I woke up at 4am with a dream.

There are no words, only a feeling.

What I needed was the gym, it set me right and made it all ok again.


I woke up at 4am with a dream. A dream that your DNA could be linked to a unique OpenID, and at a stroke, the internets trust issues are solved. What separates us from everyone else in the world is who we are. The quirks, the broken bits and the mistakes.

To be human is to be wrong, broken and fail... then to still have the desire to get back up the next day and do it all again. I'm growing to love humanity for this aspect, in fact all life has it. We just get up and have such desire to survive.

Frustration of aging

For the first time in as long as I can remember, I'm working for a boss who wants to help me improve, and will go the extra mile to help me. In business a rare experience. It feels all shiny and new... like when you get a new phone.

The current job is great, except for the 50 minute commute either side (in good traffic). There are prospects, good people and the company has a pretty strong future. The weird sensation is being right back in the politics of it all though. Having to actually battle to get work done, and not fall into the blame game takes it out of you.

It's a strange company where you have to fight to do a project, you also have to fight to get it delivered, and resourced. Then if it slips because of anything at all, people always try to stick it on you. I'm used to a process world. Where everyone goes to look for the email chain and evidence first. This is insanity. Luckily my boss has the experience to teach me how to fight back, and will do so on my behalf when I'm out.

As a result I WILL work my ass off for that guy... BUT.

The whole thing doesn't feel right. I can't do this forever.

I feel stressed out, and like I never have spare time. My mum just moved house and is getting lonley and I can't go see her more than once a week because I have to work so hard just to keep work and my own life going. I get it, people have harder lives, but this is tough because there is no respite.

I feel bad about not having seen my Dad or Grandmother in nearly 6 months. They're not bad people. I miss them. The plans to control my life, they're in place, but always seem just around the corner.

I am frustrated. I want fun, and to see friends again, see my family and have some spare "ME" time left after all of that. Surely with all that, my contribution is valueable. My ideas useful?

Rant over. If you can relate, tell me how you got out of it! :)

The most helpful Services on the Internet!

Some helpful Resources

Rockstars vs Narcissists is a great piece by @BrettBorders who breaks down the two main schools of thought for twitter user. Be helpful vs Broadcast your life to people whether they like it or not.

ChrisBrogan.com sums up what is right about the Social Media movement, and is basically the poster boy. I have a raging hetro geek crush on him.

It's not just individuals that can be helpful. Kublax a service similar to mint.com will give you stats about where you spend your money based on your bank account details. What's more their blog is lifehacker.com levels of helpful, but in more depth.

Speaking of lifehacker.com I've written far more akward and long winded posts than this one, on how you can pretty much learn anything these days from Google / Wikipedia. Add lifehacker to those tools.

All Problems can be Solved:
Try it yourself. What is bugging you right now? The car needs fixing? Don't have enough spare cash? Need to make more space around the house?

Go type that into Google. The revolution has already happened, now you just gotta learn how to make the best use of it!

If this post is teaching you to suck eggs and lacks that cynical edge I tend to specialise in, good you're already there. You are already able to use the "Web 2.0" to its full potential. There is a lot to be said for admitting when we suck, and the ability to write in a clear and helpful way is something that I had to try.

Now for our regularly scheduled programming. Some random thoughts:

Felicity is a great name.
Mashable rock.
I'm starting to like punk music again.
Double Sailor Jerrys + Cola is a tasty way to a hangover.
My Mum is the sweetest person alive: Fact.
The whole world is one big cadburys cream egg

Cool R&D

What are the best / coolest Research and Development Departments you can think of?


History teaches us a thing or two:

Xerox Parc once had one of the best known to man (or pooch). Widely credited with bitmap graphics, the WYSIWUG text editor, Ethernet, Object Oriented Programming and of course the Graphical User Interface. Not bad for a photocopying company. Apple did well to swoop in and take credit for a lot of the above.

In modern examples who do we have though? Who is really pushing the boundaries? Steve Ballmer of Microsoft mentioned in a recent interview @Techcrunch that Microsoft spend $9.5 Billion a year on R&D.

A pretty impressive figure, but when you consider most of that investment is in the 5 core business functions, Microsoft are investing heavily to stand still and then move forward in a very fast moving technology market.

