The liberation of being wrong, having it pointed out, then being told how to fix it is hard to measure.
Until recently I held a self limiting belief that I was uber talented, and the world refused to recognise it. I felt hard done by. The problem with that mindset is, that yes whilst I had some results and a few things I could point to as being "better than average". There was nothing other people pointed to and went "woah". (With the odd mind blow sentence being the exception)
When something comes along that questions your mindset, the usual response is denial and excuse. The world is very forgiving of denial and excuse, because most people do it too.
Being smarter than the people I grew up with, didn't automatically mean I was smarter than everyone I met. Having a few good ideas, didn't qualify me as unique. Those ideas have no value without action.
The problems in my life are my fault. Destructive behavior like over spending means I don't have spare cash to buy things I want. Not pursuing girls hard enough means, I don't have high quality girls in my life. It's only at work where there are people who see the talent and WANT it to shine, that I get challenged. You know it really bothers me, that I know women who can never meet the right guy. I could be that guy for them, but I am just too lazy or forgetful. Irritating!
I love a challenge. But am fundamentally lazy.
Now I see this. I see it everywhere.
I am two people in one. I can be distant, uninterested and bored even when there are plenty of reasons not to be. Or I can be engaging and the most interesting person you ever met. There is very little rhyme or reason to these flows. It probably has something to do with hormones, mood and the lunar cycle. Learning to manage it, and even it out is a bugger though. Consistency would be nice.
I feel like breaking the cycle with a little adventure.
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