Battle Scars

Music tends to find you at your worst points, and help you understand that feeling that splits your heart in two. It's when you've been fighting for months on end against yourself, you can feel something that never felt happening before. Hope is here.

When my heart stops beating, and my lungs stop beating, I hope somebody cares. When you're under a cloud, you become very good at making excuses, and pretending everything is OK. It's called justifying. Taking the truth and bending it to suit your weaknesses. The battle with yourself is the hardest because you believe your own bullshit.

I believed mine. For the longest time.

What's more the stronger you are, the stronger your resistance to those who are trying to help. Sometimes we do the worst thing, when we're trying to do the right thing.

My excuses were carefully crafted, and the walls so well built nobody could get past them, they ended up liking me in spite of them. I don't care if I don't sleep at night, I just wanna get this right. Disappointment has a name; laziness.

You know the fear of success, it's the thing that makes you check facebook instead of calling a friend. You know the fear of success, it's the thing that scares you from telling someone how you feel. You know the fear of success? It sucks. Its everywhere. Its gotta go.

Half of my heart is a shotgun wedding to a bride with a paper ring, half of my heart is the part of me who never truly loved anything. Half won't do.

Who says I can't be free, from all of the things I used to be? It's been a long 9 months working for TSYS, yet I owe my boss an incredible amount. I needed a kick up the ass to start solving the problems that were building up and causing me to be unhappy. The only person in my way was me. Now I feel free.

It's been a long time coming, but maybe, just maybe... I'm becoming the man always wanted to be.