Paypal have announced Innovate 09 a conference dedicated to their new upstream payments and future innovations. Even in a traditionally compliant market, the internet and networking is having an impact and changing the rules. Rules we now have to question.

Then you have the startup big three of social media. Facebook, Twitter and Google (What blog would be complete without name checking the biggest dogs in the yard?). These have to be the prime examples of human based interaction and Interest led innovation. The key with all of them is they have managed to tap into something brilliant about humans. When inspired we will work our socks off, and almost for free.

Not everyone has a killer budget to blow on "Cool R&D" but there are some steps we can take in the right direction. We're witnessing a changing of the guard in the working population. Generation X now holds the key the baby boomers once had, and Generation Y is finally making it's presence felt. We have two digital natives in the working crowd, but we still work in our compliant business speak / mid-90s ivory towers, hidden behind the Baby Boomers.

Business Gametheory is all together quite a useful tool. So is your Google Fu and ability to demonstrate personality from miles away. Business always felt stuffy and full of protocol. There is defintely a place and time for professionalism. It's losing it's traction as a key tool though. The population wants your company to show its human side.

Chris Brogan wrote something wonderful about "How to Level Up" taking the RPG concept of building your character and applying it to your business life. It can be applied to all life. It can be applied to the gym too! The idea of making achievement measureable and satisfying is something that seems to mistify our education system, yet we naturally seek it out.

Just like we naturally seek out our interests. Cool R&D requires understanding the massive benefits of the long term view, but crucially understanding ourselves better.

It's time

It's time, after years of speculation about maybe doing something amazing with my life, the light at the end of the tunnel seems a little closer.



The question: If you could design your own life, what would it look like? Struck me as quite an easy one to answer at the high level. It's only when you have to start detailing it, suddenly it seems a little harder. Maybe this makes me a geek, but I always wanted to travel, be on the leading edge of technology and network my way to the top.

The problem was I could never square that with a day job that was basically project management or some variant thereof, for quite a few years. I was in effect a reasonably successful wheel turner.

Something in the raw evangelism and hope of "Think and Grow Rich" first jumped out at me in 2005. What followed were my first few steps into trying to make something happen, and the ill-fated ourbook/webook.com idea. As any of you who have tried and failed will know, at the exact second you have an idea, at least 10 others do. The aim and focus is to just get something out there. I didn't, and regretted it like crazy when something remarkably similar popped online in 2008.

I met this crazy talented networker in 2006, shortly after having read "The Game" by Neil Strauss and again altering my perception of life. Having seen ourbook.com go nowhere for a year due to immense inexperience and having not "just executed", I wasn't about to allow the same to happen again. Within 4 months we had a website online, and a community building. What's more my career at work was moving somewhere. I weilded real power and respect, and I liked the taste.

A year later we weren't much further down the line, my health took a turn for the worse and my career in BT was little to write home about. Despite this, my ability to network and really engage people was beginning to blossom. It was a transition period from talented raw lump of clay, into something resembling self sufficient and useful. Like any transition it was painful and wrought with near misses, false starts and soul searching.

While 2008 was the toughest year yet, it was also probably the most important in shaping the build up. I tried in vain with a few more "big ideas", but the passion just wasn't there. Convinced that if my stock was ever going to rise, it would be through one on one networking. The result was quite a bit of perception altering travel. A porn convention, spring break and leaving a very safe comfortable job with regular income...

I loved the freedom of not working 9 to 5. Despite starring down the barrel of moving back in with the parents, it felt right. At these times instinct guides far better than logic. Logic says take the money, reduce costs and get rich slowly. Who ever met a happy vulcan though?

It's also no secret that whilst for the first time, I find myself in a career position where I could very slowly work my way through the ranks, the traditional way. Logic again says get rich slowly...

But then there is this other thing. If I could design my own life what would it look like?

Big question indeed.

Testing Disqus

So I may have finally found the missing link between social networks and my blog. It's called Disqus and it's an interesting middle man! One identity, everywhere, always.

3 Steps to Innovation

Of the many companies out there who have reformed their horrible customer service records in the past few years, Dell have really caught a wave. They like Apple figured out they don't own their customer. The customer owns the interaction, and should be allowed to shape the products.



