Charm

Charm is an interesting word, its one which carries different meanings for different people. Usually it is held in a positive light, but with a wink at the negative; yet still liked. The interesting character of the word leads well to its use in social situations. What is it about the charming, the crafty and the behavior that would be unacceptable if it were not pulled of well? Why does it affect us like it does, and why is it a useful tool in our arsenal of social success?

Charm seems counter-intuitive, being purposefully cheeky with the intention of being liked. Or on the other hand, being purposefully caring and attentive but from a position of social dominance. Why is it we appreciate someone who can convey their social superiority without actively challenging us? Well, it would appear the answer is exactly that. We can not be jealous of those who are charming because they have "groomed" us as it were, by acting in a way we will appreciate. They slide straight through the radar of mistrust we hold for strangers and assure us with a sense of familiarity.

Familiarity breeds contempt, yet that contempt in most healthy social relationships takes a playful form and is not meant. Our politeness to long term acquaintances and friends often has a hint of familiar humor. When we as social animals can trigger these reactions within moments of meeting complete strangers we have at our disposal a very useful tool. The good news is that charm can be learned, like all behavior it is intrinsically learned. We are either taught by our environment growing up that charm is a successful trait, or we choose to incorporate it into who we are.

This means, that at all times our posture should be strong, and that if we do supplicate/help someone else we ensure they know our time is valuable and not free. They in turn will value our help more. We should be conscious of our facial expressions and learn what social triggers we can achieve with a half smile, the use of eyebrow raises and chin positioning. Our social circle is our playing ground, we can hold any position in that circle we wish to have. Among new people it is even easier, assume you hold all the cards to their potential success and realize they would not even be interacting with you if they did not have something to gain. You have unlimited power, unlimited potential; awaken your charm and live easier.