the emotional relationship. They attempt to do this by offering some level of physical connection. They are however using this as a device to get the emotional. Which they *think* is their goal. This is what they mean when they say men are from Mars, women; Venus.

What a stupid saying. We both live on earth, and we should be in harmony. Deep down we all want both. As a species its time to be honest about desires. We have a habit of dancing around the truth. Why not express the truth and then dance in joy? Seems much more fun!

Attraction, Flirtation, Euphoria, Doubt and Truth are the five elements we progress through. Most of us go through the first 4, for the duration of a relationship because we never realise the truth, we never share our truth and so we can never live it. Boy likes girl, girl likes boy can they PLEASE make that clear to each other? There is nothing to lose but that which was never to be anyway. Which is a good thing to lose!

I want YOU to take on board this message. Its time to stop fearing life and start LIVING it.

The thrill of communicating has been lost. That heart pumping, world shaking mixture of anxiety and hope that reminds you you're alive, is an essential part of living. Our generation seems to afraid to live. We live in a world scarred by divorce and the cautionary tales of those who lived with fear but never learned from it. Every person, project or idea is an investment. Its up to your instincts, experience and intelligence to decide if that investment is worth your time and will pay off. If every fibre in you says yes and ONLY FEAR is saying no... Destroy fear.

Only those who dare to fail will ever succeed. You cannot win a race in bubblewrap. Persistence and hope in combinations are rare virtues of the successful. Yet many have walked that path, and here we sit, afraid to take the steps others have taken before us. The successful blazed a trail, by never failing to succeed. If we only took the chance. If we only took the risk. If we only considered what scares us.

Why all these ifs? Why are we stuck in Wet Sand we imagined into existence? Why do we find justification in consistently failing? Why do I keep writing with rhetorical questions?

Because I want YOU to take on board this message. Its time to stop fearing life and start LIVING it.