So how can we innovate within our sector, and company? Can we take lessons from Silicon Valley without appearing utopian and naive?

Every company outside of the ancient whales (AT&T etc) will have good management *somewhere*. In my particular case our Sales department wins more work than we can handle. By solving a problem in their world you grab attention, and maybe get yourself a very useful contact on the way.

Step 1: The Sounding Board. Until you find your key contact, who's going to tell you if your ideas suck? This is where twitter and a good network comes in handy. Good ideas will prompt responses.

Step 2: The Nugget. Senior Management has a short attention span, and a PA sifting through emails. Ideally you want a killer nugget to throw in person, but if like me genius tends to strike at 3am, a punchy little email will do it. Something about the competition innovating, and how you could steal their clothes? A way to cut out the workload for smaller clients? The Nugget grabs attention and may lead to the meeting

Step 3: The Meeting: Take a book to be reading before the meeting, "What would Google do" is a good start. If you strike it lucky your meeting will be that mania filled "this is where the company should be" affairs. If so you have found yourself an ally with genuine stroke in the company.

Now you need funding and a business case for innovation. This is the fun part. Being Generation Z and very visually motivated that shouldn't be a problem for you though ;)

Blog Number two today

It would appear I'm on a roll, and that the answers to all our questions come from doing nothing all day. Or at least being a little anti social and reading, then writing all day.

We are as a species fundamentally pleasure seeking creatures. The dopamine reward response is so incredibly powerful, and gives you a binary choice. Pleasure now, or disappointment in not having pleasure now. There is no tomorrow as far as your reward circuits are concerned.



Even knowing you saved money, is something you feel immediately. When the moment passes you no longer have a connection to how you felt about the action a moment ago. This means we humans are capable of tricking ourselves, and so on a regular basis because it feels like the right choice.

The hard choice is usually the right one, but not always. Without any indulgence we either become boring or bhuddist, a byword for boring. Although maybe bhuddists do have it figured out. By not attaching to outcome, they enjoy simply being.

How can I apply this in daily life?

Enjoy making the harder decision, and see it as character building. I've done this before, and still consistently fall back into bad habits. Are there any other tools besides willpower to beat temptation? Preferably that don't involve making lists or going out of your way too much. I need dopamine for avoiding temptation. Can I associate being happy with making the long term choice?

I have not signed up for an egg 0% card to transfer some debt balance, because I forgot my password and don't use the email address I signed up with. So it probably won't happen. It means ringing up, which is LONG. That "LONG" is like a fear of loss, or loss aversion, but what am I losing, comfort? Failure?

Untitled.

It always starts with a notepad, an idea and a spark.

Then the notepad gets unwieldy and the plain text is not good enough at formatting for my visually dominant brain. I can't sing, my dancing is almost acceptable and my writing is nothing short of not bad.

There must be a hundred or so texts around of me ranting on my troubles with ideas. So forgive me if this comes off a little hopeless. Deep down the problem is that it feels like I should be better at this.

Do thoughts get lost in translation between the spark and the fully formed text? (Oh look I posed myself a question to answer in another paragraph, original technique there).

Crap, I write like the woman from Sex and the City.

Stephen Fry described his writing process as a traumatic marathon of early mornings, and mid 80s hardware purchases. I worry if mine is nowhere near as epic. Throw on some big sounding emo (yes emo) and leave whatever words feel right on the screen. All the sites teaching you to write say revise, replace and simplify. For some reason my stubbornness insists that these short bursts of creativity are the answer. In a couple of hours time it will be gone, and seem futile. Maybe if I could tie all these bursts together with some editing...

That said I've wanted outsource tasks that baffle and frustrate me for a long time. One of you out there has to be a brilliant editor missing a spark. Be the yin to my yang.

But you know what really pisses me off? If someone else asked these questions I'd have an awesome answer like. "Well it takes practice and discipline to get good at something, force yourself to do it until it works". Yet I don't want to feel like a part of history, the grass is greener on the other side syndrome.

The quarter life crisis was supposed to end with the illness and introspection. The arrogance of it all doesn't escape me, that the number one topic I blog about is me. But then it's the key battle too. Being a success in the eyes of most just kinda happened. The apartment, car, and career.

I am not my apartment.

I am not my car.

I am not my job.

Who am I? Right now the only answer comes back, is a potentially talented nobody with good ideas but nothing to show for it but half finished, almost brilliance.

Maybe it's a pessimistic outlook, but it feels right. I need to learn this lesson. It takes forcing yourself and working to get results. Here I am holding on to the hope, that usually when you're about to give up something good happens. Although, I've held on to that one a few times for it not come through.

Fundamentally I bought into the idea that I could achieve greatness. Head above the parapit, Mark Zuckerberg world alerting brilliance, or just reverence in my field. The guy who hired me at work told me "You are the most exciting talent I've seen in a long time". Not good enough. Why should I believe middle management? Give me something to believe in myself, something that is real.

Something I can point to, in a moment of reflection and say "I did that", without having to explain what it is. Tim Ferris lives the 4 hour work week. A fantastic utopia of life balance. I could actually spend more time working, if I found something I loved enough and could STICK at it. Instead of once a week, or every two weeks.

A Near, Dear Miss.

Reality is what we know, plant a seed and watch it grow. We live in a world where the sun rises and sets. Our life is timeboxed into beginning middle and end. The seasons flow, the tides ebb small things become big, live, grow and die.

So why then is it still so very heart wrenching when you get a phone call saying "Your mum has just had a heart attack, she's on her way to hospital". How do you deal with that information? My reaction was intense anxiety, followed by my usual frontal lobe calm. Ok go tell the boss and just go.

This of course didn't stop me shouting at traffic in my way en route the hospital. Nor did it stop me eulogising my mother's brilliance. When you start thinking what you'd say at someone's funeral, and it makes you emotional then you have some stuff to tell them. I've tried to live my life by this rule, never leave things unsaid. Sadly when the sunshine is the sky, and we feel aright, we have no reason to tell people how we feel. There will always be tomorrow.

Then it rains, and it rains hard. No matter how strong you are, the little things always get in your way. The travel, paying bills, staying still.

All of this stress came, not because of the activities themselves, but from guilt. I felt like I haven't spent enough time with my Mum, or thanked her for the wonderful job she did raising me. Yes, typical only child right? Add to that the fact my Mum was never supposed to have children. I am literally a miracle. I've been made to feel that special every day of my existence, and the act of breathing makes my Mum happy.

No more though. I'm 25, lay down your worries Mum. I got this life.

I love you motherbear.

Post; Haste

I needed to write, but for the first time instead of words streaming out of my conciousness, I'm actually bothered about the quality. I want to do this emotion justice. It seems having very strong critical instincts is paralysing for creativity, especially when trying to express how you feel at your core.

Still; I want to record how I'm feeling, in the hope that maybe I'll look back and take something from it. Or that by writing it down, and pressing publish it will help me understand.

I prefer dogs to people as a rule. So losing Aggy has been really really tugging at the tear ducts. Not that I've fallen about in angst since I heard the news, but that large skull below was my confidant. The one living thing that knew everything about me. I mean its that it's only when I saw Aggy that I felt well after the cancer in 07.



There is something about the calming reliability of a dog. They are there, they are staying with you and are furiously loyal to you. Which I guess is something we humans don't grant each other very often. At the risk of sounding cynical, I'm observing how often humans sell each other out even to relative strangers. If it's talking the ear off a stranger about a best friend who wronged you, or if it's the dance of wanting to be wanted... We are a species who just can't commit to anything.

I read an interesting article about how our conciousness is actually something our emotions manipulate. Sure we're pretty convinced the reason we dislike the traffic warden is because logically they are parasitic in nature... but the real reason we don't like them is because they feel like they are a bit mean.

We can't use that language of course, that would risk feeling embarrassed, and self preservation dictates we cannot feel anything... but controlled bursts of melancholy or joy shared in a group.

So then society runs to its drugs, its rollercoasters and its art. It runs because it can't face itself. We have wonderful tools of expression and yet cannot say hello in the pure, and simple way an animal does. With all of ourselves. I'm as guilty of this as anyone. As an empath I'm just as likely to reciprocate awkwardness as I am openness.

I will miss my dog because pushing my face into the big skull of that rottie made me feel alive, made me feel welcomed and gave me that release that very little else in life (besides yin) can provide. The lesson I'm trying to teach myself by articulating this is to take more risks not less. Maybe I'll take a few followers on the way too.

To get what I want, I'm going to have to keep changing, and challenging myself on things I held dear. Doing so will require being way out of my comfort zone. It's strange then, that at the top of the mania cycle, making friends is easy, humour is natural to me and creativity happens. You can't force a fate you think is right, but perspective will always, always win the day.

With that I'm going to step back, and list some of the good times and memories I had of Aggy, in a log file, stored away on my pc. I miss you Aggy, you were such a good dog and my life is better from having known those big brown eyes and that fat head. xxx

Every day...

That overbearing guilt of not living your life the way you feel you should. Yeah that, you know it? I've had it an awful lot latley, working all day, to come home from the gym and collapse into a heap. All these ideas end up as useless reminders on my phone, and dreams for tomorrow. Think they better wait til tomorrow, gotta make sure it's right, so til tomorrow goodnight.

The only way out of a cycle like that is travel. It sets back my financial goals, but it helps my soul, so on balance it has to be a good thing.

So I'm going to Amsterdam in two weekends time with my favourite little person (full grown, just small, and funky), in the form of Cat. I love internet comparison sites for allowing me to book this jaunt into an amazing city, and stay there for £28/night. Now my only task is to pack as much fun into is as possible, after I've loaded the Mp3 player with sunshine friendly music.

I'm still thinking, and can't possibly communicate through this blog all the thoughts running through my head. But, I'm happy and that's what matters. I hope you are too. Wherever you are.

The Best thing in Life is...?

That noise dogs make when they are excited. It sounds like OMFFF HARUMPHHHH OFFLUGHM, AFFLUM. It makes no sense whatsoever if you don't have a dog. But if you do, well that's just a magical way of saying hello.



I love getting phone calls from excited people too. Annie wins in the excited phone call wars. "I'm just riding my bike, it's so exciting!!!". Maybe it's because its Spring time, maybe it's something to do with the economy, or maybe its pure coincidence... but there seems to be an abundance of happy around at the moment. Kudos to Karma.

The new Star Trek film got the Heroes / Lost makeover from JJ Abrahams who is brilliant at the human side to a story, but I'm pretty glad they didn't let his imagination run wild and kept to some canon in there. Reliably, Sorah informs me that it is to the Star Trek franchise what Begins was to the Batman franchise. The key for me was the casting of Pegg, who doesn't take bad roles unless he wrote it.

The SCIENCE album by Incubus doesn't get enough love. It's been one of those weeks where you need new music in your life (and by new, I mean music you haven't heard before, or in a while. Instead of whatever tripe some children in Kent just came up with). Currently digging asleep in the bread aisle by Asher Roth (who must be named after Asteroth the Soul Calibur character). As well as Deadmau5's album, which is both funky, and chunky sounding.

This has been my stream of conciousness.

Enjoying life's rear view Mirror.

Looking through old photos on facebook in the sunshine is me savouring the after taste of great moments.

Listening to some amazing music over the top is quite possibly my favourite thing except clouds. Travelling back from London last Friday was one of those train journeys where you end up making stories out of the cloud formations. Don't get me wrong, GQ was perfectly interesting, with its amusing lists, and facts about bears going crazy when you give them toothpaste. It could not compete with the cloud, and Mp3 player combination.

Compared with even a year ago life is so much better. I mean sure the economy went to shit, and I have more debt than I did, but things are going well. So well that during the train ride I mentioned above the following idea hit. Why on earth aren't major coporates delivering content over IP solutions? There are risks being first to market, but c'mon, Apple proved so long as the interface is right it will sell, even if it lacks features.

Geeks inherited the earth, and ruined it. Well ok, so movies got better, but the way we market technology is all numbers. Men in their 30s used to be playing their commadore 64 as kids, and now have marketing, or software jobs. So the geek has changed, and gone more underground, bitching and whining about how every movie isn't the same as the comic or cartoon. They must now compete to be more of an outcast, to be geek cool.

I want a new phone. The LG arena looks pretty.

That's about how much thought has gone in to it, that and I really like thier Michael Jackson remix on the advert. So yeah, Content-over-IP google? You can buy the idea off me (even though I just gave it away, and it's probably been thought of and has technology / lack of investment issues). But Google can fix it. They're like Jimmy Savile for the post .com era.

Buying a new watch and 3 new shirts made me feel badass. There is an argument that says as a result I'm fickle. But if I feel better, and look better, and can afford it... is it a bad thing? Materialism does go too deep with some, but the high minded outrage it provokes is painful.

I'm in limbo between capeable, experied 30 something who has been there done that, and quite content to raise a family & a raging party animal. The duality is interesting to experience, and just as interesting to step back from and go "woah". I mean Asher Roth is 2 years younger than me! I'm getting old by social standards, and if not certainly by media standards, yet I feel like I'm only just hitting my stride. Late bloomer WHUT.

Controlling ADD, and doing things Properly

So the lovley Christina Z sent me a message saying "Struggling to subscribe", and I noticed, I really don't get how all this blogging lark works. I mean, sure the whole posting thing is simple enough, and I got a twitter feed quick enough. Yet when it came to really digging in the underbelly of blogger I got confused.

So now not only do I have a PC that is infested with Mac OSX and slowly killing the memory of my beloved Vista. It turns out I'm behind the times with this 2006 phenomeonon known as blogging. Am I getting OLD?

It's way more likley that I'm becoming retro cool. No?

Approaching my 25th is strange. Old people who used to be cool when I was younger are now older people who have kids that find them uncool. I always knew this cycle happened, but witnessing it happen is a whole new experience. Honestly, I don't quite know how to feel about this observation. Key candidate for being one of those. Mr Ryan. This "kids today don't get it" thing is big.

It seems people turn thirty, realize they are becoming uncool in the eyes of offspring, but no longer care because their life has moved on. But in their own world, there is still a high school hierachy. We humans are strange.

The definition of cool even changes. We live in a world where men in their 30s, were the MTV Generation. They are no longer cool, but have the exact same culture. In their world they still are too. It's madness. I now get why OAPs love the slow dance thing. That was their rock and roll. Wait, it kinda was rock and roll. Colour me spooked.

Life Eventful?

Yeah. It's reaching the point where I'm activley trying to manage my life. Turns out it's a big freakin task. Lifehacker only helps so much. Can't I outsource that kinda stuff? I actually can't wait for technology to take up my human weakness caused slack. I have a terrible memory. It can only be improved so much by brain training and list making.

Give me a life extension. Like a firefox extension, I just install it into my face, and everytime I want to remember something, I just set the reminder. Can you imagine how much better life would be if you never forgot stuff?

Ahh we can dream.

Last Bank Holiday was MESSY. There are terrible photos, good memories and smiles. Catching up with people is fun, doing it in the sunshine is funè.

I guess it's because life is really good at the moment, and I don't want it to end. Like all things I enjoy, in the midst of enjoyment is the horrible brittle feeling that the emotion will pass soon. Nothing is permenant so we just chase the feeling again.

Words running through my head:

• Bromance.
• Cool new LG Phone
• Aggy is large
• Blame it on the boogie.
• ADD is difficult to manage
• Lots of people in my life at the mo woo.
• Still people I need to catch up with
• Need a PA.
• Wow that was almost coherent.
• Scrubs is shit.
• Need to get into southpark.
• God I wish I could focus.
• The Wii Fit is not a legitimate fitness product
• Annie Parker is the greatest little goo face
• Sunshine feels good to me, plants must love it
• Morrisons has some surprising DVD offers.
  

Do the Sunday dance.

Working day and night, whatever happens do the dance.

Whoever invented bank holidays rocks. The sun is shining, and anything that moves, knows where to be. I don't know why the sunshine makes us feel so much better. It's probably genetic and something to do with the need to procreate and pass on DNA. Whatever the reason, it feels pretty good being alive right now. I hope we never become a pure logic species, we'd miss out on so much agonizing about efficiency when fun is what matters.

Let's get this party started right, lets get drunk and freakified.

Headaches, Cure. Brilliant Ideas and Ketchup

As with all my blogs, they start all friendly and end up with the bigger thoughts and ideas. It gets you in the mood for thinking though so it's all good.

The best things in life are free, but you can give them to the birds and bee's... I want chicken. That's what I want.



There are few things as amazing as cooking for yourself, food your parents made as a treat when you were younger. This may sound a little trivial to some, but the sheer JOY I experienced cooking Birds Eye Crispy Chicken Dippers with Potato Waffles was only outdone by the JOY that followed when I ate them. I even used the spice mill thing to dip the chicken into ketchup. This is by no means the most nutritious or best meal ever... but it rocked my world.

Cream Eggs are nearly gone from our shelves for the rest of 2009. For some reason this year they got better than ever.

Now for the Brilliant bit
Thing's I've been thinking about that would have been nice to have been taught:

• lifehacker.com allows you to upgrade bits of your life. Really. Really really.
• Creativity if channeled right is the most valuable asset you have.
• Managing your finances means you get MORE MONEY.
• There is nothing you can't learn if you give it a shot at searching for it.
• You're not the first to struggle with something, humans can find help.
• Life is more wonderful than it is cruel, the mix of the two makes life art.
• Perfection is boring, don't strive for it. Instead go for useful, or meaningful.
• Humanity is broken and flawed, and that is precisely what makes it amazing.
• There is no joy without failure.

Question: Would any of the above have meant so much to me if I HAD been taught them? Probably not. It is most likely the epic revelations I feel almost daily have been had by many, even hundreds of thousands, possibly a few million before me. I'm not special for finding out a litany of useful ways to get the best out of life. It does however feel like my goal is to somehow use it, and then spread it without sounding like the sources I learned from.

Lessons and learning has this whole dullness problem. Learning sounds like the most BORING use of a day ever. Yet how many people do you know who hated lessons in school who love a good nature documentary?

As another example, ever watched the tv shows you loved as a kid? Didn't you feel a bit cheated when you realized how much they were teaching you. Yet at the time you loved it? Why...

Well this is the key to the whole blog post so of course I'm going to pad this out, and tease you a little first... Why did we love learning as kids? Why don't we love learning now?

"Sy", you reply poetically, "it was fun when we were kids". Yes, yes it was. It also made you really happy. It was fun when you were younger because we as a species find joy in doing what is successful. It is at its very core a survival tool to enjoy what helps us survive. Dogs enjoy hunting training, cats too, hamsters really love running around a lot in a confined space...

How useful then; a species that finds joy in learning. Wouldn't they become smart quickly compared to competing animals?

If you take a look at Stephen Fry, David Attenborough or even Jonathan Ross. What do they have in common? Their unquenchable thirst for new knowledge, media or art. The act of learning both keeps them young, whilst making us wiser.

Learning has an image problem which comes from how bad we are as a species at teaching. Instead of inspiring people to learn, we force "correctness" on them from our ivory tower of adulthood. School never stops, kids have kids who have kids. You only feel old when you stop loving life.

Knowledge used to be power, but now power comes from sharing knowledge and being a conduit for it. The internet means it's getting harder and harder to hide, control and manage. Yet humanity left to its own devices with a big fat knowledge tool like the internet... Does pretty well. It was humanity that created Religion, then Governments, then The Slinky. Humanity left to its own devices elsewhere will create the most useful power structure for success in its environment. Not through individual intelligence, but through swarm intelligence.

The individual is smart, but it can be incorrect. An incorrect individual will eventually be exposed, and the swarm learns from it.

Making the internet the ultimate humanity swarm.

Stuff what has happen.

My blogging frequency dropped like the currency markets; despite knowing I'd be way tired and have way less free time it has still come as a shock. Not so much "Well isn't that novel", more "I actually have NO spare time to do nothing". Doing nothing is one of my favorite things!

I seem to be gaining a little ground at work, largely because my approach to learning just about any task is quite different to the norm. Given a rubix cube most people will twist for a while, get one or two sides right and then present it as "done-ish". I've never been one that could think inside the box, or out of the blue sky (for you cliche lovers out there).



There is more than one way to skin a cat.
Multiple ways to pluck a hedgehog...
and a Rubix cube can be broken and then put back together.

Faith in your ability to figure out new ways, different ways or easier ways of doing things is a skill. Confession: I don't have much of a clue about how to be an infrastructure project manager. BUT, I can project manage, I pick up stuff pretty quickly, and if I don't know I'll get a clue or pointer from google pretty quickly.

There is now no excuse for "I can't do that", only, "I've not done it before". <3 The internets.

Awesome²

I took a great deal of pride in the consistency and frequency of my blogging at the beginning of the year. It felt better to get some of those thoughts out there, into the world and just enjoy the regular expression of it all g^.




The good news is all is not lost, the note taking & reading is still going on behind the scenes. I also fully intend to finish this mini rant with an amusing picture that fits in with the current greenish blogger theme I got goin on. Those ideas are still in me, it's just taking a little time to adjust to the idea of listening to Chris Moyles in the morning. Talking about the football last night, and getting on with work.

Yes it feels a bit routine already... but it won't for long. I have a few ideas on how to shake things up a bit.

Comic relief apprentice was amazing. Just as I typed that, D walks in and tells me about Cherly Cole being in tonights episode. Why not multiply the awesome by itself. So that it becomes awesome to the power of awesome... squared. Like so: Awesome²

Been thinking.

• Macs offer the false utopia of a police state.
• Linux is anarchy with pockets of good tyrannical socialism
• Windows is democratic, flawed warts and all... but ultimatley more capeable and flexible for those who know how to rise above the crowd, and a good choice for those who don't.

Maybe you should have your Geek IQ measured. If it's low get a Mac because they are pretty and allow you to be iCool. If it's super high use Linux so you feel as superior as a Lion in a smokers jacket (how much would THAT rock). If you don't give a shit. Be like Pharell Williams. I'm a PC, because I like to tinker just when it's nessasary or feel like it... but have the rest done for me, because I'm a straight up pimp YA HERRRD?!

Doctor Doctor. I'm about to tell a formulaic joke.
Hatstand.

Finally - time to chill.

Yes that's a kung fu squirrel...

The cold is wearing off, the panic and shock to the system of having to be up at 7am, working like a dog all day, then hitting the gym, then trying to have an evening... is finally letting up.

When something is rare, we tend to value it more. Except steak, that always has to be medium rare to be perfect. My point is; I've been busy, its the weekend & by God am I glad that first week is out of the way. Why I had to have the worst cold in a long time, during my first week of work in a long time I'm still unsure. It is mighty cruel though.

Things I've noticed. Getting up early is as easy as putting on a pair of trousers. It's an old habit, that even if neglected for a little while just falls right back into place. Kudos to my Mum for making me go to school for all those years. Mad respek.

For the first few days I was in a virus and shock laden bubble. Nothing in the world seemed the same as before. It was always dark & I had way less energy. Which sucked, because I like being me. It's fun, you get to look at life from a funny angle and go "heh, that's weird" a lot. Which is just about my favourite thing outside Malteasers, and a good hips to waist ratio (you'd think those two are diametrically opposed, but no!).

Going into an office where everyone is overworked and super busy is a new experience. A growing company is a great place to be for your career & the kind of company that buys a Nintendo Wii as a raffle prize to raise money for comic relief... clearly is ahead of the curve. (Ohh, cliché, £1 in the cliché tin).

Which leads me to; it took THREE days before I heard a management cliché! No blue sky thinking, or outside the box crap. No synergy, very little touching base. It's a good sign because people are being direct. Not the kind of being direct that is a "core coporate value". The kind of direct where you ask someone to look at a database and they tell you "It's broken, I will when it's fixed". Respek nummer two.

Now for a little break in my rant. Breathe. Take a little look out of the window. Yeah go on, it's a nice enough day. Think about animals. I enjoy doing that.

So where do I go from here? Coventry? Alaska? The dark side of the moon?

Well promotion is earned not given. It takes daily effort & I'm more than happy to put that in. Can I? Will I? With every fibre in my body I'll push. If there's something to learn, google has the answers, the overviews & templates done by other people to steal. Living in the information age means knowing the question is now as important if not more so than knowing the answer. Fingers crossed. X marks the spot.